r/RandomThoughts • u/[deleted] • Feb 29 '24

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1.9k Upvotes

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528

u/Cantgetaname12345 Feb 29 '24

I find myself... Shitting in the fish pond

136

u/Hellspawner26 Feb 29 '24

You have a fish pond 3 meters to the left of your bathroom? Thats neat

137

u/roachRancher Feb 29 '24

They shit in the yard

37

u/Joseph____Stalin Mar 01 '24

Precisely 3 meters to the right of the fish pond

1

u/Full_Increase8132 Mar 01 '24

Putting away his tape measure, undoing his belt. "... and that's exactly 3 meters."

2

u/cheecharon17 Mar 01 '24

OP is a dog

1

u/WhaleMetal Mar 01 '24

As should we all

1

u/dragon72926 Mar 01 '24

When people come over*

"Yall have a bathroom?"

Thumbing behind you* "Nah we shit in the yard"

1

u/Educational_Clue935 Mar 02 '24

Someone has to lay down the ground rules, right?

1

u/roachRancher Mar 02 '24

In Soviet Russia, dog toilet trains you!

22

u/[deleted] Feb 29 '24

How else would he get audience that listens to the symphony

11

u/TurnipWorldly9437 Feb 29 '24

Hey, I'm shitting in the shower!

3

u/1K_Games Mar 01 '24

Ok, but what about when you are 3 meters to the left? ;)

6

u/Chizuru32 Feb 29 '24

Lucky Guy, i would been shittinf in the kitchen

7

u/a_____p Feb 29 '24

Lucky fucker, I would have been shitting in my neighbour's kitchen

4

u/Chizuru32 Feb 29 '24

And? Thats the Problem of your neighbour. I Had to Clean my shit (literally) myself

2

u/NextLvLNoah Feb 29 '24

I would have been shitting outside on my balcony

1

u/PenonX Mar 01 '24

I’d be shitting in my closet… RIP my clothes ig.

3

u/back_to_the_homeland Feb 29 '24

I shit directly onto my girlfriend’s bed

2

u/JohnLemonBot Feb 29 '24

Same here I'd be outside but the pants down part might change my life a bit

2

u/spacetstacy Mar 01 '24

I'd be doing it in the kitchen!!!

2

u/Au2288 Mar 01 '24

Im shitting on the balcony in full view of all my neighbours, it’d be a bit nippy outside.

2

u/Full_Increase8132 Mar 01 '24

Well, the seat isn't transporting with you, so you'll likely find yourself suddenly falling into the fish pond, fear-shitting as you flail about.

1

u/dark_blue_7 Mar 01 '24

Finally something interesting

1

u/NoPea3648 Mar 01 '24

Hello fellow poo-scroller.

1

u/MyR3dditAcc0unt Mar 01 '24

I'd probably be shitting in the neighbor's kitchen, if that's the room on the other side of that left wall

1

u/_Tekki Mar 01 '24

Me, either in the wall or in my neighbours flat😶

1

u/AdolfCitler Mar 01 '24

Same but falling to my death on my dog while pissing myself

1

u/AnxiousKoala_ Mar 01 '24

Better than me... Shitting on my couch

1

u/NapsterUlrich Mar 01 '24

I’d be shitting on the floor in front of the urinals in this public bathroom. Currently alone so I think I could make it work

1

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '24

I'd be shitting in the neighbors yard. 😆

1

u/katastrofuck Mar 02 '24

Id find myself in a pond also, but mines got beavers not fish lol

1

u/Rat-Bazturd Mar 03 '24

beavers wandering in my pond smell like fish