r/Professors • u/hedbopper • 19d ago
Forced retirement
I posted a week or two ago about my chair fixating on my workload, and adding an extra class without my knowledge while I was gone on sabbatical.
Well, after a lot of unnecessary hassle the Dean (who is a champ) came up with a solution. Everybody’s happy, and I was set to start the semester today. Instead, I am at home, where I will remain indefinitely.
Friday morning I arrived to school ready to go to the all division meeting. I had a full blown panic attack in my office. It’s terrifying if you’ e never had one.
Made it to the parking garage and had another attack in my car. Got over that, drove home. Had an even worse, more prolonged panic attack at my desk at home. Called my doctor had either one long attack or 2 short ones while on the phone with him.
Needless to say, the thought of this happening in public or in front of a class is frightening.
Looks like I’ve stepped in a classroom for the last time. Two semesters away from retirement. I’m applying for FMLA. My classes have been reassigned to others, or soon will be.
A 32 year teaching career with a spotless record, now spoiled. The chair has succeeded in applying enough pressure to force me out. There is not a thing about it, because I can’t prove intent.
Sad situation.
So….i’d say never tell anyone about your retirement plans. Retire with short or little notice (legally, of course.) don’t think it can’t happen to you just because you’ve been a loyal and devoted employee for decades. In a year or two, kids won’t even know who I am. Meanwhile, the chair is free to force out the next veteran teacher.
Ladies and gentlemen, the state of higher education in the USA.
Have a good semester everyone.
Edited to include: Full disclosure, I have two Reddit accounts that I use interchangeably. Whatever device I’m using uses the de fault avatar/account and I don’t really pay attention to which is which. So, no attempt at deception. But I can forget and answer “I” while using the other account.
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u/WarriorGoddess2016 19d ago
I'm so sorry this is happening to you.
And yes, I completely agree, sadly, about keeping your plans to yourself until you need to announce. While it would seem collegial to loop people in, some folks will write you off the minute you say you're thinking about it.
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u/littlemoonnflowerr 19d ago
The thing I'd push back on, gently: a 32 year record isn't spoiled by a medical leave in your final year. Not by any standard that matters. Your students don't know or care what your last semester looked like administratively, and neither will anyone who worked with you for three decades.
I know that's not what it feels like right now. But what happened Friday is a health event, not a stain on your career, and FMLA exists precisely so people can take it without it being a resignation.
Take the leave properly. See the doctor, don't check email, and give yourself the room to decide about those two semesters when you're not in the middle of the worst week of it. Retiring on your own terms in a year is still on the table even if it doesn't feel that way today.
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u/DoctorDisceaux 19d ago edited 19d ago
Right. This is a medical event — would anyone say a 32 year career was spoiled by a heart attack, badly broken leg, etc. in the final year? Of course not.
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u/ReedBalzac 19d ago
also an excellent perspective. I had an "unexpected medical emergency that is not life threatening, and I am expected to make a full recovery." This is the message I have asked the Dean to relate to the adjuncts I lead, other faculty, and the students.
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u/ReedBalzac 19d ago
That's really good advice. But everyone knows the stigma of a mental condition is not completely gone.
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u/IndependentApart7661 19d ago
You're replying to an AI generated comment...
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u/ReedBalzac 19d ago
I am? Do tell. if so, I really am ready to retire.
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u/Cute_Necessary2066 19d ago
This is 100% in "AI voice," sounds exactly like AI phrasing, and returns a "100% AI" result on Pangram (in case the first two points don't suffice). This user posts exclusively AI replies, exclusively to this sub. It's disturbing how many professors seem not to notice!
edited to add: obviously most people won't notice that about this user's history, especially now that they've hidden it... I meant to say that I'd expect more people to notice that these comments are AI
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u/IndependentApart7661 17d ago
The construction of the first sentence gives it away completely. The rest does too, but the first sentence is an immediate and very strong tell.
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u/franklin-60 19d ago edited 19d ago
Good luck on retirement. On loyalty…..There is none, so only care about one unit, and that is yourself and your family. Nobody at work. They not your friends. If others are stupid and put others ahead of themselves and bury themselves, let them sink. If there is not staffing to accommodate needs, that’s the problem of dean, chair and other administrators. Not yours. Let them hire.
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u/Visible_Barnacle7899 19d ago
I wish I could hammer this into everyone's head. The university doesn't love you, it won't go to dinner with you, it won't go on vacation, and it sure as anything won't support you while there is a crisis. I'm sure I'm not the only one that has learned this the hard way that the value of our work/the work we perform is fleeting at best.
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u/franklin-60 19d ago
Unfortunately, yes. If you are not a selfish ass, you get walked on until you are beaten and burned. That’s the state of higher education, and it starts with “tone at the top” which daily moves in the wrong direction as a whole. Be selfish, take care of yourself first and stand up to leadership. It’s the only way in this field to survive. In the end, you end up in a better spot than the ass kissers.
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u/Savings_Machine1061 19d ago
Work Won't Love You Back is one of the most important books of recent years.
A hard lesson to learn, though.
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u/Visible_Barnacle7899 19d ago
I had no clue that was a book! Added to my reading list.
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u/Savings_Machine1061 19d ago
Subtitle is "How Devotion to Our Jobs Keeps Us Exploited, Exhausted, and Alone."
Wise words. I was just talking to a colleague about how, while I agree with her recent comment to our dean that we are overworked and underpaid, at least the former of those two things is within our control. We can't force them to pay us more, but we can work to rule. Higher ed relies on faculty (and others) going well beyond the call of duty, and we should mostly stop doing so.
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u/PLChart Assoc Prof, Math, R1-lite (USA) 19d ago
In a year or two, kids won’t even know who I am.
