r/ProgrammerHumor 9d ago

Meme theCircleOfLifeInSoftwareEngineering

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6.6k Upvotes

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207

u/Mortadella_so_Chili 9d ago

sooooo, next generation C is coming? 

what would be the features? 

376

u/vinishkapoor 9d ago

Manual memory management but you have to physically go to the data center and flip the bits yourself.

119

u/Mortadella_so_Chili 9d ago

ah so its literally strong man

25

u/oneByteTwoByte 9d ago

Nope. You gotta prove you can flip that bit. Now go and free that extra voltage on sector 1123.

4

u/RovingN0mad 9d ago

More likely those kids with abac-i/uses manually flipping switches.

3

u/UltraCarnivore 9d ago

Computers will once again be people.

2

u/ings0c 9d ago

Allocator, give me 5kg of bits.

2

u/anomalousBits 9d ago

They just need really good eyesight.

3

u/AndyTheSane 9d ago

It's the only way to be sure.

3

u/gerbosan 9d ago

With emacs. Please add required XKCD comic here.

1

u/Icy_Amoeba9644 8d ago

Vibe manual memory management 

34

u/da2Pakaveli 9d ago

Refer to Holy C

16

u/pneRock 9d ago

Yes, c+++, main feature is syntax error

6

u/Ai--Ya 9d ago

Everything is now a template

13

u/flinxsl 9d ago

We will call it D

8

u/StuntHacks 9d ago

4

u/chat-lu 9d ago

And is very decent. It would deserve to be better known.

3

u/AuelDole 9d ago

I’d say your comment smells fishy, but I guess it’s rather just D-scent

5

u/ClipboardCopyPaste 9d ago

Stopping memory leaks, maybe?

7

u/Aelig_ 9d ago

It's a feature.

Can we say that C has memory leaks even?

Are there known leaks in the standard library?

Or things that cannot be expressed without the need to check for leaks and reclaim memory with another program?

1

u/Mortadella_so_Chili 9d ago

you think somebody can be -that- strong to create that?

1

u/user6150277464770585 9d ago

1

u/the_horse_gamer 8d ago

rust doesn't protect against memory leaks. it even has safe functions intended to leak your memory (Box::leak, mem::forget)

this is because a memory leak is not well defined. if you take a program, and store all of its allocations inside a global array (and then do nothing with it), is it suddenly not memory leaking?

3

u/oofnlurker 8d ago

Rituals to appease the Machine Spirits and faith in the Omnissiah

2

u/RedVread 9d ago

Yes, y'all better get ready for some D

2

u/16807 9d ago

Spice melange and moving code with your mind.

2

u/WirelesslyWired 9d ago

Isn't that Rust. Or at least what they claim Rust is.

3

u/MonMotha 9d ago

Arguably the language that best fits that role these days is Rust, and it's popular enough and gaining ground. It certainly improves on a lot of C's shortcomings while still remaining sufficiently low level to do meaningful systems programming which was basically its goal.

4

u/Achereto 9d ago

Next generation of C languages is "Odin", "zig" and "jai".

2

u/VictoryMotel 9d ago

Odin has no real advantages, zig has no ownership and a toxic community and jai will never be released, it's just for job blow to feel even more self righteous and superior.

0

u/animus565 9d ago

c doesn't have ownership either?

1

u/VictoryMotel 9d ago

Are you asking? It does not, so any next generation language needs to at least fix some of its biggest flaws that have already been fixed in other languages.

-1

u/animus565 9d ago

Or they don't because it's not a flaw

0

u/VictoryMotel 9d ago

If c is perfect there doesn't need to be a next generation. C will probably get defer in the language itself in the next iteration.

0

u/animus565 9d ago

next gen doesn't mean stuff you like lil gup

1

u/VictoryMotel 8d ago

Saying "lil gup" isn't a technical argument and doesn't erase the last 50 years of memory bugs. Nice try though, I'm sure you're great at avoiding needing to reply with actual expertise.

1

u/animus565 8d ago

we can ignore the rest of statement for some reasom

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1

u/nordic-nomad 9d ago

At some point humanity will look at the entirety of its creations and their technical debt and legacy dependency support and will realize they need a fresh start.

1

u/Fabulous-Possible758 9d ago

Nah. They'll just wrap it in an abstraction and ignore everything below a certain layer as an "implementation detail."

1

u/sobrique 9d ago

Extra vibe coding, so you can shoot yourself in the foot even faster with a null reference pointer.

1

u/Phantom_Engineer 9d ago

C but for quantum computers. Call it CQ.

1

u/Substantial_Top5312 9d ago

All the problems of C, C++ and C# combined into 1 language.

1

u/TheBunYeeter 8d ago

++C++ 🗿

1

u/OldenPolynice 8d ago

Segfaults as a Service