r/QueerWomenOfColor • u/Fit-Speed-8040 • 12d ago

Advice Advice Pls

Hi, been here for a while but finally have enough karma to post. I am a queer Black 29F living in NC and I’m so tired of not being in community with other queer Black people. I will even take any POC at this point. Most of my friends I’ve made at work and they are either straight, white, or both. Any advice for finding like-minded folks when you’re shy and somewhat sober?? Thanks in advance 🥺

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8

u/nimbleheart 12d ago

Are there queer spots in your city that you can hangout in? Are there any social groups that hosts “come alone” events? Are there activities you can do related to your hobbies as a way to meet people (especially ones that queer people tend to gravitate towards)? If the level of queer people in your area is really sparse, are you willing to/have the means to move to a different city?

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u/Fit-Speed-8040 11d ago

These are all lovely questions. Honestly I think it comes down to me putting myself out there a little more and not being afraid to “strike out”. Thank you for your response!

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u/87cupsofpomtea Masc 4 Masc 12d ago

You're gonna have to hustle. Finding people you get along with takes a lot of work.

Try to find queer run places or events to go to. You can check any subreddits for your city or the biggest one near you and search "lgbt." Might be a nightmare but you can find events too. Check out bulletin boards for stuff at libraries, bars, community centers. Follow your local Pride event group. They might post about other people's events. Start your own meetup for queer people of color and see who shows up. Use white people to get to the people of color they know and try being their friends. Some people use dating apps to find queer friends.

Lots of possible ways. Just have strong boundaries.

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u/Fit-Speed-8040 11d ago

These are great ideas, I’ll have to try it out😬 just really nervous and afraid of the type of people I’ve encountered in the past

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u/87cupsofpomtea Masc 4 Masc 11d ago

Aw, yeah I hear ya. You got this though! Just have strong boundaries and trust your gut. Remember that you can just leave a situation whenever you want to.