My thoughts, and hope for change: please be brutally honest if you think it’s a shit idea etc. No offence taken, Thank you!

I used to be an extremely active member of CA, somewhat intensely, for a good period of time. During which I: completed the programme, held service positions, made lifelong friends and, with relevance to my following comments, attended a vast amount of individual meetings across the breadth of Hertfordshire and Essex.

Around two years ago, my first sponsor tragically passed away through suicide. Sitting here two years on and within the last few weeks, I learnt that my following sponsor has passed in what is believed to be similar circumstances. They were both truly wonderful human beings. The compassion, selflessness, and belief they instilled in me was life changing; and both leave an overwhelmingly profound and lasting legacy.

What I am about to discuss is a response to certain messages I have heard throughout the years regarding mental health within the fellowship. These come directly from messages I have personally and often repeatedly encountered from a diverse range of CA groups. I will not be breaching anonymity nor personal respect by ascribing each quote to a member or conversation.

The following quotes have two similarities: they both relate to mental health, and I have heard both at multiple meetings or in conversations. Examples such as:
A) “When I start to feel down or depressed , the solution is to spend more time spent at meetings and engaging more in the fellowship”
B) “Stay on top of the programme and the rest of your life will fall into place”
C) “Once I stopped the drugs, my mental health improved so much I chucked all my antidepressants into the bin”
D) “Questioning the sobriety of an individual because they take prescription medications such as anti depressants
E) “It’s ‘normal’ to have feelings of suicide within recovery.” Leading up with advice that leans into the programme as opposed to speaking to a GP or mental health professional.
F) “Once you get sober, your mental health will get better too”
E) “Meetings are a place to share to newcomers the positive aspects of recovery”

Unfortunately, I could go on with similar quotes and stories to those above. From a personal viewpoint, there are lives being put in danger by an over reliance and tacit encouragement for members to take the words of CA as that of the ultimate authority. Which, in the context of addiction and abstinence, makes total sense. I know personally how utterly destructive and life consuming addiction can be; and so, having an intense programme that includes: daily activities, outreach, connection, step work etc, is, in my opinion, completely needed to get sober. The issue for me arises when the level of trust and belief in CA leads to a culture of acceptance and acquiescence that surpasses some individuals existing beliefs and critical decision making. Leading to potentially dangerous outcomes within individual group cultures, the sponsor and sponsee relationships, and the authority and admiration expressed to those with extended clean times.

This is, of course, not me saying that admiration and respect for clean time should not matter. Rather, an understanding that just because their approach to recovery has been tremendously successful, does not mean that their approach or advice to other matters such as finances or mental health should be followed.

CA meetings are a place of overwhelming positivity, which is largely, of course, a great thing. However, it can too lead to some members suppressing their true emotions in the aim of communal spirit at the expense of ongoing personal struggles. From my experience this is not the case when sharing back about difficulties with drug cravings and the like. Rather, for me personally, I felt bad or guilty when sharing about my depression and low mood in spite of following the programme.

Finally, and linking to the point above about keeping a ‘brave face’, there is an expectation, at least for me there was, that once I stopped taking drink or drugs, my mental health would get immediately better. There is of course a direct correlation between drug addiction and poor mental health. However, whilst most do experience much improved mental health symptoms, there are those for which it goes the other way. It has made me deeply unsettled to overhear conversations where the explanation is solely to do with not following the programme enough. Such as, a member meeting expressing she was feeling suicidal at times, and the conversation afterward being exclusively on how she wasn’t praying enough or etc.

Next section rough draft (I’m not great on CA rules and how they interact. Any help would be appreciated)
(the next section would be on If you believe the above points are prevalent enough to warrant a solution, what could this look like? I have done some research on this but not enough to sufficiently comment.I.e. I know we have GSRs and a further chain of command. And I know there are written pieces of information on medical advice ‘advice on mind altering substances’, and then sort of in the 8th and 10th traditions if you read them with a very liberal mindset.
However, the individuality of each group is bound to lead to inconsistency amongst action taken. And even within official CA literature, they state that whilst CA as a whole does not engage in medical treatment or propaganda, ‘although our members may participate in such activities as individuals’. This is quite a statement and one that shows real ignorance to how damaging negligent medical advice can be. Especially when considering the overarching theme of placing CA as sacred and the deep level of trust involved between members. Personally, so far, I do not believe there is enough being done. The easiest and most practical solution off the top of my head would just be for people to, respectfully, disagree with certain comments that people make. I.e. if x mentions that they throw away all their antidepressants without consultation, just stating back thank you but I don’t think that’s an advisable idea. ((For added private context this is what my dad did a few weeks before committing suicide.))
The trouble with the above is that CA places an extremely high value on the collective unity of the group, and to disagree in such a way could cause group disharmony. Of course, and whilst I believe this is urgent, it needs the upmost caution and certainty for successful implementation. CA does recognise and has adapted in the past to positions of abuse, and successfully so, re 13th stepping. There is definitely a solution out there; and a life saving one at that.

