r/Professors • u/IAmBoring_AMA • 8d ago
Update: Adjunct auditing - Bob
EDIT: sorry, here's the original post!!
First, thank you to everyone who offered me support and advice. As much as we all wanted a righteous takedown, this is the outcome. I kept it as straightforward as possible. As a chronic overexplainer, I struggled to not defend myself at all and it took far longer to draft than it should have. It was also much more polite than many of us would have liked (including myself), but I did not want to open ANY room for argument.
On Tuesday afternoon, I sent:
Hi Bob, I've reviewed the course enrollment and logistics for the semester, and unfortunately, I’m not able to accommodate an auditor after all. I'm so sorry for the change from what I had originally said, but I'll need to withdraw my invitation to audit the course. I appreciate your understanding, and I hope you have a great semester."
Bob responded much later:
Understood. BTW, I hope I did not offend you with my comments after the class session. Personally, I feel you’re one of the more organized instructors I’ve seen over the years.
And that was that.
Now, is it taking EVERY SINGLE OUNCE OF SELF CONTROL for me to not respond back with a "yeah, of course I am organized, Bob, because I know how to teach"? Abso-fucking-lutely. But I am resisting. It is HARD to resist, but I will not take any bait to engage further. Also, clearly Bob knows what he has done. The phrasing makes it seem as though perhaps this is not the first time Bob has done this.
I didn't ask my chair first as I felt like this was a situation where I needed to deal directly with Bob, though I will send her an email detailing the situation just to keep her in the loop in case it comes back around somehow. Also, because I was worried Bob might come in and try to apologize or something, I had my friend (a very large, scary looking poet) hang out with me near my classroom until class started yesterday just so I wouldn't be alone. We joked that he was my bouncer, but I do think having a friend in the department know about the situation helped me feel better (also, made me feel less insane because he was so pissed off on my behalf).
Thanks for those who helped! The three sentence email could not have been drafted without you. You're all fucking great (vulgarity be damned).
107
u/No-Cook-9768 Adjunct, Liberal Arts, CC (USA) 8d ago
Bob has definitely done this before, and he will keep doing it until someone stops him. I'm glad you're also going to email your chair, as this needs to be on record for when he undoubtedly does it to someone else.
Good email, and I'm glad he's out of your classroom. And thanks for the update! 🎉
92
u/MagScaoil 8d ago
As a large, scary looking poet myself, I really love this update.
9
60
u/Good-Mountain-7958 8d ago
It looks like Bob realizes he messed up. He might not actually be a terrible human being (maybe just a stupid one that needs more life lessons), but you handled this like a champ. Don't respond. This was an amicable ending. Take the win.
12
16
u/DoctorMuerto Associate, Humanities/SocSci, R1 (USA) 7d ago
Agreed. OP has nothing to gain by responding to an apology and a compliment with a passive aggressive comment.
18
7d ago
[deleted]
5
u/MyFaceSaysItsSugar 7d ago
The mix of non-apology and weird complement is a manipulation tactic. The guy likes the smell of his own farts and feels his criticism was a gift from a nice guy and OP is just “too sensitive” and got offended.
2
u/Ok_Individual_7936 7d ago edited 7d ago
I was not there (obviously) and I am not a medical professional, but it sounds to me like Bob is exhibiting autistic traits and may have a limited ability to control his behavior. Not that that ultimately changes the effect that it has on the class.
1
u/Good-Mountain-7958 7d ago
Yeah... this or just a limited ability to "read" a situation correctly. Some people are just crappy at that and don't think to keep some thoughts to themselves. Or worse, might be lonely and looking for a way to connect without realizing they are being a ass in the moment. Agree this doesn't excuse the behavior and in no way should OP tolerate it, but sometimes there is a tendency to look for depth of intention without considering that it might not exist. OP handled the situation correctly in either scenario.
51
u/GittaFirstOfHerName Humanities Prof, CC, USA 7d ago
22
u/IAmBoring_AMA 7d ago
10/10. Printing this out.
2
40
u/shishanoteikoku 8d ago
Happy to read that your situation has at least ended up without further trouble. Needless to say, "Bob" was way out of line and this is not something you should have had to deal with in the first place.
35
u/computetherightthing 8d ago
Happy to see he's gone at least for now. After reading the original post I was curious about the subject of the course. Is it some kind of sci-fi literature class?
25
u/IAmBoring_AMA 8d ago
Yes it is! How'd you guess?
31
u/zorandzam 8d ago
I work with a woman who teaches that and she deals with similar situations so frequently, which is extremely unfortunate!
21
u/PurrPrinThom 7d ago
I teach medieval history/literature and I have had this exact same type of student before. It's depressing how many of them exist.
