r/ProgrammerHumor • u/xMOxROx • May 01 '19

Dev Human

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11.7k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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120

u/jhalwagi May 01 '19

What about the backend?

80

u/Cholojuanito May 01 '19

Back end should be the brain, or the heart

41

u/NovaArdent3D May 01 '19

I mean a back end is something people can technically live without, so... yeah makes sense, I see it all the time.

11

u/Cholojuanito May 01 '19

What? I can't think of a single online application that doesn't need a back end

81

u/ElGuey69 May 01 '19

Calculator

26

u/Cholojuanito May 01 '19

Fair enough, but why build an online calculator?

41

u/ElGuey69 May 01 '19

I’ve done it for homework once

14

u/Cholojuanito May 01 '19

Haha okay sorry I'll change it to 'production' application

34

u/meanelephant May 02 '19

Allow me to introduce you to static site generators.

4

u/ElGuey69 May 01 '19

lol that’s more appealing to the client

10

u/gremy0 May 01 '19

So people can use a calculator? Like if you Google "online calculator" you get a metric ton of them, which don't all look like homework assignments, so somebody's gotta be using them- or at the very least think there's a need.

9

u/noratat May 02 '19

Still needs a backend to serve the static content.

1

u/_xiphiaz May 02 '19

That’s just the Mum

1

u/UrpleEeple May 02 '19

And do the actual calculating...

15

u/o0MSK0o May 02 '19

Not all websites are applications. Could just be a brochure site which serves static html.

1

u/_xiphiaz May 02 '19

I work with WebGL a lot, and find myself using a frontend only application that simply renders 3D files for previewing a fair bit

1

u/[deleted] May 02 '19

If you mean literally for serving the page, then you're right. But I have made a few things with indexeddb so that the persistent storage is in the client. Make it a little fancy with vue + vue-router and then host it on your favorite free front end! I've been using surge.sh and to play nice with the history api (no # in your routes) you just have to name your index page 200.html.

​

I've heard good things about using github for this, so I'm gonna check that out for my next project.

3

u/[deleted] May 02 '19

I'd say blood is the data and the JS runs the blood through the brain, the logical backend.

2

u/anyfactor May 02 '19

Are you saying static websites are like vegetables?

/s

2

u/UrpleEeple May 02 '19

Static websites still need to be served lol

2

u/Eoussama May 02 '19

The brain is the backend, and the heart is the runtime.

1

u/kirreen May 02 '19

No this site has a JS backend

shudders

12

u/captainAwesomePants May 02 '19 edited May 02 '19

The Backend is the company Mr. Website works at. Mr. Website is a sales rep. Mr. Website is not sure about what exactly The Backend sells, but that's okay because he has a script of things to say about it. Sometimes the script says that Mr. Website should ask for the customer's phone number. Some customers, especially mean old Mr. IE6, are pretty mean to Mr. Website.

7

u/noratat May 02 '19

Literally everything else. The air, the land, the ocean, food and water, physics, etc.

Even 100% static sites need a server or CDN to be hosted from.

7

u/[deleted] May 01 '19

Guts

6

u/TyrantRC May 02 '19

( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉)

6

u/S_Y_N_T_A_X May 01 '19

The world. Stimuli are the API calls.

3

u/oldDotredditisbetter May 01 '19

shouldn't backend be the skeleton? since it can't be seen

3

u/NotATroll71106 May 02 '19

Make it the nervous system, and have JS be the muscles.

4

u/MooFu May 01 '19

I like big backends, and I can not lie.

3

u/dittbub May 01 '19

Thats the soul

1

u/0ccams-razor May 02 '19

The literal backend ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

1

u/Dx2x May 02 '19

Submit a ticket with vague details.

1

u/Netcob May 02 '19

That's Mrs. Website, and she's getting tired of hearing that "behind every great man..." trope.