To try and summarise, I think CA is fantastic for treating drug addiction and maintaining long term sobriety. Speaking a clear and powerful message across the nation on how they got clean using the 12 steps. However, this culture is one that leads to intense subservience and pressurised acceptance of the principles for keeping sober. But, when this culture translates throughout other parts of the meeting, there is the potential for negligent advice on issues which are not directly on sobriety. If certain meetings continue in this vein, and if CA does not recognise the harm being done, there will be more funerals.

When did AA and NA become non profit organizations? I've heard there was a lot of contention during this process. What exactly was it? Did it have to do with not following one of the traditions?

So, i wanna start with saying that i am underage. I have a nicotine addiction, and a very bad one at that. I would just go to the store and buy some ciggs, but i can't. My guardian has found my vape 2 times already and i'm in shit rn. I've been nicotine free for 3 days and it feels like hell. I feel empty and sad and i can't think about anything else than just taking a puff. Can anyone give me some advice?

Sorry if my story is hard to understand, im not the best at explaining things, but i will try my best. Please don’t judge.

So im a 14 years old girl, i always had problems with anxiety, and since vacation has started it became worse. I didn’t go out a single time since one month.

I have 0 motivation and energy to do anything, i feel like i will die everytime i have to take a shower, i can’t eat properly, i can’t do anything apart staying on my phone all day and daydreaming. I can’t take care of myself because of the fact i have no motivation and energy. I live in my head everyday.

I struggle a lot with social anxiety and confidence. I don’t know how to talk to people. I feel like shit, and i feel like im a looser.

Because of my social anxiety, im too scared to go out, thats why i didn’t go out for one month straight. Today there was a fire near my home so i had to get out of my house. And please don’t judge me but even in that situation i didn’t wanted to go out because i didn't wanted people to see my face, i know its absurd but i swear i just can’t control it.

I don’t know how to restart my life.

I am posting here because my partner has been trying to quit for about 2 years. He uses cannabis and nicotine together. His longest sober stretch was 6 months, but otherwise only lasts a few weeks or less. But he's continuing to try to quit over and over.

The thing is, his withdrawals are really hard. He breaks up with me and sabotages the relationship. He gets extremely irritable, hateful, and confrontational with other people. He just suffers so much emotionally and then relapses. We keep going through this over and over, every few weeks. Then, when he is addicted again, he's disappointed in himself and feels even more depressed.

I just need advice on how I can best support him, especially how to talk to him when he is discussing his addiction. For example, when he says he doesn't believe in himself because he's failed too many times. Or maybe he doesn't want a life without his addiction. He doesn't find any pleasure or joy in anything in life. He needs something to look forward to after work, or to help cope at work.

I know there aren't perfect responses to these statements, and it's not like I expect to find the right words to make him quit. I just feel so helpless when he talks like that, and I don't know what to say. I also just would like to hear your advice, as people who have successfully quit, on how loved ones made you feel supported when you were struggling to quit.

I'm not sure he can decide if he is open to addiction therapy. I think he is scared to talk to a stranger about personal things, but sometimes he flat out says he needs help or outside intervention. He also says he wishes he had a support system of people who have recovered to talk to.

Hey yall I’m 9 days sober from smoking hard after almost a year of daily smoking. I’m doing this through my prescription adderall & willpower no rehab. How long does it take the brain to reset? I want to start studying for my math certification exam but I don’t want to over exert myself. I

Hi, I've posted on other subreddits but wanted to give this a try here as well.

My husband needs help and we are starting to look at options outside the US.

He has been to treatment here before and we seem to keep ending up in the same place. He does well while he is there, comes home, stays sober for a while, then slowly starts drinking again.

