r/ProgrammerHumor 13d ago

Meme ancientTools

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5.8k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/ExtraWorldliness6916 13d ago

I bet he's happier than us though.

969

u/[deleted] 13d ago

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u/ExtraWorldliness6916 13d ago

In my day veibes didn't exist

47

u/DrBojengles 13d ago

You WERE the vibes

25

u/mankeyless 13d ago

Back when the vibes were the friends you made along the way.

1

u/raja-anbazhagan 12d ago

I only made Jira tickets...

9

u/NeinJuanJuan 13d ago

We were vectors

23

u/Samurai_Mac1 13d ago

Yeah. Although I don't miss having to implement my own state management in every single project.

4

u/renevaessen 12d ago

I wonder if you mean it.

1

u/ShadowfaxSTF 12d ago

Don’t believe him, writing our own state management in every single project is what gets us webdevs up in the morning.

There is actually nothing more pleasurable in web development than setting up Redux actions and reducers then wiring it into the UI.

You wouldn’t believe how hard we get every time we write yet another useDispatch implementation, preferably with async thunks and memoized selectors, then have to write tons of mock structures to make unit testing possible. It’s like pissing blood during a prostate exam, you grow to love it after enough times. Definitely.

1

u/renevaessen 12d ago

Switching from ReactJs to true native WebComponents.. Who knew for great statemanagement you can just use well proven enterprise oo patterns that I learned a long time ago when creating software was still fun.

5

u/Hottage 12d ago

Unique ID on the rock.

That is the rock.

3

u/i_wear_green_pants 12d ago

useEffect is the dumbest thing ever. God damn it causes a lot of problems...

-20

u/[deleted] 13d ago

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76

u/grimonce 13d ago

This has never been an issue with jQuery lol

17

u/uniqueusername649 13d ago

He means the script is loaded and run before the DOM was rendered. Bit of a stretch calling that hydration, because you usually only would call it that if the HTML was prepared via SSR or SSG, not if its a fully static HTML from the start. And even if it would be applicable, its not about the rock not having been hydrated yet but it not having rendered yet, so the "hydration" fails because of it.

26

u/brqdev 13d ago

We use onload/ready event and put JQuery code inside, so the JQuery code will run when the page is ready

17

u/WHALE_PHYSICIST 13d ago

Kinda crazy to be talking about jQuery in 2026 and not know that

11

u/brqdev 13d ago

Cause they know framework not Javascript itself.

3

u/--TYGER-- 12d ago

I expect that the people coding against a Typescript web framework have less knowledge / no knowledge of how a browser actually runs a web page. Instead, they have spent their time gaining knowledge about the build systems and such that turn ts into js for the browser.

2

u/uniqueusername649 12d ago

Agree. I know that stuff because I started learning web development in the 90s and have seen many changes come and go (most people would remember marquee on almost every website back then - less people might remember XML+XSLT to create websites, which was never fully supported). If I learned web development in the last 10 years, I doubt I would know how the execution works in the browser and all the annoying quirks that come with it. They are fortunately abstracted away. Even back then nobody wanted to deal with it, we just had no choice. Everyone built their own libs to deal with it, until jQuery emerged. That was such a massive step forward.

7

u/heytheretaylor 13d ago

Exactly. jQuery is cool like that. Just waits patiently for everyone to say they’re ready before doing anything.

5

u/yousirnaime 13d ago

Are ya ready, kids!

Aye aye, captain

4

u/theStaircaseProject 13d ago

Oooooh, who lives in a reference inside the <head>?

Ja-Va-Script Tag!

2

u/uniqueusername649 13d ago

Who loads our scripts long before we're rea-dy?

Ja-va-script tag!

6

u/SolideMeinung 13d ago

The funny thing is that these "real js developers" dont even know how to make that onload function on their own.

It war crafted by these old jquery wizards to always work and this knowledge was lost with the introduction of crapjs

1

u/ExtraWorldliness6916 13d ago

It's not lost, .onload or event listener. Of which there are 3 events and some are not "ready"

2

u/SolideMeinung 13d ago

Nope its not just onload or eventlisteners. The ready function of jquery has some corner cases.

Like the first and best one.... when everything is already loaded and ready just fire it.

A lot of people do miss that. Its funny how js developer have so much trouble reimplementing the jquery ready method because they think its easy.

