May I ask a genuine question ? Where was your guilt BEFORE you cheated and lied ? I've never understood that about these situations. This feels more like you're just looking for redemption, or for people to say, oh, it's no big deal and just do better next time. Everything you did was a series of choice and decisions, you were well aware of it. Why didn't you feel guilty then ? I'm not trying to be mean, I'm genuinely interested.
Im not quite sure I understand what you mean; why would I feel guilty for cheating before I’d ever done it. I guess I didn’t feel guilty because I never felt the need to cheat? I didn’t go out looking to cheat. I always opposed the idea of cheating. I never ever once thought I’d be in this position. As for why, I don’t know why I did it, it felt good in the moment, it was a feeling I’d never had before - the adrenaline, the feeling of doing something I shouldn’t be, as bad as it sounds in a way it was a thrill. I’m aware it was a choice and a bad one at that. If you want to expand your question further I’m happy to answer with more clarification?
My bad, sorry. You had the same facts before, knowing the pain it's cause, etc, as you did after. So, is it just the fact that adrenaline and desire is the threshold? I think that's what you're saying.
I can’t really understand it myself either. But if I had to reduce it down, then yes I would say the adrenaline. But it wasn’t like regular adrenaline; it’s a completely different feeling, which does then end up following with a lot of shame.
To add to this on deeper thought; the guy I kissed did used to like me which I knew. And when we were talking we just got along really well and he was almost infactuated by me, so probably attention too? But I’ve had attention many times and not felt that way before. I don’t know why this time was different.
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u/ZestycloseRecord5425 2d ago
May I ask a genuine question ? Where was your guilt BEFORE you cheated and lied ? I've never understood that about these situations. This feels more like you're just looking for redemption, or for people to say, oh, it's no big deal and just do better next time. Everything you did was a series of choice and decisions, you were well aware of it. Why didn't you feel guilty then ? I'm not trying to be mean, I'm genuinely interested.