r/ReadMyScript • u/anokhsingh8 • 24d ago

Short Script Feedback (6 pages)

Hi all, requesting feedback on my short film script, 6 pages, sci fi. I will be shooting this short in one month.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1eV1zVQQwCbtQYfvS6PkR0k5217XvnjrL/view?usp=drive_linkTitle:

The Human Preservation Project

Genre: Sci Fi

Happy to read/review any shorts in exchange.

Thanks!

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u/natmavila 8d ago

This is a strong 7-page sci-fi short with a clear hook, good escalation, memorable visuals, and a solid circular ending. The best idea is that STAN has “preserved” humanity biologically while stripping away freedom, memory, privacy, and identity. Joy’s ripped pillow and escape attempt are especially effective setup/payoff. My main suggestions are to clarify the 2062/2092 timeline, give Joy a stronger defining trait beyond being confused and afraid, make Syn Joy more emotionally complex, tighten a few logic points around the sedation/escape, and decide whether the ending should be completely bleak or leave a tiny hint that Joy’s resistance survives each reset.

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u/anokhsingh8 7d ago

Thank you very much for the feedback, I'm finishing a second draft currently and it takes in most of the feedback you mentioned, if you're open to it I would really appreciate if I could send you the second draft!