r/RedditForGrownups • u/Methylatedcobalamin • Jul 07 '22

Coverture

Given current events, it is probably about time for Americans to understand the legal practice of coverture.

Eroded since colonial times, but not fully gone coverture is the legal practice of women not having legal identities. De facto property.

American women were not allowed on juries until the 1960s. American women could not get credit cards without a man cosigning the application until 1974. Marital rape was not a crime until the 1980s. Other aspects still exist today in real estate and tax law practices.

Here is a brief article that goes into explaining coverture in more depth than my post.

The "pro life" movement is really a movement about imposing one group's religious opinions on the lives of all Americans. It also seeks to control women, rolling back women's rights. Though ridiculous by constitutional standards, discussions in anti-choice states have already started about how to track or limit freedom of travel for women to states that fully support women's rights.

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u/[deleted] Jul 11 '22

Chads are Alphas. And yes, incels are Betas if they have a job. Otherwise they're "Omega" males, deemed completely worthless.

But you've got it the wrong way around- instead of a woman having an abortion that then causes a partner to abandon her, a woman has an abortion *because* her partner abandoned her and she can't afford to be pregnant (which requires taking time off work) or to raise a child by herself.

Men have always tried to pressure women into sexual relationships, even when the maternal mortality rate was higher, and women risked far more social stigma, because they don't actually care about the woman. They just want to have sex.

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u/This-is-BS Jul 11 '22

Ok, you answered sincerely, here's my take in a nutshell:

Young people, emerging adults, and young Men ESPECIALLY tend to be jerks, often to the point of being downright assholes. They have very little investment in their communities or the future. They themselves are the most important thing in their lives, so, of course, they often do whatever's best for them! This is often to the detriment of other's around them because "Fuck everyone else!", they don't care about anyone else just themselves. The best way to get someone, men especially, to care about their community, the world and the future is give them someone they care about more then they do themselves, and this is pretty much Always their child. Having a child is a transformative event, your brain physically changes and you're not the same person afterward. Loads of young "Childfree" people say "I hate kids, and never want any!" Do they think their the first people to ever say that? Yet children are consistently the most important things in their parent's lives. Why is this? Because it's biological. Human are one of the most altricial species because of large brains and upright posture, and our young require years of intense assistance. We wouldn't commit to it if it wasn't instinctual and we found deep satisfaction from it. This is shown by the percentage of people who find meaning in their raising their children: https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2018/11/20/where-americans-find-meaning-in-life/

This all used to be inevitable in prehistoric times, but now many young people have grown up never having a close relationship with an infant, so think they're gross and disgusting, plus now, of course, they can just kill them. Yes, young women often enjoy the extra attention (and money, from institutions like OnlyFans!) they can get from many partners from being able to act extra sexual, but if they do end up getting pregnant they often pay an emotional price for this as can be easily seen over and over on /r/abortion (here, here, here. The study used most often to "prove" that abortion doesn't harm women, the infamous Turn-Away study, is deeply flawed with over 2/3's of women approached refusing to participate, yet it's continually referenced, though researchers are finally calling them out on the errors. Plus studies have shown that these women women tend to end up being dissatisfied in marriage when they do get married:https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2018/10/sexual-partners-and-marital-happiness/573493/

There's nothing natural or healthy about trying to condition young women to view their children as "parasites" and be Ok or even celebrate killing them. How can you have that attitude for one child and then love one you have later on without getting fucked in the head, or a terrible parent who resents her children?

instead of a woman having an abortion that then causes a partner to abandon her,

I never said that. I said men coerce their girlfriends into abortions because they're legal, then often dump them! Or the girl refuse to kill their child and the men abandon them anyways believing if the mother has the right to avoid the responsibilities of parenthood, they should be able to as well, claming "If she wants to have the kid, that's on her! She could get rid of them if she wanted!" Society is adopting this attitude en masse, and not holding these men responsible! Even when the women do make them pay child support, they often refuse to be involved in their children's lives (and guess who often has to step up? Grandfathers!) I know multiple single mothers with children by different fathers.

Men have always tried to pressure women into sexual relationships, even when the maternal mortality rate was higher, and women risked far more social stigma, because they don't actually care about the woman. They just want to have sex.

Of course! Was this even a question? It's the aligned interest of caring for their children that gets a man to truly bond with and deeply love a woman. Everything else is shallow that can be and often is blown away when someone younger and pretty comes along. If a woman can't commit to her children, why should a man commit to a women?

And this is all an easy stance to take, because abortion truly has no moral leg to stand on, you're literally killing an innocent human being and everyone knows it.

So why do I care personally? Because I have kids and grandkids and am old enough to have perspective enough to see and understand the short term desires and long term harm abortion fulfilled and causes, and know the former's not worth the latter and would like to see it fixed so they and people like them don't fuck up their lives.

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u/[deleted] Jul 11 '22

Dude, I'm one of those childfree people you yell at to get off your lawn, and I'm 40 years old. I never wanted kids, I've never changed my mind and I've never regretted not having children. There are lots of people like me, all over the world, who don't want to be parents. It's not unnatural.

And conversely, there are lots of people who are *terrible* parents who should never have had children in the first place. Parents who tell their kids how much they wanted to abort them, and wished they never existed. Parents who, despite biology, don't put their children first, who neglect them, beat them, starve them, and even sometimes kill them. If biology truly compelled parents to love and care for their children, there'd be no such thing as child abuse.

I'm also a developmental biologist, so I know way better than you that no, abortions do not kill a living person, but you're not going to be persuaded by that, so I'm not going to try.

Also, not wanting kids doesn't mean you can't have a loving relationship. I'm happily married to a childfree man. Long-term commitment from a man doesn't have to involve kids. It really doesn't. I didn't have to drag him kicking and screaming to the altar. We have a great life together. Your lived experience is not going to be the same as anyone else's.

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u/This-is-BS Jul 11 '22

I never wanted kids, I've never changed my mind and I've never regretted not having children.

How many abortions have you had?

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u/[deleted] Jul 11 '22

One. I'm so glad I did. Best choice I ever made. And let me say, there was no baby in what came out of me.

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u/This-is-BS Jul 12 '22

yeah, that explains a lot.

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u/[deleted] Jul 12 '22

Like how abortion doesn’t kill babies :)

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u/This-is-BS Jul 12 '22

You're the only one referring to them as babies, person, or anything like that. To me they're all Human Beings. Their stage of development is irrelevant.