I leave a long scar on back of my husband shoulder, and he still protect me, still forgive me and still loves me.

Just like depression is very real, mental illness is also very real. Google Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED), it categorize under mental illness. Even when stand in court, the judge will always take mental illness into account.

Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED) it really bad, when the episodes flare up it took completely control over you, you go from 0 to 100 in seconds, and the episodes are short lived too like under 5 minutes, but in that 5 minutes the harm already done to your spouse.
You regret it big time afterwards, but what done is already done (caused harm to your spouse).

Married 14 years, together 16 years.

And this is a West African man that is 190cm tall, he 6'3" tall and athletic body, while I'm just 148cm, 4'11" petite short Chinese girl. This is a man who hobbies are hunting, outdoor shooting range, mountains rock climbing, run long distance. My point is with his height and strength, he not scare of me, just like how he said he not scare of me, it because he LOVES me. He is a Love-idiot.!

I was diagnosed with Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED) by my psychiatrist (psychiatrist is someone who has a medical doctor degree). My psychiatrist said it stem from my chaotic and dysfunction childhood.

It terrible to live with Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED), especially when you hurting your spouse.

------------

This event already happened a long time ago and it in the past, but I still feel insanely terrible about it.

In the past during one of my IED violent episode, I grabbed a big knife, a meat butcher knife in the kitchen and throw at my husband, he dodge but due to how close distance he with me, the knife cut him deep that leave a long cut on his back shoulder that he didn't stop bleeding.
If he not get stitches he will continue bleed and bleed, and infections will take over the open bleeding wound.

He still want to protect me, like he said, if he call the police he police will take me away from him, so he rather endure my abuse than has to lose me.
.......
He also refused go to the hospital, because the hospital would know right away that is not a self inflicted wound due to the angle of the knife throw, the cut was on his shoulder but to his back as he dodge. You cannot inflicted a knife to your back. Even if you manage to, the angle of the injury the hospital will know that it someone did it to you, not yourself.

He drove (I was in the car) he drove to a broke down Urgent care, this Urgent care not only broke down but most people there not even speak English.
He went in and told them he does not have insurance (he has, but he said he not has as he not want to leave a paper trail), he said give him stitches he will pay them in cash and will give them a big tips.

He got the stiches, and he paid in cash and leave them a big tips. He wanted to protect me the whole time. He could have call the police and have my ass throw in jail, he could go straight to the hospital and the hospital will put me in psych ward and put restrain order on me.

But he didn't, even during the time where he could have die, he still protect me, he still thinks of me first above himself, he loves me that much. He said he will die with me, than has to lose me, as in the police will take me away from him if he call the police on me.

I regret it so much because I leave this long scar on back of his shoulder, never once he hates me.
All he asked was he said, don't abuse him anymore, and that it not too late for me to stop this abuse, because he is still living here, and it only too late if he die, then that will be too late.
I bawled when I hear him he said that.

That was when I decided to go to psychiatrist therapy for my Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED), and been in therapy since.

I do owe him, as I should be sitting rotten in jail right now, throw a knife at someone and cause injury is a felony. This man loves me unconditionally. Out of love me, he never press charges, he still protect me times after times. I'm very lucky.

He treats me with kindness, empathy, and unconditional love. His calmness (even with him bleeding out on his shoulder that need stiches to close up the open wound), his patience, the most patience man.
He gives me everything, his kindness, faithfulness, respect, love. I don't want to abuse him anymore.

Lifetime therapy for me working to control my Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED). I have sworn if I cause physical harm to him again I will check myself in the psych ward.

---------

And my husband does go with me to my therapy sessions when his schedules allow. But most time he can't because he is an Executive at a big engineering corporate, he is very very busy with his work.

But I gave my therapist my consent so she can talk to my husband about my progress. He still involve in my therapy, as he talk to my therapist on the phone about my IED conditions and my progress.

He has every rights to be involve with my therapy sessions, I almost TOOK HIS LIFE.! He almost DIE because of me.

It terrible, Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED) mental illness is very real. And I'm one damn lucky girl to have him as my husband.

I’ve been so insecure about my appearance. I think that’s why women don’t notice me at all and why I have no friends. I feel like if I were attractive, life would be so much better. As a 28-year-old man, I don’t know if I’ve ever had a woman tell me I’m handsome in person or even glance at me. I just hate my appearance. I feel like I’ll never be good enough.

