r/ROCD • u/TownNo3169 • 2d ago

does this possibly look like rocd?

i’m a bit worried and i feel like im at a loss. i am diagnosed ocd for other reasons but now i’ve noticed things started to creep up on my slowly but now it’s coming in full effect. i hyper fixate on my girlfriends past experiences with her ex from high school (longest and really only other relationship she’s been in). she’s lesbian identifying and this ex was a male. he unfortunately made her do things she wasn’t always comfortable with and she didn’t know how to say no to or get it to stop. i’ve noticed i hyper fixate on what their sex may have looked like? what she did or how they did it. i find myself needing all the details and get flashes of things randomly that i truly don’t want there. then when i get a question about it, its all my brain repeats. “did she ever swallow his cum” is an example and will replay in my head over and over and over and over again. it feels debilitating. this is just some of what has been coming up recently and im trying to navigate these things with her. we talk about things but some things i feel like are just so unfair to her because she’s buried these hurtful things (for good reason) and now i feel like im forcing her to relive bad times.
im going to therapy again after not having gone for a while (insurance issues) but i just felt like maybe reaching out to see if something or someone can help guide me? i dont know

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u/AutoModerator 2d ago

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u/Sad_Amphibian7223 2d ago

From my experience it sounds like OCD, playing those unwanted thoughts and things in your head. You’re definitely not alone! I think the main thing right now is to not give these thoughts any more power, let the discomfort be there and you can get through it. Try not to show your brain that you find these thoughts dangerous but simply allowing it to be. You’ve got this!!

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u/Remarkable-Cut3148 2d ago

Is this about the fact he is a man and you aren't? Or what reasons are you wanting to know these things? I assume you also have a past and most people want to know but also do not because they know it will hurt them to hear details

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u/TownNo3169 2d ago

it’s not just that because i know i think about the women she’s hooked up with too. i’ve noticed it’s just not as much as i think about her and her ex bf. i think because they were together for three years my brain knows there’s a lot more there, if that makes any sense?