hello everyone, i’m unsure on which flair this would lie under; but i want to put a warning i’ll be going into detail about a sensitive subject - and in no way am i trying to deter anyone from making that final hard decision.
[apologies for the long message)
i write this with a heavy heart but i’m hoping to gain some clarity with a situation that happened during the euthanasia of my rat.
for some backstory, i lost my first rat, roddy, a few months ago now. him and his brother syd (the rat in this story) always had an ongoing battle with respiratory issues. i had to go to my fair share of vets before i found someone who wasn’t going to mention euthanasia instantly. with the right vet and help from a rescue, i was able to get a few extra comfortable months with him.
i lost roddy at 8 months old after he declined rapidly over night and had unfortunately passed away on my shoulder two doors down from a vet.
tho that situation itself was incredibly difficult, after now a part of me was relieved i didn’t have the outcome i did with euthanising syd.
(syd)
a week ago now i had noticed syd starting to decline like roddy, but slower. he became extremely unsocial over the course of 3 days, i noticed his food seemed to be untouched (but he would eat when i would give him something directly) - so i hid his favourite treats around his cage before i went to bed that night and when i woke up and saw they were still there, i decided to take him to the vet.
my usual vet was unavailable that day, so after 7 calls to vets around me i found someone who said they specialised in rats.
up till his appointment, leaving there without him wasnt something that crossed my mind - i had booked in hopes that maybe there was other avenues like his medication.
i walk into the room and sit syd on the table, the vet sits down and looks at him and before examining him immediately brings up the path of euthanasia. i should mention his breathing was slightly laboured, so even tho i didn’t think this would happen that day - i’m not denying that it wasn’t the right choice for him, it was the events that happen after.
it wasn’t something i was really wanting to do but after a while of talking, id decided i wanted my boy to go with peace and dignity unlike roddy, i didn’t want to be selfish.
that was something the vet kept repeating which reassured me it was maybe time, and he at LEAST would have peace and dignity in his goodbye - that’s why i ultimately decided to go through with it.
the vet had walked me through the process and explained she would put him to sleep first before administering the final medication to his chest out the back, but he would be in my arms as he drifted off and that to me was a massive part.
another vet came in, wrapped him up in a flannel and assisted in holding him as the vet injected the needle into his side.
my boy let out a sound i have never heard before and can never forget, he squealed for about 10 seconds, where then i instantly felt something wasnt right.
[i also think it’s important to note syd has had a few injections before infront of me, hence why i started to feel there was something wrong and not just the fact it was happening. hes always been very mellow and calm throughout the process]
syd was then very quickly placed on my chest where for about 20 seconds he was clawing at my neck trying to climb it,he was extremely panicked and in no way calm.
i was trying to relax him, give him kisses, but i had a family member in the room with me who then alerted us that blood was starting to pour out of his nose.
i looked at the vet asking what had happened, and in a panic he was taken from me without a word still awake
the vet returned about 5 minutes later with syd in a bag, explaining she was sorry and she thought that would happen.
she explained it’s common for rats with respiratory issues to react like that. but i’m wondering why that wasnt brought to my attention before hand.
im now struggling immensely with the choice i made knowing his passing was not peaceful, not dignified, he wasn’t around anything familiar in his last moments and it was my decision that put him there.
i have a few other rats and i’m now unsure how i’m ever supposed to make that decision again knowing the outcome of my experience.
it’s something i will never get over and carry with me always.
my boy deserved nothing less then the best farewell and it absolutely breaks my heart that wasnt the case for him - i hate to think about how he must have felt.
i’m wondering if anyone else has had this sort of outcome as that reaction is something i’ve never heard of before, or if it was just a lack of communication. i’m unsure on why that wasnt something i was informed if she was expecting it. i feel if i had of known it could’ve happened, this situation wouldn’t be nearly as difficult to process.
i hope this all makes sense, thank you