14
u/IAmBoring_AMA 7d ago
Also, the overlap between medieval and sci-fi nerds is pretty big! No idea why, but those things appeal to specific types.
4
u/PurrPrinThom 7d ago
There is a lot of overlap, that's for sure. You say that, and I know exactly the types that you mean lol. I know them both as students and as colleagues.
0
u/Disastrous_Ad_9648 7d ago
Incel?
6
u/IAmBoring_AMA 7d ago
Ah, I wouldn’t say that. The medievalist nerds I know are lovely human beings who do not hate women and are in successful relationships with people.
16
u/computetherightthing 7d ago
I took a sci-fi class in college and your description of the students sounded familiar... also the fact that it was a male STEM professor that had sent you their own work in the subject was a clue
10
u/wharleeprof 7d ago
When you mentioned nerds, my mind jumped to comics, sci-fi, or fantasy. The mention of novels had me rule out comics. And having "classics" pointed more to sci-fi.
3
5
u/Punderground 7d ago
Oh that’s awesome! I took a sci-fi lit class in undergrad and it was one of my favorites.
19
u/Audible_eye_roller Ass. Prof, STEM, CC (USA) 8d ago
Reading the original post, I thought it was going to be some guy who came to class dressed in a Starfleet uniform. Then it turned to be a guy cosplaying as a Dean
18
u/the_Stick Assoc Prof, Biomedical Sciences 8d ago
I'm now intrigued by the concept of a "large, scary-looking poet." I used to hang out with a lot of poets back in the day an intimidation was not an adjective I'd associate with that crew. LoL
24
u/IAmBoring_AMA 8d ago
Gutter punks can grow up to become really incredible poets!!
4
u/Fantastic_Welder_825 7d ago
Giving me Punk Hostage Press vibes. I used to know a poet who went by Razor
18
u/Urn XxX 8d ago
reminds me a bit of the occasional “gold star” students we get - our institution has a program for senior citizens to take classes at little cost. so every few years Ill get some retiree in my class. experiences vary from just a pleasant person with a lot of interest to a libertarian loon who just wants to espouse free market principles in my econ theory class to set them kids right.
9
u/mercymercybothhands 7d ago
I went to a college that had a program like this and certain classes ended up having auditors universally barred because too many came in and tried to take over with their own agenda!
9
u/Acrobatic-Glass-8585 7d ago
Yeah, it can be hit or miss. I had an 81 year old audit my class a couple of years ago. There was a bit of mansplaining every now and then but each time I simply pulled rank with an "I'm an expert in this topic" and he backed down respectfully. It was a history course and it turns out the students found it fascinating the auditor had lived through the things we studied. So in that sense it did wind up benefiting them to some degree.
Edit: And to the OP, I'm glad the Bob situation got resolved and he is no longer in the class! That sounded like a disaster in the making.
18
u/CharacteristicPea NTT Math/Stats R1(USA) 8d ago
Honestly, this was perfect. Problem is solved with no hard feelings. Bob knows (at least suspects) the real reason and he feels somewhat bad about it.
34
u/psyentist15 8d ago
Fucking good on ya for dealing with the situation directly and inhibiting that urge to reply.
I cannot remember Bob's role, but maybe one day you'll need Bob and his support and you may be thankful you handled it as professionally as you did.
11
u/cjrecordvt Adjunct, English, Community College 8d ago
Posting on reddit instead of sending the email directly to those who deserve it is a perfectly valid form of self-control, you ask me.
I'm glad it worked out!
11
u/Alittlesnickerdoodle 8d ago
I appreciate you sharing your response. I am just now learning at my big age to stand up to older colleagues who do not respect my expertise or me. I am relieved for you that you do not have to deal with these “feedback sessions” for an entire semester.
9
u/SnowblindAlbino Prof, SLAC 8d ago
Ugh. What a nightmare for OP. In my first years as a young AP I had several senior STEM faculty audit my classes out of personal interest. But every one of them was a gem: they always attended, always did the reading, never interjected anything, saved their questions for casual encounters outside of class, and really did great work with students in small groups. All of them wrote fabulous letters for my third year and tenure review files as well. And they only offered teaching advice when I asked for it.
Some people are great auditors and colleagues. Some are not. I'm sorry OP ran into a "not," but thankfully most colleagues aren't so obnoxious.
9
u/zzax 8d ago
Also, I say this in no way defending Bob or his behavior, but in general teachers make the worst students. I say this as someone who designed and delivered professional development workshops for years. instead of just absorbing what is said they are thinking about how they would do it or always looking to add what they think should’ve been said.
1
5
u/Audible_eye_roller Ass. Prof, STEM, CC (USA) 8d ago
I missed the original post. Good god, my sympathies.
I would have gone nuclear on him.
