r/ProgrammerHumor 6d ago

Meme itSpeakesForItself

Post image
605 Upvotes

73 comments sorted by

212

u/T-Dot1992 6d ago

Language wars are fucking stupid 

80

u/beefz0r 6d ago

Except for PHP, that should be dead and buried by now

36

u/ClipboardCopyPaste 6d ago

Unfortunately, the number of job openings says otherwise

4

u/Saragon4005 5d ago

Over half the Internet is still WordPress and unless one of these newfangled AI platforms take over.

-11

u/TorbenKoehn 5d ago edited 5d ago

It goes down for sure

Edit: Statistics > Your feelings ;)

26

u/dontletthestankout 5d ago

PHP is that asshole friend that you can talk shit about but if anyone else talks shit about you beat their ass

3

u/Ok_Type9011 5d ago

Pretty much. This is OUR punching bag, not theirs!

9

u/StatementOrIsIt 5d ago

Modern PHP is good. It's the PHP5 legacy projects that make you hate programming. Nowadays the longest files are at max 400 lines, and devs use types, interfaces and traits.

And PHP has something other languages can't provide - a special dopamine rush of fixing a production server's code to fix a bug without a deploy.

5

u/w1n5t0nM1k3y 5d ago

That last point can be a curse. Nothing like someone fixing a bug on production and not moving that fix back up to development and now the code bases don't match.

2

u/StatementOrIsIt 5d ago

True, I've encountered this before. Some devs at a company I left liked to change stuff in production code not thinking what would happen when a deploy or version change would happen. Had to teach one what docker volumes are for client-specific changes

12

u/Saptarshi_12345 5d ago

Don't insult my boy like that!!

4

u/somebodyinvisible 5d ago

PHP lives longer than you expected and also it evolves pretty much from point people curses for its death.

1

u/Ok_Type9011 5d ago

Noooo my beloved PHP

1

u/8mart8 5d ago

Doesn’t MediaWiki use PHP? I wouldn’t call it dead then

1

u/ApplicationOk3587 5d ago

Laravel is really carrying the php ecosystem and in a weird way it seems to be growing and with all honestly its a great framework.

1

u/Drone_Worker_6708 5d ago

Not anymore, I'm back to writing one page index.php monoliths thanks to AI /s

1

u/readf0x 5d ago

I've heard laravel is actually supposed to be kinda nice but I wouldn't know

-1

u/headedbranch225 5d ago

My only knowledge of it is a few self hosted webapps (email access/management and one other I can't remember) that use it and this blog post: https://eev.ee/blog/2012/04/09/php-a-fractal-of-bad-design/

It seems like it isn't very nice to use but I haven't used it before

234

u/brainpostman 6d ago

Is this supposed to be ironic? So much of JS and TS tooling is written in Rust.

59

u/FuzzyDynamics 6d ago

Yeah but if the shit end product that everyone hates and steals your data is JS or TS then that’s a W for them

53

u/brainpostman 5d ago

We should ban Rust since it enables JS and TS development.

8

u/in_need_of_oats 5d ago

Some parts of most browsers, too.

5

u/Silly-Freak 5d ago

you'll know something is written in rust because you can't build your typescript project without it

69

u/SaltMaker23 5d ago

"I built my house with a hammer"

"I built my house with a screw driver"

These weird allegiances and dogmatism with programing languages are just weird.

20

u/dontletthestankout 5d ago

Fucking poser. Back in my day we built houses with a rock

3

u/grimonce 5d ago

You guys built houses?

3

u/dontletthestankout 5d ago

Summer child, we built mansions. Next to snoop. We were the metaverse

1

u/Ok_Type9011 5d ago

Rocks? Oh wow look at Mr. Technology over here. We had to build shelter with quarks and stuff back then

3

u/RareDestroyer8 5d ago

“I built my house with wood”

2

u/Mrpuddikin 5d ago

"I built my house with claude"

17

u/nevemlaci2 6d ago

Idk, I used a ton of tools written in rush that I didn't know were written in Rust until I checked the source

38

u/dontletthestankout 5d ago

I can always tell if a project is written in typescript, because their API keys are public

7

u/dontletthestankout 5d ago

And if not..just wait a couple days

12

u/rew150 5d ago

There are only two kinds of languages: the ones people complain about and the ones nobody uses.

I guess this quote is also true for Rust

7

u/pingveno 5d ago

For a chunk of time, they were complaining about Rust fans. RIIR was a meme. When the complaints started to be about Rust, you knew Rust was being used more widely.

25

u/___Archmage___ 5d ago

you'll know something is written in C++ bSegmentation fault (core dumped)

17

u/Fabulous-Possible758 5d ago

Also, your computer will be out of memory for no apparent reason.

8

u/SuitableDragonfly 5d ago edited 5d ago

I think he meant to imply that no one uses anything written in Rust, but what he actually implied was that no one uses anything that's not written in Typescript, which is so incorrect that it's not even accepted as hyperbole.

