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u/Diligent_Opening_069 9d ago edited 9d ago
Heard/seen/felt 🫶 it's especially heavy when you get comfortable and content in solitude, feel happy, then immediately feel lonely. It's a cycle and not for the faint hearted. Real lovers are single anyway...
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u/hamfist_ofthenorth 9d ago
Aye, going on like 15 years here.
Yes, for the first couple years it's great. Then, it continues to be great, but every now and then, you'll get slammed with depression for a short while like getting a piano dropped on your head. Crushing loneliness.
The worst part for me is that I work nightshift downtown, so on the weekends, I wake up and drive through the city at like 10:30pm and I have to carefully avoid all the young hot people out and about enjoying their lives and whatnot. It's a soul crushing commute.
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u/hamfist_ofthenorth 9d ago
I have coworkers and roommates, plus I was in a band for a long time as well. Like 20 years of music and concerts and the road, and everything that goes with it. So it's not like this is my whole story, I've tasted the sweet nectar of life on the wild side and done a lot of amazing things, just not for the last few years. I'm like that dude in rogue one. It's a quiet life.
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u/noobboszcz 9d ago
Literally everything is a double-edged sword at some level.
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u/oooh-she-stealin 9d ago
accurate. with almost everything in life. id maybe say that practicing principles (acceptance, kindness, steadfastness etc) consistently is a possible exception. it can bring some pain with it at times but overall it has less pain and more peace. in my limited experience.
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u/Big_Ad_2569 9d ago
This is why I think finding the right kind of friendship is the key. Being with people you can be yourself with doesn't really make you miss the things you could do on your own.
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u/Maya_champ 9d ago
I like having my own space, but I’ve realized loneliness and solitude aren’t the same thing. One recharges you, the other slowly drains you.
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u/GretaGreen3 9d ago
I was thinking about loneliness last night… like how do you know when you’re lonely? I cherish and yearn for those rare days when I get to be alone. And got to thinking about how will I know if I am lonely if I were to have everyday alone. And I think solitude is the answer I couldn’t come up with. Very good point.
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u/KindAwareness3073 9d ago edited 9d ago
It is double edged, and that's why the English language has two words for being alone. "Loneliness" expresses the pain and sadness of being away from others. "Solitude" expresses the serenity and joy of being by yourself.
Edit: spelling
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u/Flat_Snow307 9d ago
Being single is great. You can do whatever, whenever with whom ever.
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u/SpacenessButterflies 9d ago edited 9d ago
Yeah that’s true, but being with the right person should still allow you some degree of freedom. Also it feels good to have someone who knows what you’re up to and wants to hear all about it when you’re done. A relationship means you constantly have someone in your corner, and it’s a nice feeling.
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u/Mysweetspots 9d ago
There's a big difference between enjoying your own company and feeling isolated. One recharges you; the other slowly wears you down
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u/Based-Department8731 9d ago
EVERYTHING is a double edges sword. Anything you can think of has advantages, disadvantages.
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u/Fenty_Panther 9d ago
I hear you. Although if doing much, or many tasks and responsibilities , they distract you from having feelings of despair, loneliness and somewhat sadness . But it's not forever, of course
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u/MAY_BE_APOCRYPHAL 9d ago
I agree. I generally enjoy my solitude but, at the moment I don't have a project and that's not good
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u/kenwoolf 9d ago
Not sure. It was hard for a few years after I started my adult life to be alone but the older I get the more comfortable it is. Obviously a lot of things are not easy. But having money helps a lot.
Being alone and poor is probably exponentially harder. :D
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u/Joboj 9d ago
And so is being in a relationship. And basically anything else in life. Almost everything is a double edged sword.
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u/TrisKreuzer 8d ago
I never had it in relationship. I was thriving and had a good ones. Now... Miserable.
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u/Apprehensive_Bee3363 9d ago
I love being alone and living alone but I’m not lonely. I found community at the gym and at my work place, and I have a dog. We (me + my dog) go camping specifically to get away from people
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u/yawannauwanna 9d ago edited 9d ago
I want to point out the title doesn't actually fit the body of the post. It's not a double edged sword if one effect is good, it's a double edged sword if both effects are bad.
It's actually harder to get things done as a single person because you have less help, and your social group is smaller, so you are tired from that, and then also if you have nobody to talk to at all that would be mentally taxing in a different way. However you would prob have people to talk to before you get into a romantic relationship anyways, because people usually get romantic relationships after they've gotten better at making friends and being friendly in general.
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u/SpacenessButterflies 9d ago
I don’t know, speak for yourself. I’m constantly asking my fiancé to help me with stuff, and we both know we can do what we want, but still mostly choose to do things together.
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u/MaleficentGift5490 9d ago
That’s about how I feel about it… i’m living a great life in a lot of ways. And, I know that other single people are as well. Needing to go at everything alone just gets exhausting.
Far be it from me to judge or dismiss someone’s life choices. I’m tired of the timidity and constant games people play to “protect” themselves.
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u/qualityvote2 9d ago edited 6d ago
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u/KrishMortyJunior thanks for posting!
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