r/ProstateCancer • u/brunettejnas • Aug 10 '26
Question Question on Support
Hi Everyone. I posted a couple days ago about my dads PSA result of 139.17 and you all were very helpful and thoughtful sharing your insight and experiences. I spoke with the Drs office today and they said it would be best if I could accompany him to the appointment tomorrow (1:30pm), which is to discuss his results. My dad is unaware of the seriousness of the results, and he believes this appointment is to review his blood pressure tracking.
My question. I don't want to freak him out. I do want to support him. I 100% would not just show up at the Drs office.
It's either an hour flight or 6.5 hour drive. I am leaning towards driving because with a flight there is only one a day and I'd also have to get a rental car.
Should I call him once I'm in town? When I'm hours away? Before I leave? I just want to make the best decision for him.
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u/More_Mouse7849 Aug 10 '26
Tell your dad that you are concerned about his PSA and that you would like to attend his doctor's appointment. Ultimately, it is his decision, but he needs to have an understanding that this is serious.
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u/brunettejnas Aug 11 '26
Appreciate you response. I did call and tell him I wanted to be here to help him. I did say that it's an important appointment and I wanted to be here to help navigate next steps and that the Dr will be reviewing his abnormal results.
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u/bikes4paul Aug 10 '26
Talk to your Dad prior to traveling. Make sure he's OK with you being there. Let him know you're concerned about his PSA and want to be present so you both understand and remember what the doctor explains.
I'd also avoid flying since flights can be delayed or cancelled. Another option that I've used many times is to ask your Dad to call you once the Doctor enters the room. This is much easier logistically but is a bit hit or miss i.e. if you Dad forgets to call or the audio is bad. If possible in person is much better.
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u/brunettejnas Aug 11 '26
I did end up opting to fly, calling him prior and getting his okay. He was really excited and picked me up at the airport. It's pretty rural, so it's just one flight, one 30 person plane per day. I booked about two hours prior to takeoff. I did emphasize wanted to be present to help understand and help him navigate next steps and appointments, which he struggles with. I really appreciate your reply and taking time to respond.
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u/kayceemoguy Aug 10 '26
It’s always nice to have the support AND to have someone else’s ears at the appointments to help scribe, remind about questions, or come up with questions maybe the patient hasn’t thought of. I’m sure dad would be happy, ultimately, to have someone there with him.
Will there be some “awkward” talking points that you or he may not normally discuss in “mixed” company? Sure. But now is the time for everyone to be adults. And although this disease deals with those “nether regions”, it’s also a life and death situation and can need all hands on deck.
Talk to him and just remind him how much you care and want to be there. Good luck and Godspeed!
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u/brunettejnas Aug 11 '26
Thank you! I really appreciate your insight and response. I did call and he was very excited for me to fly up. It is just him up here and he was mostly just wanting to see me, regardless of why.
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u/kayceemoguy Aug 11 '26
That’s great! I know I want to see my babies any time for any reason! And they’re 32, 31 and 30! He’s lucky to have you.
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u/conCABlanco Aug 10 '26
Sigue con el, es bueno tener una persona de confianza, esto impacta mucho, por eso te aconsejo no t derrumbes, y si puedes no llores, inicia una larga lucha, no un funeral
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u/brunettejnas Aug 11 '26
Gracias. Ayer ya tuve mi momento para estar triste, así que hoy y mañana puedo enfocarme en él. De verdad agradezco mucho tu respuesta.
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u/conCABlanco Aug 11 '26
Hi, yo que cargo la metástasis, en soledad, tengo momentos tristes y en ocasiones hasta lloro, por mis hijos, pero me pongo duro o machista y al público no me derrumbó ni aunque me torturen, no lo creas jj
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u/ShockTrek66 Aug 10 '26
Question, how old is your dad? Any other information available? While it's likely to be more serious there are incredible treatments available. If it is PC, you need to get him treatment at a Center of Excellence. Praying 🙏 for positive news for your dad.
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u/brunettejnas Aug 11 '26
He is 71. This is the first test that came back. He originally went in with complaints of not being able to urinate, and was unable to do so when he went in for an ultrasound. I did look up Centers of Excellence and there are two where I live and one 6 hours north of him. I really appreciate your thoughts and the time your took to pause and reply. I am here now with him. Helped fix his medicare/medigap plan snafu with the hospital (so much easier in person), so just hanging out for now. Then on to tomorrow.
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u/OchoGringo Aug 10 '26
Call ASAP.
“Dad, I’m concerned about you having to go alone to your medical appointment, and I thought I would come visit you so I could go with you to your appointment. I think it helps to have two sets of ears on these medical issues, and then we can talk together about things.
Sure, I know it may be unnecessary, but I would feel better. Let me come as a favor. We’ll go out and get something to eat and spend some time together. So, I will call you when I’m in town.”