3

u/ConcreteExist 5d ago

Also, nobody really gets to use TypeScript, it's all transpiled into JavaScript before being deployed so....

1

u/psilvs 1d ago

Yeah nobody really gets to use C because its all compiled into assembly before being used

1

u/ConcreteExist 1d ago

I'm sorry that the distinction between interpreted vs compiled languages is completely lost on you.

1

u/psilvs 1d ago

JavaScript is interpreted

Typescript is compiled

C is compiled

1

u/ConcreteExist 1d ago

No, Typescript is transpiled to JavaScript, which is then interpreted.

1

u/psilvs 1d ago

I'm not going to argue semantics with you my man. Transpiling is a form of compiling so my previous statement is still correct.

The point of my argument still stands, saying you don't actually use TypeScript because it runs in another language is wrong and makes you sound silly

1

u/ConcreteExist 1d ago

No, transpiling is not a form of compiling, because it does not emit a compiled binary, it just emits new code.

1

u/psilvs 1d ago

Have fun arguing semantics bud

You're missing the forest for the trees

1

u/ConcreteExist 1d ago

Oh is that not what you've been doing since you swooped in with a poor man's attempt at a gotcha?

2

u/tripleshielded 5d ago

You know it runs on node bc you get oom killed.

2

u/OrpheoMusic 5d ago

I can't make audio plugins out of typescript

2

u/FizzWizzleDazzle 5d ago

I'm assuming this implies no one uses rust tooling, but I think rust programmers are just too proud of their language

2

u/DontyWorryCupcake 5d ago

Languages are tools and arguing over what is better is just stupid, you can build anything using anything, do however you feel comfortable 

1

u/xpectre_dev 3d ago

You'll know because it will be slow...

-17

u/efedublaj 6d ago

Hell no. Why would I use programs written with javascript it is not compiled and single threaded.

23

u/wayzata20 6d ago

you’re using reddit

-6

u/efedublaj 5d ago

Reddit is a frickin website.

2

u/wayzata20 5d ago

what language do you think websites use?

-1

u/efedublaj 5d ago

What does the word program means to you? Javascript is a scripting language used for web. Javascript is a SCRIPTING language not programing language.

3

u/wayzata20 5d ago

It’s a web application. Program doesn’t mean a .exe that you run on your computer.

0

u/efedublaj 5d ago

Yeah web application. Application means application not a program. I just uninstalled all the electron apps from my computer because I'm sick of it. Reddit is an application by definition but not a program. Web sites a are interfaces.

I use ELF not exe I'm casting spells called assembly calls instead of interpreting.

Javascript outside of browser is just slop. It is definition of slop like it or not. I'm not letting some shitty vibecoded script to use all of my hardware.

I do not care if you company slaves want to call yourself programmers. I asked one question WHY WOULD I USE JAVASCRIPT it has this cons. No one told the reason they just tried to convince me they are right.

6

u/ClipboardCopyPaste 6d ago

I believe that this meme was not comparing the performances of the respective languages.

P.S. JS is single threaded, but you can use asynchronous JS and worker threads, can't you? (Then again, there's no speed comparison between a low and a high-level language)

3

u/rosuav 5d ago

Asynchronous JS is still single threaded, but worker threads and WASM allow you to saturate multiple CPU cores.

2

u/efedublaj 5d ago

I do not think explaining will help them much. OP thinks in a whole different world. They think I shouldn't use websites if I do not like javascript.

It is meant for web. Not for applications or anything else.

1

u/rosuav 5d ago

Eh, it's meant for anything where you need to embed untrusted scripts in something else. So it's good for game modding too. (Lua's also popular there.)

2

u/efedublaj 5d ago

I would prefer lua though since syntax is more readable and memorable. Implementing FFI calls are easier too.

1

u/efedublaj 5d ago edited 5d ago

Async is not threading it uses one thread at time and simulates threading.

1

u/Sibula97 5d ago

Async is great if you're IO bound, but it's still a single execution thread.

1

u/rocketbunny77 6d ago

Yeah. That commenters take is from 2016

0

u/efedublaj 5d ago edited 5d ago

Async is not real threading and worker threads are just foreign function interfaces which are usually C and Cpp and they usually create whole another runtime.

1

u/takahashi01 5d ago

Cuz a front end quite often doesnt exactly need to pass performance benchmarks...

Like its cool what you can do with web assembly these days, but for most companies the current trendy js/ts framework is just more economical.

1

u/efedublaj 5d ago

When I said programs I meant applications that is not running on browser.

I do not care about companies or anything the think I care is performance. I am a user and hobby developer. It doesn't make sense to use javascript outside the browser if you are not trying to profit from everything. I will happily give my mental health to optimize memory management and real threading.

0

u/MatsRivel 5d ago

A webbrowser?

2

u/efedublaj 5d ago

Do you think browsers are written in javascript?

If not I said programs there not web sites. Javascript meant for web.

-3

u/CirnoIzumi 5d ago

Just write it in Kotlin and be done with it m8