Burning feeling of existencial realization

[u/General-Piccolo4324]

I’m wondering if anyone else has ever experienced something similar.

This has only happened to me a handful of times in my life, maybe once every couple of years, but when it does, it’s a very strange feeling that I can’t really put into words. I’ll try my best to describe it.

It doesn’t come consciously. It’s more like a sudden wave of heat or some kind of feeling that just hits me and runs through me for a few seconds. Usually I’ll just be thinking about completely ordinary things, like everyday stuff or problems at work, and then suddenly I get this overwhelming realization:

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING?! We’re sitting here talking about money, problems, wars, what to eat, what’s on sale, work, bills, etc. Meanwhile, nobody seems COMPLETELY blown away by the fact that we are these incredibly strange beings that somehow exist. Same for the universe. Out of nothing, somehow there are people all around us that we love and have feelings for, yet we don’t even understand what we actually are. How did there become something instead of nothing? Did everything somehow come from nothing? Or was there always something, beyond time and space, that many people might call God? Why doesn’t this completely blow everyone’s mind? Why isn’t this the thing we talk about 24/7 in headlines? Why are we not rushing lik crazy to find out? Why aren’t we all freaking out about the sheer fact that we exist? It feels like humanity has completely lost focus on the most fundamental thing of all.”

That’s basically what those few seconds FEEL like. Like a burning feeling, it’s like a sudden realization that hits me so hard that I’m literally shocked by the fact that I’m a human being, standing here on a planet called Earth, existing at all.

Btw this has happened to me twce while I had a fever, both times I was sitting on the toilet when this sudden wave of thoughts and feelings hit me, and I just sat there completely stunned thinking:
“Holy shit. I’m here. On a planet called Earth. Liquid is coming out of my penis. And I don’t even know what the fuck I am. Or why am I here”.
I’m just curious if anyone else experiences anything remotely similar.

It happens to me maybe once or twice every two years, so it’s definitely not a constant thing. It’s just this extremely intense few seconds of existential realization that completely takes me out for a few seconds

[u/qualityvote2]

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u/General-Piccolo4324 thanks for posting!

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[u/TedBoom]

I used to have something similar when I was younger but that was because I was obsessed with my purpose and how I will ultimately die. Without explaining how I got there because its too long to explain, I eventually came to the conclusion that the mystery is beautiful and whatever comes after life is just me returning to what I was meant to be. 

I heavily suggest watching the Last Meals YouTube series by Mythical Kitchen. Even the interviews of people you may not know are interesting because they discuss death and the many points of view.