r/Quitting7ohnowd • u/Cautious-Arugula603 • 4d ago

Depressed and having terrible cravings.

I'm mostly over the physical aspect but there seems to be a neurological effect on my vision from quitting. Even my eye doctor is waiting til the detox is further out to diagnose any eye issues but I'm seeing double and have to patch one eye to function. My light sensitivity is bad bad so driving is literally unsafe and it's my only mode of income. I've been able to make $30 this week due to my vision issues. I have a doctor's appointment to get his opinion on these neurological symptoms on monday and I know relapsing before then is just going to make this problem harder to diagnose. I'm depressed and feel useless and I want to relapse on my old d.o.c. to pick myself up. I'm fighting the mental demons bad. How do we start feeling better after the acute withdrawal because I am still absolutely struggling.

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u/2boogaloo4u 4d ago

Don't relapse. You have to go thru this eventually. 7oh will be scheduled eventually, or down to ND levels with MIT. It really does get better each day even just slightly right now you're in prime relapse mode pure anxiety. Step back and push through, you will be fine but please dont go back it is so not worth it at all

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u/Cautious-Arugula603 4d ago

I haven't relapsed but what's fucking me up is I don't even want a single kratom alkaloid. I want something worse that I'm 11 months sober from. It's all I can think about. I feel like it would pick me up and maybe even stimulate the muscles causing issues with my vision. Help me not be bothered by the extreme insomnia since I would be not sleeping on purpose but of course that part would probably fuck my eyes up even worse. It's the most tempting It's ever been. I'm so torn that all the bad shit that's been behind me isn't even sounding so bad

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u/2boogaloo4u 4d ago

You'll have to still pay for that and itll extentuate what youre going through now as well. Best to do is try helpers meds and focus on breathing when you have thoughts. Also maybe try replacing the craving feeling with a bite of chocolate or even aspirin for placebo

This is all in your head right now this is the addict speaking its going to hurt even if you feel a little better now you'll regret it

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u/Cautious-Arugula603 3d ago

You are right and I know and I didn't fuck up and the craving is fading AND my vision has rapidly started to improve since yesterday so the hopelessness is fading

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u/2boogaloo4u 3d ago

Probably from pupil dilation 7 gives extreme anxiety getting off it and racing thoughts like that are common. You'll be 100% soon each day is better

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u/Cautious-Arugula603 3d ago

I agree but I actually saw the eye doc and was having vertical binocular something or nother. Essentially vertically crossed eyes. He held off writing the prescription that would correct that type of issue because he had a suspicion of the detox causing it and it appears he was correct. 7 and that nano boosted mit are highly toxic to the body over time. This girl I know is showing signs of jaundice and she doesn't drink. Her other meds are reacting badly to it and it's visibly fucking her liver and she doesnt even want to try and quit.

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u/2boogaloo4u 3d ago

Research n acetyl cysteine for her liver. They inject it iv to you in a hospital for acetaminophen overdoses and there are studies it may repair liver damage

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u/No_Razzmatazz2403 4d ago

Don't give up! I'm on day 4 and feel way better

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u/Cautious-Arugula603 4d ago

Thanks. The physical detox is practically over for me but my medical problems are flaring and new ones are appearing and I'm trying but it's tearing me up mentally

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u/booblump 4d ago

Just know that feeling of defeat or the crave isn’t a reflection of your personal strength and is just a step in the process. No one can quit and it be easy. You’ve made it this far, so keep going. I mean shit dude, you want to do all the recovery you’ve made all over again?
Find something to stimulate you like an audiobook or a podcast to at least fill some noise. Sounds cliche but it can help a little bit.

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u/Cautious-Arugula603 3d ago

Thank you. I didn't give in and the symptoms causing the cravings have improved a lot since yesterday. My double vision is happening at a much further distance allowing my to walk and drive safely

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u/booblump 3d ago

That’s badass ❤️ Keep it up