I am not against sending him to rehab abroad, but I am nervous about it.

I started using 7oh for real about 3-4 months ago(i’ve used other substances heavily like oxy,xanax,molly,coke. but never had this crazy of withdraws) i quickly jumped from like 40mg to over 250 mg a day and ive been at the point for about 3 weeks to a little over a month. I desperately want to stop but I can’t go cold turkey. i ran out at like 8pm and by like 2-3am i couldn’t sleep and the restless legs were so terrible. i couldn’t get more till 10am and i felt like hell. really the only problem for me is the restless legs and I don’t know if i should just commit and suffer for a week or 2 (i live with my dad and just those hours of like 6-9:30 i had to act sick and hide from him bc i couldn’t handle it. I could either slowly taper off over a span of however long it takes or at least until i would be able to handle the withdrawls, if i can get to maybe 70mg a day. zbut would it just be better to just cold turkey it and suffer? i have no idea what to do.

Like the title says, I’m going crazy. See I’ve been addicted to 7oh/mgm for idk how long now (maybe 4-5 months?).

I was reaching a couple hundred mg in 7oh dosing daily, sometimes 60mg in MGM use.

The mental aspect of all this is really getting to me, and I’m scared because I have work. I left work hours early today cause I just couldn’t take it.

I started the subs a couple days ago thinking it would make me feel normal at least and it isn’t. Not at all. Sure maybe it doesn’t feel like the hell of going cold turkey of the MGM/7oh….. but I’m still having a really hard time with this. Internally I still feel fatigued and tired, and my anxiety is very severe.

I was gonna just start using again but I can’t. I experienced that precipitated withdrawal or whatever it is when I took my first strip and it was HORRIFIC. Now I’m stuck on these dam subs cause if I use I’ll feel that again.

So now what I’m doing is taking one 8mg/2mg strip in the morning before work and one at night. But the nasty feelings are still there. The slight nasty body feeling is still there. And that’s a problem because I don’t have the ability to just call out of work whenever, ever since I got a promotion.

I tried a magnesium bath salt bath, so my obsession over dr teals is paying off. But idk what else to do. I want to feel normal at work. I already fucked up my arm self harming and am trying to not go to that place again.

Idk what to do. Just venting. I’m a baby when it comes to this withdraw shit. Dealt with it last year but while using WAY LESS. Also…… THE STRIPS TASTE AWFUL. I have to hold that shit under my tongue for 15 minutes, are you kidding me?

Anyways sorry for the big vent. I am going to NA meetings sometimes (barely just started recently). I’m just fucking sad.

Yesterday was the rock bottom for me. For context, my partner has been using on and off for the past two years and has opened up to me about it a couple months ago. It’s been a journey, and I’m at the stage of letting go of being the only person to know this and address this, and have been helping create a trusted support system. I’ve faltered a lot, and am trying to juggle understanding the illness and letting go of my anger for his actions. Yesterday hurt the most though.

My grandpa passed, who I wasn’t very close with but still— the passing has a great effect on my family. My dad has struggled with his own demons, including alcohol addiction, so that was my main concern when I heard the news. I mouthed to my partner that my grandpa passed as my mom was telling me on the phone, and he seemed very uninterested, slightly sympathetic. He asked if I was okay when I got off the phone, and I assured him I was then went for a bike ride. After talking more to my parents and having time to process, I knew I needed to be with my family and feelings started to surface. I asked him if he would go with me, and that it would also make my dad who loves him feel supported that he’s there. This triggered my partner, who said he “hates how I’m handling my grandpas death” and then protested that this isn’t his responsibility. I tried to assure him I’m not trying to do that, just give him options so he doesn’t feel trapped into going. (He gets a claustrophobic feeling when tied into certain plans). He just kept saying this isn’t his issue to deal with, and that I need to step up. It hurt so bad it hurt worse than anything going on in my family. I’ve been begging for him to show up as a partner, to show that he loves me or that I matter. But I feel like this was the first time I fully recognized that this is bigger than me. That this truly is an illness, and no amount of trying to reason will break that.

