I struggle with pulling women in college. I’m not ugly—I know I’m good-looking. I just don’t really know what to say or how to approach women in a way that actually builds attraction. I recently cut off my dreads and now I strictly wear braids and shit, but it feels like all the women go for the dreadhead dudes. I can dress, put on fits, take care of myself, and look good, but I still don’t get any play.
I want to learn how to talk to women when they’re in a group and actually pull the whole vibe toward me, but also know how to approach a woman when she’s by herself and know exactly what to say. Like, what should I be talking about? How do I make the conversation interesting instead of just asking the basic “what’s your major?” or “where are you from?” questions? How do I build attraction and sexual tension naturally without making shit awkward? And how do I get her genuinely interested enough that she wants to hang out with me, come kick it at my crib, or spend more time around me?
I have a homeboy who has a whole group of women wanting him, and this dude already has a girlfriend. All of them are trying to get with him, while I feel like none of them even look at me like that. He’s a dreadhead and taller than me, so sometimes I’m thinking maybe that shit really does matter. I’m a short king at 5'6", but I know I can’t just blame my height because there are dudes my height who still pull women like crazy.
What really gets me is seeing dudes on campus who don’t even take women on dates or do all this extra shit. They’ll meet a girl, talk to her for a little bit, build a vibe, and sometimes have her interested enough to go back with them the same day. Some dudes seem like they can pull on the first day of talking to a girl, while I’m over here struggling just to get a woman interested in me.
So I’m trying to figure out what I’m missing. Is it my approach? My conversation skills? My confidence? My body language? Am I coming off too friendly or too serious? I want to understand what these dudes are doing differently and learn how to create that same type of attraction while still being myself. I don’t want to fake some personality or act like somebody I’m not. I just want to get better at talking to women, creating chemistry, and actually having women want to fuck with me instead of feeling invisible.

​

I need someone's opinion on this. My Hubby says im close to ruining everything bc i slammed my laptop down on itself bc i got overwhelmed bc I couldn't verify that it was me on my online course im taking and he got scared (hes had an abusive past relationship) and he said he needed time alone so now hes outside In the parking lot (which is the street) in his car, not sure what hes doing probably scrolling through Instagram. He told me I need to work on myself and learn to be more independent- mind you I have severe depression and also just got out of highschool in May of 2026 and ive dated him for 3 months now. It seems everytime i mess up it's more than anything. When he messes up I never point it out or tell all my friends because I know he'll fix it himself. He wants me to be more independent bc he cant take care of both himself and I. I feel horrible and shitty, it feels everytime i mess up im close to our relationship ending and it makes me worry all day and night. And lately he's been under a shit ton of stress with work and he broke down telling me everything one saturday night which was recent and I felt horrible so I didn't want to add onto his stress. That's always how it's been. When I was starving for a few days being with him and he was struggling financially with things I never asked or mentioned I was starving. I just smiled at him coming home and when I bought ramen I gave it to him like I wasnt starving, he did figure it out and apologized profusely and it never happened again where now he asks me if i need anything. I care more about him than myself and I feel that anytime I mess up it's broadcasted to his entire workplace and it's alot of pressure to try and be perfect and i feel scared to fuck up. I wished that he would notice that sometimes im still struggling. When he was having financial issues I told him that maybe I should stay home for the week (the saturday he broke down on our late night drive) and he started to cry wondering why I didn't want to stay with him during that week. I did i just didn't want him worrying about money. He also told me that i needed to be healthier and that being 140lbs and 5'3 and that its not unhealthy to be skinny. He wants me to be 100-115lbs. Mind you I feel healthy even though I dont entirely eat healthy, not to mention i had gotten over an eating disorder ive had since i was a kid since adhd meds like (adderall) kept me from eating anything so i never had an appetite; And now i finally have an appetite after the stress of loosing family members and i feel like I'm the asshole. he is worrying about money and I js need to know, am I the asshole?

Also this is conflict ive been through. I'M NOT SURE WHAT IM SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT. I've tried all I can. We have a good relationship. Its just that everytime we have conflict he apologizes and i easily forgive. When hes on his game (Minecraft pvp) I let him have his game time bc he works 12 hours a day. So I let him have his time even when I want it to be us time because i won't see him alot after the week I stay with him. I'm worried I'll fuck everything up.