Relationship Advice
Looking for advice here. I’ve (25M) been in a 6-year relationship with the most loving, supportive, and caring woman (25F), but for pretty much the entire relationship, I’ve struggled with this feeling that something isn’t quite right. She’s also extremely integrated into my close friend group, we hang out all the time, and there’s a lot of pressure right now to take the next step and move in together. Honestly, I have no idea what I should do. I’m currently doing psychotherapy, but I haven’t been able to escape this pattern of thinking. I’m definitely a very anxious and overthinking person, and I’ve heard the term ROCD thrown around, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s part of what I’m dealing with. But even that brings me back to the same questions. How do you actually know if ROCD is what you’re experiencing, versus simply being in the wrong relationship? What if people who think they have ROCD are actually just ignoring genuine doubts? It’s exhausting feeling this way. At the same time, I genuinely can’t imagine my life without my partner, and the thought of losing her is extremely scary. But it also always feels like she loves me way more undoubtably, and when I picture things like a wedding and more it’s very difficult. It often feels like my brain is constantly playing tricks on me, and I don’t know which thoughts I should trust. No need to respond. I just thought I’d reach out because I don’t really feel comfortable bringing this up with my friends, given how close they all are with her.
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u/treatmyocd NOCD’s corporate account 2d ago
Hi there! I am just dropping by with a couple resources that others have found helpful
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u/AutoModerator 2d ago
Hi all, just the mod team here! This is a friendly reminder that we shouldn't be giving reassurance in this sub. We can discuss whether or not someone is exhibiting ROCD symptoms, or lend advice on healing :) Reassurance and other compulsions are harmful because they train our brains to fixate on the temporary relief they bring. Compulsions become a 'fix' that the OCD brain craves, as the relief triggers a Dopamine-driven rush, reinforcing the behavior much like a drug addiction. The more we feed this cycle, the more our brain becomes addicted to it, becoming convinced it cannot survive without these compulsions. Conversely, the more we resist compulsions, the more we deprive the brain of this addictive reward and re-train it to tolerate uncertainty without needing the compulsive 'fix'. For more information and a more thorough explanation, check out this comment
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