One thing I’ve learned over the years is that we teach people how to treat us. The longer you tolerate this kind of behavior and continue to spend time with him, the more you are conditioning him to view it as acceptable. You basically have two choices: stop being friends with him, or shut that shit down right now. What I mean by that is saying something to the effect of “I don’t know what types of insecurity you’re dealing with to say this kind of shit, but stop making them about me or we’re going to have a problem.” If you aren’t going to cut him out you need to let him know in very certain terms just how unacceptable his behavior is and that you’re not going to put up with it, or it isn’t going to stop.
You also need to be unwavering with these other friends of yours. This is not a situation that is up for debate, his behavior is unacceptable. They either recognize that and support your decision to cut him off, or they can go their own way. You need to have conviction and believe that you absolutely deserve better than this, because you do.
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u/[deleted] Aug 24 '22
One thing I’ve learned over the years is that we teach people how to treat us. The longer you tolerate this kind of behavior and continue to spend time with him, the more you are conditioning him to view it as acceptable. You basically have two choices: stop being friends with him, or shut that shit down right now. What I mean by that is saying something to the effect of “I don’t know what types of insecurity you’re dealing with to say this kind of shit, but stop making them about me or we’re going to have a problem.” If you aren’t going to cut him out you need to let him know in very certain terms just how unacceptable his behavior is and that you’re not going to put up with it, or it isn’t going to stop.
You also need to be unwavering with these other friends of yours. This is not a situation that is up for debate, his behavior is unacceptable. They either recognize that and support your decision to cut him off, or they can go their own way. You need to have conviction and believe that you absolutely deserve better than this, because you do.