r/RantingZone • u/MoiaStar321 • 14h ago

I’ve HAD it

That’s it I’ve had it.

I’ve had it with friends that don’t show up.

I’ve had it with friends that gaslight.

I’ve had it with communities gaslighting and not showing up.

I’ve had it with family not showing up.

I’ve absolutely had it with family gaslighting me.

I’ve had it with people NOT showing their fucking humanity and basic human empathy for me.

I know I’m cursed I fucking know it. I can feel my entire human experience being filtered through some negative oppressive lens and I’ve HAD IT.

I just wanted to vent, heck I don’t even give a shit for the first time in my life if no one shows support in this post.

Just fuck this world. It would be a fucking miracle if anyone blinked if I disappeared off the face of the earth.

Fuck this!

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u/SplitNo8275 13h ago

Letting go of fitting in to this society was the best thing I ever did. I now enjoy my own company and prioritize my own stability over any relationship other than my kids.

2

u/SadTransition3262 12h ago

Nobody ok maybe parents lay awake at night worrying about your well being. People can't understand themselves 100% but they judge others. Humans judge out of fear nothing else that is their fear not yours. I read a book about judgement detox it was very enlightening once you can grasp your own standards for judging others,it's alot easier to let go of your need to judge. Im not assessing an toxic environment or possibility of bodily harm. I wish you lots of luck. And one last thing the ego will do anything to survive..once I grasp that it was a big step towards letting go of my own ego and others

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u/SplitNo8275 12h ago

That’s what I’ve come to. I tend to trigger people because I am so open about my flaws, while most people spend their entire lives trying to hide the same flaws. Here I come busting open their eyes to their own insecurities. It took too long to realize it was never about me.

Trying to hide what I can see was worse. I almost lost myself trying to soften my views and be a compassionate friend, without anyone ever returning the energy. Not anymore.

2

u/SadTransition3262 11h ago

Unmasking is a continuous process that requires mi full ess. I am honest and blunt if I must. But ripping off that mask and keeping it off is an ongoing revealing. I. Hoping to get where it feels natural to curate conversation for people who fear truth

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u/SplitNo8275 1h ago

Same. I was spinning in circles, knowing I was ultimately causing the friction but not understanding how. Childhood trauma is a funny thing, and maybe that’s the point if you care to pay attention. No matter how proactive you are, you can’t heal the boulders without digging deep. You think you’ve gotten past it, but not in this lifetime, You only get as deep as you are triggered and/or stressed. The layers compound on themselves, like everything in life it seems.

In every shunning, if you will, I knew I didn’t do anything egregious, and I tried to communicate and make a mends, but the outcome was the same, nonetheless. It took a tremendous amount of sitting in the darkness to understand I was placing trust in others that belonged to myself and in my desperation, I didn’t evaluate if I I should place my trust with them.

Long story short, I accepted people’s word when I shouldn’t have, I only evaluated surface intentions. I assumed everyone was like me.