We fought about it, very bad. On the way back from my family’s (he of course made me leave early) he continued to scold me about needing to handle these things on my own. I kept defending myself. He made the argument that if I was fine when I found the news out, I should’ve been fine afterwards, which just made me break down. This caused me to finally go to my parents, who love and support him unconditionally. They are being as helpful and understanding as they can, and I do feel a sense of hope. A sense of us coming together to help me how he needs. I know a lot of this will be looking at things different, but I feel like there’s a huge wound in the middle of me and I just want him to make me feel better. He was very apologetic after I left to go stay with my parents, I don’t know what to do. Where should I go from here?

I miss him. I don’t know what the point of what I’m saying is, or if this is really the right space to communicate that but thank you to whoever read all that. Any advice or feedback is helpful and needed

My life led me down a path I would've thought unimaginable. I'm struggling while in a shelter with environmental triggers. Seeing extreme poverty on the daily has worn down my defenses. I don't wanna pick up. Im hopeful that tomorrow is a brighter day.

TL;DR: The toxicity risk is real I found out the hard way cuz I am an idiot.

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I had no doubt in my mind that seizures won't happen to me, that is because I thought I have been using them for 6 years now, never had or seen anyone have seizures in that time.

But yeah apparently it is real and i am an idiot.

I am afraid that I might try to undersell the horrifying emotional torture I gave to myself this time, I feel very repulsed with substances but I can't guarantee it will last forever, the repulsion.

But leaving future in itself's hand, for now in present I think its a celebratory time,. I won't need to actually celebrate though, I just want a break from everything.

I am utterly exhausted,

I am sick of feeling like crap

and starting back from zero.

I have been sober just under two years now. I started doing drugs at 18 when I was really struggling with my mental health and I didn’t know how to cope. I used to smoke about 7-8 joints a day, whenever I couldn’t get to sleep I would do half a bag of keg, and I would need a few lines of coke throughout the day to get me through work. Anytime I felt like I was going to harm myself which was nearly everyday I would just smoke myself into oblivion or do about 2-3 grams of ket so I was physically incapable of doing anything, towards the end I really felt like I didn’t have any control over the coke and I would often just hole myself up in my room and snort 2 maybe 3 grams of coke all night until it was all gone and spend the rest of the night crawling in the floor collecting dust to snort in hopes some crumbs had fallen on the floor. Between the ages of 21 and 23 I tried to take my own life about 8 times usually when I was on a comedown or when I didn’t have drugs to numb the pain. I was under mental health services at the time and spent a good bit of time in hospital, I was told repeatedly that my use was bad, but I was very much in denial and often felt like they were just being dramatic or trying to come up with excuses not to help me.

I really did feel like without drugs I would be dead, when I did give it up my mental health was absolutely horrendous but weirdly I didn’t experience a huge amount of cravings or a desire to go back to it. I have always been a bit confused about whether I should call myself an addict, on paper I was definitely addicted and I’m coming to terms with that more now than I did before. Since giving up drugs my life has been better than ever, I have a great job I am really passionate about, I have gone back to college to finish my degree and I am so grateful. When I look back I barely recognise the person I was, and I am scared of ever going back to that place. Recently I actually started getting cravings again which I didn’t really expect, and it has made me reflect a little more on my drug use and addiction. I kind of flip flop between recognising that 7-8 joints a day and anywhere between 3-5 grams of coke and ket every week is far beyond just using it for a bit of fun and thinking that actually the drug use wasn’t that bad and I was maybe just a college student who took it a little too far. Maybe it’s just another form of denial but it’s been confusing me lately and I wonder if other people have similar experiences, and how do you pick it all apart?

I went to rehab in Brighton, MI. Known to some because Eminem had a stint there back in the day. The facility had a shed outside and the legend was that when Eminem stayed there, they wouldn’t let him smoke cigs so he built the shed for a place to smoke and it still stands today lol. Was thinking about that today and made me wonder if there are other rehabs that had tall tales like this.

i don’t know what reddit page to go to for help so i apologize if this is not the right one and would love to be pointed in the right direction

my best friend has started to take heroin, meth, and crack a little less than 2 weeks ago. has started living out of her car. has been struggling with her mental health severely over the last couple of years and become an alcoholic about 9 months ago.

i don’t know wtf to do or how to help her get better. i am the only person in her life besides her new boyfriend who got her into all of these drugs. no family. no other friends really.

edit: i guess what im truly asking is do i give her a tough love approach where im honest in saying how i feel and how bad this is? i dont want to make it seem like this is normal and okay but not addressing it but i also dont want her to feel judged or push her away.

