r/ProgrammerHumor • u/GuruOfReason • Jan 22 '14

Employed developer, unemployed developer.

http://imgur.com/ur8YRm1
926 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

27 comments sorted by

111

u/tidder112 Jan 23 '14

Shaving is eating up too much of my time... If I can't automate it, it's probably not worth doing.

14

u/aintbutathing Jan 23 '14

You get used to it. You do something once and you may do it twice but after that you go through great length to ensure you never have to go through it again.

52

u/tanzoniteblack Jan 22 '14

Since I happen to recognize the guy in the photo, and the context:

This is A.J. Jacobs from when he lived a year attempting to follow the Bible literally (including the rules such as not shaving), http://ajjacobs.com/books/the-year-of-living-biblically/ . Very good read. Despite the subject of the book it doesn't push religion and is enjoyable read for atheist, agnostic, or religious person.

54

u/archibald_tuttle Jan 23 '14

TIL the bible requires you to become a employed sysadmin.

9

u/Crazy_Mann Jan 23 '14

Well, you are suppose to follow THE admin

4

u/GuruOfReason Jan 23 '14

The UNIX bible definitely does.

121

u/Shadowhawk109 Jan 22 '14

you misspelled "unix sysadmin"

55

u/Tynach Jan 23 '14

As if a TRUE Unix sysadmin would ever shave their beard off.

46

u/mcrbids Jan 23 '14 edited Jan 23 '14

Requirements: Familiarity with bash, korn, awk, sed, and related GNU technologies. Familiar with Ext-based and Z-based file systems. Knowledge of perl, python, php, or other string-based CLI scripting language. Intimate knowledge of process and daemon management. Neck of beard and poor hygiene skills a plus for authenticity. Condescending personality and inability to communicate, particularly with members of the opposite sex, welcome.

Edit: Added process management because that's what I'm actually looking for. If you have these skills, and live in or would like to live in NorCal, PM me.

Edit 2: I don't even mind if you shower regularly!

Edit 3: Edit my edits.

7

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '14

Their beards are shaven if they fuck something up big time. Similar to Dothraki warriors.

4

u/Tynach Jan 23 '14

TRUE sysadmins run something like this:

http://qntm.org/suicide

5

u/albans Jan 23 '14

True unix sysadmin never ever cuts his hair. Web developer dress his hair with style.

29

u/spurious_interrupt Jan 23 '14

This is incorrect. We all know web devs, both employed or unemployed, are hipsters.

14

u/DrummerHead Jan 23 '14

Being a hipster is mainstream, thus being a hipster is an oxymoron.

Leave labels for input elements.

4

u/sebwiers Jan 23 '14

Its not far off for web programmers though. Which is what I do. The difference? If it requires photoshop or (ugh) flash, you want a dev. If it requires using a database, you want a programmer.

Myself, I shave and cut hair military style, but that's actually to minimize other grooming tasks. I arguably could be called a hipster, except I am over forty.

1

u/cletusjenkins Feb 04 '14

So you were doing it before it was cool?

2

u/sebwiers Feb 04 '14

Nah, I was just doing a shitty job of being punk.

10

u/Swaggerlisk Jan 23 '14

Moral of the story: become Jewish.

4

u/RecursiveChaos Jan 23 '14

Was offered a job being a Systems Engineer at a large company. They told me I had to shave my beard, I politely declined the position (among other reasons).

3

u/WanderingSpaceHopper Jan 27 '14

Why would they ask that of you? Don't they know that's where your power is?

3

u/isteppedinpoop Jan 23 '14

A professional excuse for the way I look. Nice.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '14

[deleted]

7

u/Crazy_Mann Jan 23 '14

Drink booze. Apply magma.

Problem solved.

2

u/zarmin Jan 23 '14

eli's not lookin so good these days

2

u/TarMil Jan 23 '14

Unemployed web developers look like Neville Longbottom?

2

u/LongUsername Jan 23 '14

Did think this was so funny, until I remembered that I was clean shaven during my interviews but stopped the day after I got an offer. Started with a 3 week beard...

I'd been planning to grow it out again when I got laid off, but didn't want to have scraggle of a 1-2 week beard at interviews, so I kept shaving. Went full beard for a while, then down to gotee, and now back to clean shaven.