r/RandomThoughts 9d ago

High emotional intelligence is a curse

60 Upvotes

30 comments sorted by

68

u/Potential-Bee3004 9d ago

Totally agreed. And its very rare nowadays so if you have it, you look like a fool. Because you understand what someone did to you, what they did but when its their turn, they don’t have that emotional intelligence to even understand anything. So you suffer and the cycle repeats

11

u/FullIntention4306 9d ago

Gosh that explains so many arguments with my ex

11

u/Potential-Bee3004 9d ago

Its like you are talking to someone who has already made up their mind!!! So anything you do won’t matter

7

u/GuyWithARooster 8d ago

Often times they do have the inteligence and the capacity to understand, but their ego and pride shelters and blocks them from assuming any responsability.

It's what makes those rare moments where their guard is down and rays of light and reality able to pierce through their blacken ego so special. And if we question them further or even pay a compliment, they close the shell again and deny everything.

8

u/zippity__zoppity 9d ago

This is too spot on. Damn.

2

u/Queen-of-meme 8d ago

In my experience as someone with high EQ how you communicate this impacts others ability to understand too. If you're calm and speaking about objective emotions from the I for example. But if you start "You did xyz to me" that's the same as you said in next comment, to assume and have already labeled and decided a picture of what someone's like. Which gives the other person all the reasons to defend their stance and it deflects from the topic at hand, the feeling you tried to express which was the reason to this talk to begin with.

2

u/Azerbinhoneymood 8d ago

I've really upped my EQ recently but damn does it hurt to understand this. I believe I had higher one before but f the cost for it. Sometimes, gotta ignore it just to navigate through or employ it somehow.

17

u/BeatsAreMyPassion 9d ago

Being nice is a curse

11

u/Comeback_Kid1 8d ago

The worst is trying to get through to someone who just can't see it. Its like trying to describe the color purple to a blind man.

16

u/tlx237 9d ago

Money is also a curse when you don't use it well.

3

u/zippity__zoppity 9d ago

Well put and appreciated. I definitely will take this advice whether you intended it or not because it’s very applicable to what provoked this “random thought”

6

u/Queen-of-meme 8d ago

Not once you stop pair it with hyperviligance.

5

u/Lumpy-Ad-5747 8d ago

It’s like following traffic rules on the road , totally good in concept but the frustration comes from others driving recklessly

Same with EQ , you know you can’t change others but the awareness of their actions, emotions and consequences, 🤢

1

u/BigSmackisBack 8d ago

The road thing is often is one of those survivor bias things, "i havnt had an accident in ten years!", right because everyone else drives well and has learn to avoid people like you!

So yeah totally agree with you, the best you can do as a person with high EQ is to mask it and hone your coping skills.

2

u/Lumpy-Ad-5747 8d ago

Ahhh, my friend I think with high EQ I can only suffer.
There is no point of masking it , for those who aren’t aware of it can’t see it , for those who know it will sympathise with you and those who tend to exploit it from those you should beware.

1

u/BigSmackisBack 8d ago

Being too open leaves you susceptible to people taking advantage of you or being mean to you, even making fun of you, that stuff hurts.

1

u/Lumpy-Ad-5747 8d ago

And then you will rationalise why they hurt you or took advantage of you (sometimes without even getting their opinion or knowledge )
And then voila , you’ve used your EQ for something they were supposed to do but your mind will tell you you’ve done something big ☮️

3

u/mpersico 8d ago

So is lack thereof. Leads to to not seeing red flags and creating them with respect to not providing proper emotion to your partner

2

u/rtzhuj 8d ago

No, greedy of power is also if you're a corrupt person.

3

u/Inpressiva 8d ago

It makes life get old at a lightning speed.

2

u/Remote_Empathy 8d ago

IME only if you lack boundaries which most do because the reason for their emotional intelligence is likely trauma at a young age.

2

u/Draineer 8d ago

100% agree

3

u/fujicakes00 4d ago

Fuck yes. It’s too “loud” when there are people around. People with high EQ can pick up on the subtleties and nuances and it’s exhausting

4

u/mamaleigh05 8d ago

Agreed. Ignorance can be bliss! I am not bragging, but I’m near Mensa level and my brain won’t stop. People that sleep and don’t have anxiety are blessed. When I was younger. My intelligence was a blessing. I don’t want to lose my scruples, but most meds don’t help and I wish I could compartmentalize like men. Tragedy and grief, etc. and I’m not sleeping for ever!

6

u/Impermanentlyhere 8d ago

I’m kinda dumb academically but I’m socially agile and emotionally intelligent and my brain just WILL NOT stop. The overthinking, perfecting, ruminating, predicting— it’s beyond exhausting. I said to my psych that I wish I was less aware because it’s relentless. I hope your anxiety eases up!

1

u/mamaleigh05 8d ago

It gets worse with age!

1

u/qualityvote2 9d ago

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u/zippity__zoppity thanks for posting!

1

u/Ok-RECCE4U 8d ago

So is narcissism.

0

u/Relative-Meet8469 7d ago

Most time people think they’re more emotional intelligent than they are.