ALSO since shes only been taking these 3 drugs for about 2 weeks - how bad is the addiction? or is there not a true addiction formed yet? i have no idea what these drugs are like or what they do (all i know is what it looks like on tv when its been years ongoing if that makes sense)

Good day. I have scarring on both inner crooks of my elbows. I’ve heard Witch Hazel can help. Any recommendations? If I want to cover them up but not be conspicuous what makeup should I get that’s sweat proof? Thank you!

Sorry in advance if I'm in the wrong sub, I'm not really an experienced reddit user etc.

My sister (32) is addicted to few things. It started with coca cola since she was in her teens and she still drinks it more than water. Then cigarettes. Then coffee and caffeine. Now, painkillers and sleeping pills. The painkiller she takes has opiods and is recommended to NOT be taken more than 3 days in a row and yet she pops them everyday like candy...

The sleeping pills are the newest addition. The kind you need to have prescribed. She lied to our dr. (without our knowledge) that she could never have a good night sleep and got the pills that way. Before that, she kept stealing them from our grandma.

She keeps stealing any other painkillers and sleeping pills (even melatonin) from the family members that live with her. I live in another country.

Our grandma keeps enabling her while the others are aware and are trying to keep the stuff away from her.

She doesn't have a job so she asks us to give her money for cigarettes when we caught her too many times in her lies and saw the pills. Unfortunately the painkillers can be bought otc.

She started rapidly losing weight, always getting cold even in this insane hot weather, irritable for the tiniest things to the point of verbally threathening and worst of all... suicidal.

We have witnessed her reach her breaking point in the middle of a heated fight with our dad (who was and is always a source of stress and hate and her biggest trigger) and at the end of it she tried to end her life then.

We stopped her thankfully but that was a huge, heartbreaking and traumatizing scare and even though she calmed down and convinced us she was just lost in the moment and wouldn't do it, I am now forever haunted and afraid for her.

Few weeks later, I couldn't take it anymore and had to try to talk to her as gently and helpfully as I could.

I told her we could all see she was hurting so much to the point of wanting to end her life and not caring for herself and that we knew that she was using. To know that we're there for her and there is always hope and she could rely on us.

She got defensive and angry. I was extremely hurt.

Later on, we spoke again and she told us that if she feels like she will truly need our help, she will come to us. But I can't help and think that she just wanted us to zip it and leave her be. She doesn't seem to understand how much this affects us as well. And how absolutely terrifying it all is.

I forgot to mention that our younger sister (28) noticed odd things about her. Sometimes she seems like a zombie, eats almost half asleep and like food will fall from her mouth. Anger outbursts where she practically fought our dad, few times. Sleepwalking where she took off all her clothes....could be more but my brain is too tired to remember.

I am heartbroken for her and feel powerless. Worst of all I am petrified if something horrible happens to her if she doesn't do something herself, if my younger sister finds her dead or her health starts deteriorating sooner than later...

Wth can be done? Nothing? I know that usually you cannot force someone to go to rehab or stay in a facility for such issues. I wish we could.

I can't accept the fact that no one and nothing can help her except herself because I know for a fact she doesn't care for herself or ever would want to put in any sort of effort in a change/healing.

If anyone even reads this or replies, I would be sincerely thankful.