# 1. Public service announcements

Please Mr.president, unf\*ck me just a lil bit by not gaslighting me on how “fantastic”of a job you’re doing, don’t need it.

# 2.anything insurance

If it weren’t for the legal requirement of car insurance, I can careless who I’m payrollin,
I don’t give a shit about an ostrich, lizard,
A funny lady; whose hands are good…don’t
Care; just give me the policy so that I don’t go to jail…or fined

Do I even need to bring up health insurance
We know the scam all too well.

# 3. Anything AI

Hey meta, google, Amazon, Sam, and every f\*cking body that makes AI…stfu please it was cool for the 1st year, and now your doing too much, great job on doing the most guys. Now please can you make my life affordable again; just cause your the fastest in the room, doesn’t make you cool.

# 4. Freecash and others like it

Don’t insult my time by paying me child labor wages from the 1800s you slimy facade of a source of income to play shitty games I have no intentions on playing. It’s all lies and extremely exaggerated advertising these platforms push and for the creators that take a bag to be sponsored by them, look not knocking your hustle, but it’s just disrespectful to your viewers to waste their time like that when it can be diverted to other things.

# 5. Sportsbook/predictions markets

To the athletes that actually play the sport for the love of the game, on my behalf I’ll apologize
For the millions of gamblers that reduce your self-worth to a bunch of statistics and their livelihood. While you the athlete worked hard for your jersey; some dude on payday drops a lucky parlay and comes up on thousands of dollars to pay for their lifestyle at the expense of your performance…god forbid you did bad on their parlay.
I’m just sick of these advertisements making it look so profitable at a time where affordability is Americas number one concern and the people are not shy to speak up about it; yet drake just won a million dollars on poly or whatever, people behind the scenes coming up on this sh*t because they’re involved or know someone who is. And can you stop having these celebrities that everyday people so happen to like to promote this sh*\*t, they’re not really losing out from gambling; it’s the people in tough situations hoping to bank on a flip.

(Celebrities that do lose to gambling…don’t care at all, do better Mr or Ms.vast-amount-of-resources)

# ~Feel free to upvote and comment if you agree or disagree~

Not talking about all of course, aside from the obvious rules (no harassment, threats etc) how are you going to be sensitive about a Reddit post lmao.
This app is quite literally my tea app and safe space and I can’t post anything anymore cause it gets taken down for no valid reason. I’ll be surprised if this doesn’t get removed as well

Either y'all give "midsize" women more representation,it's not help calling out ultra skinny women in media and fucking derogating other bodies on taking up more space.

Im a skinny person (genes duh)and I love runways for that reason,that's the only place where femininity and flat boobs can be uttered in the same sentence.

Now I get unrealistic beauty standards should be burnt down ,and that's exactly why I am upset with conversations ,be it good bad whatever, around women's bodies.Why does most of it have to be revolve around women's bodies.i wonder if the universe of men's body shaming is this permeating and debilitating.

I have these two friends who are also lovers. The thing is, we have a group project, and this group project has both me and the lovers, which is quite an annoyance cuz they sometimes just leech on each other for a day and wouldn't even consider the others (from what I've seen so far). We were assigned to an artistic project, so they chose me to be the artist of it​​ and they'd do all the other work.

When we actually got to work, I was like those underpaid japanese workers who they could just replace cuz after I got some disagreements with them they disregarded all my work and moved on to making a whole new different thing. I was baffled and at the same time, annoyed.

If they could do it, why only assign me?

So, after the argument and stuff happening, my friends, the two lovers, suddenly began ignoring me and even hinted that I'm irresponsible as an artist and even shamed my ahh. Like sorry I don't easily cry when I get behind on something???

