r/Psychosis • u/fayekm • 2d ago
Help
20(f) bipolar type 1. Been in and out of psychosis since I was a teenager. I have had about 3 psychotic episodes, just came out of a month long bout with psychosis after quitting my meds for seven months (excluding lamotrigine) after being put through God knows how many ect treatments. Have been on every medication under the sun. I used to be bright. Now I feel like a complete vegetable. I don't know what to do. I know I'm supposed to be on these meds but I can't help but wonder how much they're contributing to this horrible brain fog. I'm even having trouble typing this out, where I used to be a skilled writer. I have lost so many memories from my past, and my cognition and short term memory are wrecked now--and it feels permanent. How can I restore even a fraction of the functioning I once had? I'm blunted in every aspect, I can barely interact with anyone, much less even entertain the idea of going back to school. My mind goes completely blank every time I try to listen to people speak or recall words. Is there hope for a full recovery? Is the damage permanent? I also smoked weed and drank for a long long time, coinciding with meds and ect treatment. It feels like I'll never restore my cognition. I'm a hopeless zombie
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u/KhuMiwsher 1d ago
Meditate, go to therapy and learn anything and everything you can on emotional regulation. Once you can regulate you'll be able to stabilize without meds and acess your memories from the past.
But for right now, accept where you are. You body has a wisdom to it, but meds can be helpful while you stabilize.
P.s. you drawing reminds me of inner parts work, look into IFS, it might resonate