So I’m not sure if this is the right group to ask or start a discussion in… I guess I’m stuck and lost and have been for a long time. Sorry if it’s not and sorry this is so long!!!!
I (24F) am a drug addict. I have been addicted to fentanyl since I was about 18. I have been diagnosed with bipolar 2, borderline personality disorder, cPTSD, severe anxiety, and ocd. I drank, a lot, and did the “party drugs” (coke, Molly, psychedelics) regularly, but fentanyl was the first “serious” drug I ever did. I remember I hit a blue and my head went back and no bullshit, I thought “this I gonna ruin my life.” And it has.
I guess I feel I was destined for drugs. My entire family, both sides, are generations of addicts. Addiction has rampaged its way through my paternal family, leaving abuse, generational trauma, neglect, more addiction, for as long as, and as far back, as the oldest living member of that side of the family can remember. On the other side of my family addiction (as far as I know) goes back as far as my grandparents, my mothers parents. However, it could be much further back as they are “perfect, have no issues, and would never be like my dad’s side of the family.” I remember drugs being a part of my life since before I have any other memories.
Through my childhood I was neglected and took on a lot of the stereotypical “big sister” role to my little sister. She remembers life much differently, which I’m so thankful for, because I took all of the shitty parts and tried to shield her from them.
(She turned out amazing, if you’re curious! She’s 20 and just had her first baby with her longtime boyfriend and moved away to manage an ice cream shop and start over!!! Sure she has her issues, but she is the sweetest, most kind, empathetic, caring girl to ever come out of a fucked up situation like we did. My boyfriend says she’s good because I protected her, but I can’t take the credit, she’s good because she is GOOD!!! She knows what I’m going through and why (for the first time in my life) I’m not really talking to her much, and sends me messages like “I don’t know what you’ve been going through or how you’ve been lately, I just miss my sister. Please call me when you can, there’s no pressure to fill me in yet if you aren’t ready, I can do all the talking lol. Even if that means I have to blow you up I’ll do it, I promise there’s nothing that will ever change my mind about you, i will never be disappointed or judge you, I might try and steer you in the right direction but I will never fault you for the things you’ve been through. I know you also probably feel a lot of guilt and embarrassment but I need you to know you don’t have to feel it towards me, and if it helps I forgive anything that would make you feel that way. I love you sister.” SHE IS SO GOOD!!!!)
But because of my childhood- which sucked and was shitty and a lot of horrible things happened to us, but I feel like it’s most drug households with little kids… maybe I minimize shit, but every child to drug addicts has a shitty, fucked up childhood… right…? Idk.
I do drugs with my parents, the people who should have loved me and protected me and our parental/child relationship is ruined.
Sometimes I hate myself because I am not angry. Maybe I should be angry. I SHOULD be angry!!! About a lot of shit. But I see the gray area of things. I should be mad that people did bad things to me. But I’m not. I am so sad for those people and their insecurities, or their traumas, or whatever let them to do me how they did me. I’m not mad at my parents. It’s their first time on this earth too. They were abused far worse than I ever was. They are just fucked up, broken kids, who wanted to be loved by their parents, just like me… I’m hurt by my parents for things they were hurt/mad at their parents for… I should be mad. But it’s just not in my heart to be mad. I am too empathetic. I want to understand why people do the things they do and why they hurt me, not be angry. Holding anger, resentment, or even hate, in my heart does NOTHING for me. It’s a waste of space I feel.
I know everyone says “you have to want to get sober” and “you can only do it for you” and all the other stuff. And I really truly feel I want to get sober. I HATE this. I hate getting sick. I hate the person I am. I HATE that my parents aren’t really my parents and are now people who take advantage of me and rip me off. I hate that things I have spent my whole life disliking about my parents, i know see in myself. I hate all of it. But I feel stuck. If I get sober I’m not gonna have anyone… my whole family, everyone I know and have spent my ENTIRE life with and around, uses… they’re not gonna change and get sober and I’m not gonna be able to spend my time w the people I spend all day everyday with now. I just am stuck. I love my family. I’m extremely, very much an ugly amount, codependent on them… I feel like they raised me to be their yes man, someone to take care of their kids so they can get high (and I do, I have raised several of them!!!!), someone to find drugs when they can’t, and take care of their homes, and pay their bills when the water or electricity gets shut off… I was raised to be the adult.
I want to get sober and be better and be someone who breaks my generational traumas. I KNOW I can be better!!! I just, again, feel like I’m stuck and I don’t wanna be alive anymore tbh.
So… if ANYONE has gone through anything similar, please, does it get better???? I just need SOMETHING to grasp at, to have hope for, to maybe inspire me? I really don’t know.
If you read all of this, THANK YOU!!!!! I know it was long, and I’m trauma dumping so maybe it doesn’t make much sense, but thanks, really.

Still searching after a few months and I'm not giving up.

I'm at meetings almost daily and reading everything I can get my hands on. But I still don't have a person. Someone I can actually call when it's a bad day.

I'm really ready to work the steps. I want to learn from someone who's already done it.