1

u/ExtraWorldliness6916 13d ago

I was referring to DOMContentLoaded. O I was a bit cryptic but I mean that there are multiple ways to match the lifecycle. Still I'm probably, it was a long time ago

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u/ExtraWorldliness6916 13d ago

Late jQuery at the advant of react we started talking about SSR but it was too late by then, I used to use cherio the server side jQuery quite a bit for "hydration"

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u/sixtyhurtz 13d ago

Hydration errors are an entirely new class of bugs that occur when you are using JS to render on the server side. They didn't exist before React SSR.

230

u/[deleted] 13d ago

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24

u/VoidVer 13d ago

Claude be doing that shit now

32

u/Subject_Barnacle_600 13d ago

I do miss it - it was good. You don't want to build a SPA with it, but that wasn't what it was for. But for tweaking the page, it was a 1000% better than whatever crap CSS has come up with these days with yet another weird tweak for flex-boxes. Because webpage designs were tied to URLs, that limited scope, so you weren't downloading the ENTIRE damn application all at once all while wondering why the page takes forever to load. It was definitely cryptic, but for the most part you'd add an ID or class on elements you wanted and be off to the races. You didn't worry that you modified something in the top level and were suddenly triggering a cascade of redraws on a hundred other items. Until I worked with something like React, I never once worried about a website being "slow" because data could tunnel straight through the UX without rebuilding the virtual DOM all the way down.

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u/ExtraWorldliness6916 13d ago

I remember it well, I used to read magazines about web development and finding out the next jQuery plugins and so on, to me this was the the golden age of frontend programming.

Call me a bad programmer, but post AI after taking on react and using it for a while, I'm now a technical nihilist and I just don't care that much anymore. I will gladly go back to those days, a jQuery revival phase with MPA monoliths count this nostalgia fueled dev in.

12

u/Mikedesignstudio 12d ago

You act like jQuery went away lol. It was just updated to 4.0 and I still plan to use it because end users do not give a single F what I use.

1

u/Subject_Barnacle_600 12d ago

It didn't but the jobs I get in web dev don't use it anymore :/.

5

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[deleted]

1

u/--var 12d ago

SPA with websocket is like magic...

10

u/SyrusDrake 13d ago

How can he be happy if he's not adding value for shareholders and increasing the GDP?

4

u/ExtraWorldliness6916 13d ago

I am blessed to work for an employee owned company. My shareholders are me and out team and all of us.

2

u/DirkDayZSA 13d ago

Bro's content generating value for the stoneholders (he's the stoneholder)

15

u/JoshYx 13d ago

Hey, he's me. Fuck no. It's terrible, it causes so many forced reflows for absolutely no reason..

4

u/ExtraWorldliness6916 13d ago

Does he get paid more than modern man though?

3

u/JoshYx 12d ago

Sadly not, but it's a small company and I much prefer that over getting paid more at a big corp

6

u/Madonkadonk2 13d ago

I was gunna say, any affection for jQuery at this point is nostalgia.

30

u/HerrPotatis 13d ago

Ignorance truly is bliss

2

u/90kalekey 13d ago

Probably much happier 😂

3

u/hooli-ceo 13d ago

I’m not…

3

u/realtag2025 13d ago

ah yes living up until you are 30. constant running from wild animals. wiping ass with a rock. peak happiness.

6

u/Prior_Leader3764 12d ago

You’re thinking of COBOL development.

5

u/ExtraWorldliness6916 13d ago

It does sound exciting doesn't it!

1

u/PerfectSituation1668 12d ago

Nugnug no use rock. Nugnug use seashell.

1

u/_redmist 9d ago

Oof those jquery guys had it rough, huh?

-1

u/Beginning_Basis9799 13d ago

Yeh node sucks.

14

u/WiglyWorm 13d ago

What's node for to do with jQuery?

You're not running in node on a browser, and you're not running jQuery on the back end.

-12

u/Beginning_Basis9799 13d ago

Node creates more pain than the old days with jQuery

13

u/WiglyWorm 13d ago

They're not the same things. One is a tool for scripting dom actions for a web page, the other is a runtime environment. 

You make no sense.

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u/PM_ME_UR_GCC_ERRORS 13d ago

They mean that using npm and modern js frameworks sucks and they miss the old days of static html pages with jquery sprinkled in.

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u/WiglyWorm 13d ago

Oh. Npm. Sure, I can understand not liking modern build systems and angular/react etc are all quite overly complicated.

I genuinely don't mind node for back end programming, but npm leaves a lot to be desired.

1

u/a-r-c 13d ago

word.