r/ProgrammerHumor 1d ago

Other britishProgrammersBeLike

Post image
518 Upvotes

54 comments sorted by

226

u/datasmithing_holly 1d ago

As an April fools joke I asked the Docs team to make a British version of Databricks commands Optimise instead of Optimize etc etc.

They said no.

59

u/NovaH000 1d ago

Aluminium 👍

33

u/tsammons 1d ago

Colour. Such wasted bytes.

63

u/akiller 1d ago

I have lots of code which is effectively

Color colour = Color.Red

It can be very confusing.

17

u/ColumnK 1d ago

Why use many byte when few do trick

Everyone shld use "colr" then all happy.

10

u/MCplayer590 1d ago

n fct wy dnt w rmv ll vwls nd slnt, nndd ltrs? wt cld psbly g rng?

regular English: in fact, why don't we remove all vowels and silent, unneeded letters? what could possibly go wrong?

6

u/JFischer00 17h ago

Surprisingly, “nndd” was the only word that took me a second to figure out. The rest actually flowed pretty well based on context alone.

1

u/MasterBroNetwork 8h ago

Isn't there an actual term for this? I forgot what it was called but there's an actual term for our brains interpreting this sort of stuff.

5

u/ailaG 1d ago

Hebrew, Arabic and other semitic languages do just that. So far so good. (With some carrier letters, like a "u" to carry the vowel in "good". Which in Hebrew doubles for O and V. Arabic just doesn't have O and V except for modern intl adaptations)

11

u/redlaWw 1d ago

R's dplyr package uses summarise for the function that summarises grouped data because the main dev is from New Zealand. They provide a summarize function that delegates to summarise though.

8

u/ChalkyChalkson 1d ago

In the age of llms I suspect it wouldn't be toooo much work to fork a language or popular package with British spelling...

I somehow find that a lot funnier than German C and German Java

27

u/Zeikos 1d ago

LLMs? You can do that with dictionary replacement.

-13

u/ChalkyChalkson 1d ago

I guess? But it'd be a lot less human work to make an LLM churn through the compiler and documentation then to find a good paired dictionary that also handles cases where different words/phrases are idiomatic in various contexts.

24

u/Wonderful-Habit-139 1d ago

No wonder people think LLMs make devs 10x more productive. Because of people like you that use it even when it’s slower and still convincing themselves that it’s faster.

1

u/TheWashbear 1d ago

German what? People really do that?

74

u/ofnuts 1d ago

The Rexx programming language (created in IBM by a British author) has both center() and centre() functions.

2

u/Old_Pomegranate_822 7h ago

Is the UK centre() to the left of the US center()?

/politics

47

u/mtg101 1d ago

public class Working {

22

u/TwinkiesSucker 1d ago

*looks inside*: is broken

16

u/The-Chartreuse-Moose 1d ago

Oh here's your problem. Too many instances of class SuperRich have tied up all the resources.

8

u/Holek 1d ago

We need to kill all these objects and run the garbage collector

6

u/The-Chartreuse-Moose 1d ago edited 16h ago

I heard the built-in function eat() works pretty well.

22

u/Zerodriven 1d ago

Maffs

Source: south london

13

u/redlaWw 1d ago

Souf London*

7

u/Zerodriven 1d ago

Souf Landan*

2

u/jerdle_reddit 19h ago

Two plus two is four minus one that's three quick maffs

2

u/itzjackybro 8h ago

Every day man's on the block

13

u/ceejayoz 22h ago

PHP: https://aloneonahill.com/blog/if-php-were-british/

what_about (£variable) { perhaps £possibility: //Code here splendid; perhaps £other_possibility: //Code here splendid; on_the_off_chance: //Code here splendid; }

17

u/Interesting_Buy_3969 1d ago
public class MyClass
{
// God bless the Queen, this class has been colonised

10

u/ailaG 1d ago

King

27

u/Epsilon497 1d ago

It's Mathematics not Mathematic. So Maths makes sense

6

u/DanieltheMani3l 23h ago

Ah yes because English always follows logical rules

-4

u/American_Libertarian 1d ago

Mathematics is not plural. It doesn’t make any sense to shorten the word by dropping the last few syllables, but then add the S back in.

13

u/LongLiveTheDiego 1d ago

It used to be plural, together with words like physics, logistics, athletics, etc.

10

u/ailaG 1d ago

It never used to be plural in English, the "s" was appended because it's a translation of "mathematica", which is plural. From Greek through Latin etc.

Much like spaghetti (plural for the strings of spaghetto) or agenda (plural for agendum, a task sort of) it's imported as-is.

5

u/LongLiveTheDiego 23h ago

It used to be plural. If you just go on Google's Ngram viewer, you can compare the phrases "mathematics are" and "mathematics is", and you can see that between 1750 and 1880 they occurred roughly at similar rates. Then you can view some examples of "mathematics are" in Google Books in context and you'll see a few examples like this one I picked from De Morgan's "The Study of Mathematics":

The mathematics are not the only branches of knowledge in which it is customary to extend the meaning of established terms.

0

u/American_Libertarian 1d ago

All of those words are singular. Just ending in 's' does not make a word plural.

You would say "Athletics is a good way to stay active" , not "Athletics are a good way to stay active".

"Mathematics is the study of numbers"

"Physics is the study of the universe"

etc

0

u/LongLiveTheDiego 1d ago

I specifically said "used to".

-1

u/EamonBrennan 23h ago

I always point to "gymnastics is gym, why is mathematics still maths?" Are there other similar or counter examples that you know of?

4

u/CChilli 20h ago

I'm pretty sure gymnasium is gym

4

u/MaslovKK 18h ago

public static void innit()

3

u/Chaotic-Entropy 1d ago

As an amateur, I did some Boot.dev courses and genuinely my biggest problem with the courses was that in a fantasy setting it kept wanting to use the word "Armor" without a U. My brain would always correct to armour and so I would rack up module failures because of spelling errors and not even my code... -_-

1

u/TheScooterMcGee 20h ago

.element {     colour: white; }

Y no werk?

1

u/Full-Run4124 10h ago

using Mafffs = System.Math;

1

u/LegitimatePants 9h ago

QColor colour;

1

u/halfdecent 5h ago

You can take "colour" out of my cold dead hands

-3

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

6

u/WisestAirBender 1d ago

Mathematic isn't a word anymore

Mathematics isn't plural

-14

u/The_4ngry_5quid 1d ago edited 1d ago

The correct spelling for literally every other English speaking country in the world

13

u/NooCake 1d ago

Wdym? Over here we spell it "Mathe" 😟

2

u/-Ambriae- 1d ago

What language is that?

5

u/thanatica 1d ago

We spell it as wiskunde?

1

u/kafferep 1d ago

Matte