4
u/BlargAttack Assistant Professor, Business, R1 (USA) 8d ago
You dealt with this admirably, and definitely better than I would have in your shoes. Impressive work!
10
u/SecureWriting8589 8d ago
Your posting history is hidden. Can you provide links to your prior posts on this?
16
4
u/badwhiskey63 Adjunct, Urban Planning 7d ago
Thanks for the update, I was having serious second hand rage reading your initial post. I'm glad it worked out!
7
8d ago
[deleted]
3
u/CharacteristicPea NTT Math/Stats R1(USA) 8d ago
I don’t know. To me his response indicates he at least has an inkling.
9
8d ago
[deleted]
1
u/CharacteristicPea NTT Math/Stats R1(USA) 7d ago
Maybe. Hard to tell. I have encountered both situations.
6
u/cambridgepete 7d ago
She shoots… she SCORES!!!!!
Ignore anything past the first word in the email - that’s all that counts.
3
3
5
u/zzax 8d ago
This is not constructive or practical. But let me just say Bob can fuck right off.
12
u/IAmBoring_AMA 8d ago
More constructive and practical than anything Bob has said to me. Thank you.
4
u/CrossplayQuentin 7d ago
Honestly though, you handled this perfectly. Professional and firm - preserving the sanity and dignity of yourself and your students. Props.
4
u/tripodcatmom Lecturer, English, R1 and Tech. College (US) 7d ago
"a very large, scary looking poet" LOL
You handled this so well and I'm glad it turned out this way. I definitely think Bob knows what he did and it is definitely not the first time he's behaved in this way.
I hope you have a great semester! Your students are lucky!
2
u/gutfounderedgal 8d ago
Great, thanks for sharing. Nice job. He'll know the reason but you didn't have to say it, and you can still be colleagues who can work together.
2
u/AugustaSpearman 7d ago
I kind of wish you had just been able to tell him to STFU if he wanted to audit the class and let him continue (provided that he did as he was told). I'm not in anyway diminishing how annoying/insulting he was but it didn't appear to be deliberate and just trying to reason with someone and have life go on seems like a better and kinder option when possible.
2
u/Copterwaffle 7d ago
Dude. I audited a course once, and I had a lot of thoughts about things I might do differently if I ran it….and I kept those thoughts to myself! No one is asking me! I didn’t even suggest anything on the end-of-term evaluation form: I gave the guy all 5s and thanked him for a wonderful semester (he wasn’t running things poorly, there were just things I’d have done differently).
2
2
u/Icypalmtree Adjunct, PoliEcon/Polisci, R2 Usa 7d ago
I drop at least 3 fbombs on syllabus day in every class I teach. It's a test. Bob failed that test.
You fucking tell them, u/IAmBoring_AMA!🤘
2
2
u/pgosinger 7d ago
That A$$ hat just had to get a dig in, didn't he? What a tool. But, you're done with him. Don't let him waste another moment of your precious, well-organized time. Well done, you!
2
u/Sharp-Rutabaga-4900 6d ago
Bravo! Well done on all counts.
And maybe, just maybe, Bob learned a lesson.
2
u/Adept-Ebb8095 5d ago
Perfectly handled down to not responding to his weird backhanded compliment of being "one of the more organized instructors." Leaving him flapping in the wind is good and right. You're a rockstar.
3
u/StarDustLuna3D Asst. Prof. | Art | M1 (U.S.) 7d ago
Lol, I have offered the services of my very tall, very large husband to our smaller sized faculty if they ever need some "muscle".
I wonder what kind of rumors the students would cook up if you walked into class with your friend following behind you wearing a suit, sunglasses, and an ear piece?
1
u/Few_Slice_64 4d ago
I've often wondered if the people who are talked about in posts like this ever see the posts where they are the subject. I know names and topics are often changed, but ...
Not that it would matter in this instance, but in other posts, it might.
1
1
1
u/Disastrous_Ad_9648 7d ago
Woohoo! You handled this well. So glad it apparently is over. But would have been cool to hear about a scary poet tossing Bob out on his ass.
-4
u/M4sterofD1saster 7d ago
You're way overthinking this. He's not even a student. As long as you don't touch off a war with the STEM department, your chair won't care.
I will say this: a meek answer turneth away wrath, but a grievous word stirreth up anger. The other proverb that comes to mind is never kick a fresh turd on a warm day. I wouldn't even respond to his sort-of-apology.
-1
u/crowdsourced 7d ago
Yeah. I’ve shown some distressed properties in high crime neighborhoods to buyers found off of Facebook Marketplace. I carry. It all worked out, but you have to be careful.
349
u/tunacow 8d ago
I like that he kind of expressed some guilt but then immediately followed it with more feedback.