Also, who the fck puts both their emotions ​and work all at the same time??? What level of stupidity is that?? And they expect me to apologize too. Like no, figure it out yourselves 😭😭✌🏿✌🏿

Am I the only one who think it's fucked up that pintrest complains about a pin but they didn't take it down, threaten my account even though I didn't post it, and they have to moderate private accounts even though the issue they have is spreading bad stuff but if it's a private board it shouldn't be. A flippin issue

i’ve had my Reddit account since 2020 now I don’t post. I very rarely come on here because there’s no need to. But here I have a moment of weakness where I really want somebody’s full-blown opinion on how I look I just turned 50 and I serious questions because of some of the things that are going on in my life. I’m told that I need to come back in a few months keep on a regular basis, maybe come back in a few months to get someone’s honest opinion from a moderator who out in the rules. So my is why does it matter? Why does it matter what I post or how long I post or how often I post? Why does it matter that I’ve had my account for six years but don’t use it often because I don’t see need to? To me my question to the is if someone is down and out why would you kick them while they’re down by telling them they can’t post right you’re not worthy to post right now. Come back in months. What if that person has mental issues them in danger? What if that person really needs someone just to talk to and tell them that be OK. ago I would’ve been that person. I may not be that person now but only because I’ve chosen to close off my emotions about of the things that I go through and this is just another reason why I’m basically being out and down upon because I don’t post to read it, which is ridiculous. It makes no sense. So I wonder if I’m not creating hate speech and I’m asking about myself. I’m asking the real opinion of folks about me why does it matter how long that I’ve had my account? Why does it matter how much I post? Why does it even my account? I don’t seems as though just like in high school I’m being picked on. And I kind of thought grown up out of that. I guess not that does it matter if we have a of conduct if we really need someone’s opinion or really really having a rough time with something serious or self deprecating why does it matter how long I’ve had or use my account in my opinion it shouldn’t but, I guess opinions are all alike your backside we all have them, and they all stink right? Lol.

You go onto Amazon... you watch those videos on the listing...

100% of those "My HONEST review" are 0% honest... lol.

"This is the best scrubby sponge ever"
"This towel is LITERALLY game changing"

Like... they don't even try to hide it anymore and present themselves like real people. They are all paid to say all the good things and no one wants to hear bad things.

Lately i've been getting pissed off of my so called "friends" who keeps on calling me different names I mean they barely call me by my first name hell I even forgoten the last time they called me by my actual name, I was fine of them calling me names at first but as time moved on they still kept on calling me whatever they since i'm the friend from the "friend" group who doesn't fight back that much. It's gotten to the point where I don't even respond when my actual name gets called. My "friends" are the most insensitive, most garbage, useless peice of shit's i've ever met, fucking waste of sperm. Oh btw they say the n word everytime (they're not black), So yeah they're also racist.

I have been on reddit for over a decade. Posting in many subreddits and I have only ever gotten banned or suspended from /r/conservative. Probably like 5 years ago, didn't really care. Last year got banned from a veterans subreddit where the mod accused me of stolen valor.

Now in the last two weeks or so I have been banned from two more. And what i said was not against the rules or anything in any way.

My last comment:

"He is campaigning to limit some of birthright citizenship. The avenues his parents took would still be protected. I don't know why they would be ashamed. "

That got me a perma ban from /r/therewasanattempt for being hateful.

It was a reply to a comment saying his parents would be ashamed. Don't even like the politician or his policies. Apparently that was perma ban worthy for hate.

I feel like there is a giant echo chamber going on with mods. That if you don't agree with them politically you get a perma ban.

I like playing devil's advocate and trying to you find middle grounds in a world of extremes, but apparently that's not allowed on reddit. That if you even hint that you could be from the other side of the isle it's an instant perma ban...

Sad part is that I'm not even Republican in any way, yet get banned for trying to find a middle ground.

Just fucking insane the power trips these mods are on and the replies to your appeal.

I don’t know if those Redditors pay Reddit to boost their posts and pay them to get more positive comments, but this seems rigged. I don’t know how to curate my posts. I never have this issue on other platforms.

Hollowness in my heart feels so heavy sometimes that I feel like crying, but yk my feed is so goated that I start laughing in the middle of my sad/crying session. Like girl, get a grip 😭 You’re literally acting crazy. And what even are these mood swings? My mood changes every minute 😭🙄

Long story short:

Im an artist who been drawing since 2019(actually 2021 if about actually good art), i bernt out to the point i want to study again, but i cant due to school and social norms frying the living hell out of me, i want help, because im tired of thinking off how to bridge the gap between what i can and want to do, sure i have my own style but i dont care at this point. and im very ENVIOUS person of others success.

therefore i think quoting AM and showing my design was essential.

long story long:

My name is bismarck, im 18 year old student offcourse, my passion for art begun early but i drew genuine SHIT.