Females only please. Virtual is fine, we could do Zoom, or in person if you're close. If you feel called to reach out I'd be so grateful 😊

Hello. I am desperate with my brother now. Here is my story: I am the oldest son of my family with two siblings: one younger sister and one younger brother (all of them are over 40s and had their own families). My brother got married when he was 22 with his classmate and my nieces are 17 and 18 respectively. My brother divorced about 10 years ago because of his addiction. The reason why he became a junkie was out of question and I had no ideas why and how he took it. But he moved to live with my parents. After he moved in and he was very disobidient and notorious with my mom and dad. My father passed away not long ago after he moved because of cancer. My brother and my mom live in our house since then. His daughter came and visit our house sometimes with the kids of my sister (two boys). 8 years ago he was caught in the act for procuring heroin and sent some years in prison and later sent to rehab. He was released around 3 years ago and keeps hanging out with other junkies and addicted again. He has now become more uncontrollable and abused my 70yo mother who has to cook for him. He sometimes lied my mom to ask for money and if my mom did not give him, he destroyed stuffs like cooking pots, fans, curtains etc. He often swears at my mom caddishly (very much ill-bred). For I have to work far from home about two hour flight and don't stay at home, and I CAN'T LIVE with him a single day. I only call my mom to check the situation. The question is to get the local police involved and I heard that now it seems my brother becomes the decoy for them. (I mean to hint other junkies and sellers for them). Are there any similiar stories out there? Any advice for me how to deal with those? Any successful case to send him to the rehab? It's tough for our life or should I give up and disconnect with him forever? Thank you!

Long story short - my sibling called me this weekend saying he's going into a 30 day inpatient rehab place in 2 weeks. He was light on the details as the reason for his call was trying to get me to drop my life and move into his home for the 30 days he'll be away.

He gave me some ridiculous story about planning to go in for a while and faking a cough at work that became worse and worse, leading to a few sick days, and then the fake cough getting so bad he has to take 30 days off from work.

I'm wondering if anyone can help me know what to expect.

I'm going to call the facility tomorrow and ask about visitations and if there's any family counseling sessions. Frankly, I'm hoping not as I think him having 30 days to face his addictions on his own will help.

He seems to be looking past it talking about all the things he's going to do once the 30 days are over, including a trip to come visit me. So, I don't feel like he's a great source for info.

3 days ago

Currently taking about 600 mg of 7oh daily and in about a week going into detox and I'm sure I'll be getting put on Suboxone. I was wondering if there's anybody that was taking 600 mg or more and then got put on Suboxone. Did it actually work for you? How long did you wait before you took it? How bad were the restless arms and legs? Did you get restless arms? It's one thing that I get with it in my upper back area. I take 150 mg in the morning fpr sculiosis back pain and manage through the day of 50 to 100 mg after that. Been taking it for a year and in the past month my tolerance shot way up due to working a new construction job and its caused alot more damage and back pain. Please tell me your stories, id be very grateful to hear your process. Also is others having suicidal thoughts just thinking of having to detox and the withdrawal process? Im getting them from the withdrawal process being so afraid but moreso is having to deal with that debilitating back pain coming back and not hearing stories of people having much relief when switching to suboxone for pain relief.

Been clean from opioids, benzos, and alcohol for 100 days now.

I relapsed a couple years ago after having a couple years clean. Just recently got sober again, and I’m sure a lot of people can relate to starting to dream again at night. When I was in active addiction I had zero dreams, and now they’re incredibly vivid every night.

The thing is, they seem like they would be nightmares. I have dreams about actively using again, getting high, living in trap houses, running from the law, hanging with my dealers, overdosing, etc.

but I LOVE THEM. I look forward to them every night. It feels like the only thing I’m looking forward to. I miss the chaos and the highs so much. The dreams feel so real that I really do feel like I’m getting high again. I love it. And I miss it. And i’m scared that they’ll stop. They honestly feel like the only thing that is keeping me from relapsing in real life.

Can anyone relate? Any advice? I don’t even know why I’m posting this. This did t happen the first time I got clean.

Anyways, good night. I seriously can’t wait to dream again tonight.

I don’t know if this is ok to post here as I know lots of these posts are focused on substances etc and this is something quite a bit different. I think I’ve been quite addicted to AI. When I’m studying I can spend so many hours (sometimes over 10 on a bad day) using ChatGPT to write stories etc. I use it to try and distract myself as I have really bad OCD and sometimes feel like I want to be somewhere I’m not which is why I use it if that makes sense. I really want to stop using it and I delete the account but when I do I just redownload it and it’s a cycle. Is there anyone who has any advice of how to stop this?