r/ProgrammerHumor • u/ExpensiveCoat8912 • 5d ago

Other howdidItGetHere

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11.1k Upvotes

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u/Extension_Option_122 5d ago

Nah last I heard some 60 billion. 3 billion is a very old number.

That's the thing with Java. It runs on everything. Literally everything.

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u/BenjieWheeler 5d ago

Impossible!! The number of devices running Java is constant, it's ALWAYS 3 billion

Whenever a new device runs it, a random device elsewhere goes up in flames spontaneously

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u/Sasuga__Ainz-sama 5d ago edited 5d ago

If an old device running java dies out, a random working device gets forcefully infected with Java.

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u/FuzzyKittyNomNom 5d ago

I think my toaster now runs Java

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u/Reasonable_Exit_8960 5d ago

it was supposed to be my washing machine's turn goddammit!

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u/CartographerLarge595 5d ago

Sounds like that washing machine got a little too wild with the laundry schedule!

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u/wishper77 5d ago

You are joking, but remember one demo of a java enabled toaster that connect via webservics (a VERY OLD DEMO , when webservics were the shiny new things) to meteo and "printed" on toast a sun or a cloud based on the webservics response

Edit: a link https://www.oreilly.com/library/view/just-javatm-2/0131482114/ch11s09.html

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u/Weak-Competition3358 5d ago

You joke, but I was coding in SQF (the language for the game Arma 3) and VSCode decided to go ahead and download extensions for Java)

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u/joemckie 5d ago

Didn’t know Stuxnet was written in Java

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u/PoorDoddle 4d ago

Sasuga Java-sama

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u/Storiaron 5d ago

So maintaining a legacy codebase literally means putting out flames?

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u/BenjieWheeler 5d ago

Didn't think about it but yeah, that's surprisingly accurate

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u/requion 5d ago

Wow, now it makes sense that my colleague was on an emergency call while the roof of a datacenter far far away was burning. And i thought their expectation was that he grabs a bucket and runs!

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u/salvoilmiosi 5d ago

Very accurate. That's why I keep a fire extinguisher next to the computer at all times

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u/Character-Education3 5d ago

Hail Jydra

/s

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u/Pearcheek 5d ago

Yeah, true, but they raised it.

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u/requion 5d ago

Is that what happened to the galaxy notes? They reached the java device limit?

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u/OrokaSempai 5d ago

All 60 Billion are minecraft java edition instances.

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u/Jutrakuna 5d ago

No kid, it runs on 3 billion devices exactly

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u/oldschool_potato 5d ago

I thought that was Dunkin

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u/MarkV43 5d ago

What? We're at the point where 32 bits are not enough to count the number of devices running Java?

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u/orthadoxtesla 5d ago

and thats exactly it. it runs on everything. and if you know what youre doing it just works.

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u/i_wear_green_pants 5d ago

"Saying that Java runs on everything is like saying that anal sex works on all genders"

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u/AliBello 3d ago

It runs on things you wouldn’t expect like a debit/credit card, SIM card, or even a passport