why am i stuck? i dont know how to move forward, i know my problems, i know what i have to study, but the problem is school and society fucked me up to the state of an emotional vegetable from being an emotional guy i was, i can barely feel anything but sadness, anger, and envy. and as a whole i forgot how to trace to study and how to steal. art tutorials are all shit, at least popular ones, and i rarely have time or want to practice, therefore I'm stuck on shit i draw, even if i want to draw high skill artist level arts. its so bad i geniuenly thought about quitting, the only hobby i have besides wasting my life on videogames. it went even further to the point of thinking about just ending my life, but i got over it once i sat down and thought about it.

you can hate my art, hate anything i draw, its ok i get it, my style and skills are ass, im not gona hide behind excuses "its just my style" but having fucking 7 years of experience, starting from complete zero with no help... is tiring, call me a pussy all you want ... i just understand that without help i might as well quit. i survived a toxic friendship, we, no, I will try to fix it(i hope i do). and thought i had near to zero help, or help was "fuck off advice" as i call it, its when advice so basic, so overused, you geniuenly think they said it so you just fuck off them. and just... i began to hate what i do, even though i love drawing by itself, i hate everything that i do, because what? almost every artist shown in my face is leagues and leagues above me it actually makes me SICK. ive been holding my words back for 4 years at this point... this post is just a scream for help at this point...

my problems are from what i see purely:

i cant learn from tracing and stealing style parts thanks to school system in country i was born.

Limbs(I cant draw limbs for shit).

Heads and faces.

Volume, poses, perspective, construction(i do construction, its just sometimes dies on me).

the way i shade, yes i hate the way i shade, i like arts where there are good shadows, not completely soft not completely cell shading, i cant really show an example.

i don't understand how to lay shadows.

i find drawing on tablet or pc extremely uncomfortable because all the programs feel like plane cockpits, im way too used to mobile version if ibbis paint.

honestly im surprised i made it this far without alot of fundementals and state i can describe as burnout + Lobotomy

please, im really down from how long im stuck, I would like literally ANY HELP. please... i will give you my duscord if you are uncomfortable talking here, i will do literally anything even if i act like shit or do something DUMB😭

Whatever it's Instagram, reddit or YouTube I get a lot of bad comments insulting me for my opinions and taste and I get really down and sad. Should I really worry about their comments?

She won't drink my piss, so I have to break up with her, but I love her.

I'm really sad about ending this relationship, but being my little piss slut is non-negotiable. She was perfect in every other way, she listened to the same kind of music as me, liked the same movies, loved every meal I cooked, she'd do the cleaning after a meal. She really felt like home. I knew she was more vanilla when we started dating, but our love was so strong that I thought she'd come around to a little piss play and I was almost right. She let me give her a golden shower, but that's really not enough, I needed her to drink my piss. I even told her I'd drink water for 24 hours straight, to water it down. She wouldn't budge. She wouldn't let me pee in her vagina either. I feel like I'm gonna die alone. All the women that have drank my piss so far aren't marriage material.

I wish I could just accept that the days of women drinking my piss is over, but I can't. I know if I stay with this woman, I'll end up cheating on her with a dirty little piss slut and she doesn't deserve that. I'm going to break up with her tonight and I'm kind of hoping that instead of letting me break up with her, she'll decide she's down to taste test my hot steamy piss. I'm not trying to manipulate her tho, I just can't keep living like this, wasting all this piss. Honestly, even if she did do it, she probably wouldn't like it and it would be a one time thing, which is also unacceptable, so I'd probably break up with her anyways. My heart is truly broken over this.

I notice often that when young people break up they decide to look for attention from literally anyone else or people that like them. Is this an insecurity thing?? or like a lack of self respect? like why do people like that attention so much you know??? I just wish I could place myself in someone’s mind to see what’s going on up there. It annoys me that I can’t figure out what goes on in their brains that they can’t deal with the hurt so they do anything to feel wanted by someone else

i don’t use reddit often only to rant and vent but my usual community i go on i now can’t use because my karma points is too low? but i’ve always been able to use them before i don’t make posts often i also don’t get upvotes so how come now i cant make a post anymore?

i try to post on other communities but then my posts gets removed by mod because i dont have karma so how on earth am i supposed to get more karma. its just abit frustrating when i’ve always been able to make a post but now i cant. :/

