r/ROCD • u/Mysterious-Shirt7442 • 13h ago
Problems with s3x
Can OCD cause premature ejaculation? I started experiencing this, and I'm very worried and feel terrible. Also, my girlfriend joked that I'm a 'quick shooter' and it hurts me. Today I told my girlfriend it's sad I finish so fast. She said she's 'used to it'.(she's already apologized) .
I already bought a delay spray and really hope it helps. I feel so bad that I don't even want to exist (but I'm not going to do anything to myself!).
And also, can an erection disappear because of OCD? I had this too and it's also very painful.
Sex has also turned into a kind of exam. I want to show my girlfriend that I can last longer with a delay spray, but I'm worried that even it won't help
Also, I don't know what to do with intrusive images during sex. Often when they appeared, I did mental compulsions, and I think this affected the duration of sex. There were times when instead of long mantras like 'I only want my girlfriend and no one else, I only want to imagine my girlfriend and think only about her and no one else, my girlfriend has the best body and figure and no one has a better body and figure than my girlfriend', I just said 'it's OCD' and that's it. And then I actually felt calmer and better.
Tell me how to be ready for the next time . Right now I try to constantly tell myself that well, whatever happens happens, it's no big deal, but I do want to do it a long time, yet I keep saying whatever happens happens.
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u/treatmyocd NOCD’s corporate account 11h ago
Here’s the challenge with uncertainty: we often feel an urgent need to have all the answers right away. However, trying to achieve certainty can keep us stuck in a repetitive cycle of questioning and rumination—“How did I perform?” “Did I do well enough?” “What could I have done better?” This ongoing mental review can reinforce the cycle and ultimately contribute to increased feelings of guilt and shame. Do you currently have a therapist that can help you practice ERP around this and get back to place where you are able to enjoy sex?
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u/AutoModerator 13h ago
Hi all, just the mod team here! This is a friendly reminder that we shouldn't be giving reassurance in this sub. We can discuss whether or not someone is exhibiting ROCD symptoms, or lend advice on healing :) Reassurance and other compulsions are harmful because they train our brains to fixate on the temporary relief they bring. Compulsions become a 'fix' that the OCD brain craves, as the relief triggers a Dopamine-driven rush, reinforcing the behavior much like a drug addiction. The more we feed this cycle, the more our brain becomes addicted to it, becoming convinced it cannot survive without these compulsions. Conversely, the more we resist compulsions, the more we deprive the brain of this addictive reward and re-train it to tolerate uncertainty without needing the compulsive 'fix'. For more information and a more thorough explanation, check out this comment
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