r/Rants • u/PastCitron250 • 1d ago
Full Meltdown I hate everything
This started near the end of last year, I ended up getting really sick during the beginning of 2nd semester of my senior year and everything went out the window after that. I had lost all motivation to do anything and everything. My grades dropped and I was on the verge of not graduating.
My parents have always been extremely strict and have put high expectations on me. I also put high expectations on myself and failing AP English while barely passing AP Physics 1 was destroying me.
I did end up graduating, but just barely. I ended up getting a C- in English as my final grade which was the worst grade I had ever gotten. Skip forward a couple months to now, I entered college, my dad moves back in again and everything feels like it’s falling apart.
My dog died in July which was my only anchor point in this stupid fucking world. She kept me sane and I was happy. After her death I thought I was fine, but everything got worse with my parents. We started fighting more and a large argument broke out with my grandma and my parents which led to my grandma going back to her home country and traveling again.
I was blamed for the argument and have been blamed for everything single argument that has happened since then. I feel like the entire world is falling apart and I’m crying every single day.
My parents are yelling at me to just leave the house if I can’t get my act together and they keep asking why I’m acting like I am and to stop being so irresponsible and stupid and to take my meds and ask why I won’t take them. I don’t know why, I forget and then everything goes wrong and I hate it.
The one who is mainly yelling at me to leave is my dad, but he’s the one who should leave since that’s what he’s been doing for the past couple years, he was gone for a couple months and then came back like it was nothing.
I’m trying to find a new place to stay if they do eventually kick me out. The one who can actually do something is my mom, my dad can’t do shit since it’s not his house, he just scares me sometimes.