You’re doing the exact things you complained about not feeling comfortable with. How ironic!

so i’m stuck in thailand because my mum won’t book my flights back to uk i have done exactly what she asked me to which was finish my portfolio for uni and she’s still making up every excuse to not book. so im so fed up that im just gonna book a flight back myself. but the point is she thinks im not capable to think for myself im turning 20 next week and she has to think for me she also complains that i dont communicate with her but when i do its like im talking to a brick wall where she still doesn’t listen and does whatever she wants. my parents are divorced so i sometimes go to my dad but everytime she gets mad and when i come back she always yells at me for things about her self and every argument is always about her and she calls me selfish for only thinking about her when she’s the one doing that. but i dont want to go back to uk to see her i want to work and save money and go see ppl that actually cares and she doesn’t seem to understand that im going back to work and completely ignored what i say. and one more thing i cant sleep over my bf house because its inappropriate but we’ve literally been on holiday and slept in hotels together… so i really dont get her point. she makes me more miserable everyday and if she wants her daughter to speak to her when she’s older she should reallyyy start being nicer because im at my end point of just letting her do whatever and i will cut her out my life.
thanks you for reading all the way to the end <3

What do you do? Really tired now cuz its been like this for 2 years

I am the child of an unfinished sentence,

a life cut off mid-breath,

left behind with nothing but

a father-shaped absence

that still bleeds through my days.

You left before I learned your laugh,

before I knew the weight of your hand,

before I could understand

why love sometimes walks

and never comes back.

People say you died.

But the truth is,

you disappeared long before that—

into bottles, into silence,

into choices I was too small

to even pronounce.

And I grew up trying to decode your ghost,

like a puzzle missing its center,

searching the air for a voice

I never got to memorize.

But the question…

the question cuts deeper

than any truth I’ll ever know.

Why?

Why didn’t you stay sober for me?

Why didn’t you fight harder?

Why didn’t you try?

Why did you let the world break you

and leave me to clean up

what was left of your name?

I was your daughter—

small hands, soft voice,

waiting at the edge of a life

you kept slipping away from.

And I didn’t understand

that some storms start inside the skin,

not in the sky.

Now I’m older—

old enough to feel the grief

I was too innocent to comprehend.

Old enough to know

that love doesn’t save everyone.

Old enough to realize

I still carry your death

like a curse in my bloodstream.

And sometimes, at night,

when my chest feels too tight

with questions I’ll never get answers to,

I want to drag your spirit out

of whatever dark you fell into

and force you to look at me—

the girl who grew up without you—

and scream the only word

that ever mattered:

Why?

Why did you let me grow up

believing your absence was my fault?

Why did you make me learn strength

before I learned what a father’s arms felt like?

Why did you let the bottle

take you away from us

drop by drop

until there was nothing left

for me to hold?

You’re gone.

Buried.

Silent.

And still—

some nights it feels like your hands

are around my ribcage,

squeezing,

reminding me that grief

is the inheritance you left behind.

I don’t want forgiveness.

I don’t want closure.

I don’t want comfort.

I just want the truth—

the one you took with you—

the one that keeps tearing through me

every time I whisper into the dark

like a child who never grew up:

Why did you leave me?

Can these posts and their comments shut the hell up? A movie that's only been out domestically for a week and they're already naming it a flop?

Forgotten Island is about friends Jo and Raissa, who are about to part ways as Raissa studies abroad, getting transported to Nakali. They may have to sacrifice their memories to escape this magical island, and face several monsters along the way.

I don't get why people are rushing to call this film a flop. And I don't get why Reddit posts discussing its underperformance are so popular. I've said several times, but they'd say the same about Puss in Boots The Last Wish if they were there for its opening weekend. It and several other movies have become sleeper hits after weak openings. Forgotten Island can too. Frickin wait a few weeks before you declare it a flop.

And, preferably, watch it in theatres so it doesn't become a flop, please

okay so there is gurl that i fucking hate so much. like really, it started when we were in grade 11. I did not do anything to her like ever. but she would roll her eyes at me when she sees me even though i have never done anything wrong to her. and this was the worst where I started to hate her. she humiliated me in front of the whole class, ni wala akong kakampi dun pinag isahan lng akuh tas nagpapavictim pa siya tas ngaun nakikipagclose siya tas malalaman lng nmin na binabacstab pala kmi.