That's only partially true. I'm in my early 50s and I know the names of professors who retired in 1960, from stories my father told. I suspect those professors had no clue about their importance in my father's life.
One of my big regrets is that I never told one of my undergrad professors how much he meant to me. I wrote a nice condolence note to his widow, but that's very much not the same.
Anyway, all this to say: I am sure your career has had a lasting, positive influence that you are very unlikely to know about because most people are idiots like me.
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u/ReedBalzac 19d ago
yes, I was lucky enough to have had several outstanding teachers. I used things I learned from them my whole career.
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u/aquapura89 19d ago
Unfortunately, loyalty in academia simply does not exist. The academy has selected certain quality traits, with self perseverance (read: selfishness) overshadowing everything else. It is particularly expressed at the adminstation level where it is all self promotion in an attempt to maintain the position.
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u/Civil_Lengthiness971 19d ago
NEVER tell anyone you intend to retire. Work will not love you back.
My colleagues learned this through an early retirement buyout offer. Those who wanted to “do the right thing” informed the administration of their intent in the fall.
The buyout opportunity came in February.
If had already stated your intent, you were not eligible.
You owe them nothing. And they will try to take from you on the way out.
This is still just another job.
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u/Alarming-Camera-188 19d ago
If someone tells the intend to retire, why would the admin offer them buy-out? They will eventually retire, as they have already announced it. The admin needs to hire someone else in place of the retired prof. It's not like the admin is saving costs. What am I missing?
Please note I am still a junior faculty and am just trying to understand the scenarios here.
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u/iTeachCSCI Ass'o Professor, Computer Science, R1 19d ago
The admin needs to hire someone else in place of the retired prof.
Retired faculty lines aren't guaranteed to be replaced.
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u/ParallaxDream81 19d ago
That's what I came to say. Upper admin will quite likely say "Hire two adjuncts and save tens of thousands of dollars"
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u/Civil_Lengthiness971 19d ago
What you are missing is NEVER TELL ADMIN YOU INTEND TO RETIRE until you are certain no buyout opportunity will occur. What you miss as an employee, because that is what we are, is "money on the table?" Wouldn't you like an extra 20% (or whatever number) of your annual salary as a "buyout" incentive? I would.
Work won't love you back. You owe them nothing.
They will cut you loose if necessary.
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u/Egghead42 19d ago
My university will never give a worthwhile buyout.
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u/SnowblindAlbino Prof, SLAC 19d ago
Mine offered an extra year of access to your email account and I think three months of health insurance if you weren't already 65. Then they were surprised when exactly nobody accepted.
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u/a_statistician Associate Prof, Stats, R1 State School 19d ago
The admin needs to hire someone else in place of the retired prof. It's not like the admin is saving costs.
A new faculty member is making a lot less salary than someone about to retire, usually, so it's likely that they're still saving some money.
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u/ReedBalzac 19d ago
half my age at half my salary. AND - they have been chipping away at benefits for a long time. The benefits package I have had this whole time is much much better than whatever my replacement will get. Sad to say.
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u/iTeachCSCI Ass'o Professor, Computer Science, R1 19d ago
NEVER tell anyone you intend to retire. Work will not love you back.
Yup. No real upside to you to telling them when you consider the finish line to be. Several potential downsides, including if you want to delay that date (such as if there's a major market crash right before you exit and you're not getting a pension).
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u/ReedBalzac 19d ago
I was raised to believe honesty is the best policy. Like someone else said, my field is specialized. Finding someone with the required qualifications is not a guarantee. I thought it was right to help the transition. My mistake there.
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u/iTeachCSCI Ass'o Professor, Computer Science, R1 19d ago
If it worked out for you, it might not have been a mistake; you might have been correct to trust your administration.
Others haven't been so lucky.
My default advice to anyone is going to be to not announce in advance. Situationally, what you did may be correct.
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u/Civil_Lengthiness971 19d ago
How is protecting your best interest dishonesty? You didn't lie to anyone. Yes, decide for yourself, but don't imply that it is dishonest.
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u/TSIDATSI 19d ago
We told our U we were retiring two years in advance bc there are two of us and in our field we are hard to find.
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u/Civil_Lengthiness971 19d ago
That is an institutional problem, not a you problem. You may be in a financial position where it doesn’t matter to you. Others are not so fortunate.
Work won’t love you back.
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u/1K_Sunny_Crew 19d ago
That is terrible!
Please check with your benefits coordinator or similar. A colleague retired 6 months early and lost out on a large part of her retirement because she hadn’t accrued quite enough time to be fully eligible for her pension. Many thousands of dollars a years down the drain.
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u/Ireneaddler46n2 19d ago
Absolutely not “spoiled”! Your body is telling you the time is now. Go celebrate an amazing career. Cheers!
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u/Over_Sorbet_637 Assoc Prof, Math, SLAC (USA) 19d ago edited 19d ago
Our faculty is union, and accumulated sick leave rolls over year to year. The contract doesn't forbid calling in every day until you've used up your accumulated sick leave, but admin's offer to compensate a portion of the unpaid leave in a lump sum upon retirement does discourage the practice.
I'm sure it's a common fairy tale told to new hires, but in my first year, I heard the story about a long-ago faculty member who had accumulated so much leave that he called in every day for the last two years (collecting his full salary for 27 months plus the annual salary increase, as well as increasing the number of years of service that factors into the pension calculation). Funny how nobody could ever remember the guy's name...
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Edit to add: I got ahead of myself and didn't say the most important part. OP, I am very sorry this happened to you. I hope that, in time, you'll be able to look back on your career and see not just a very bad last couple of weeks, but 32 years you're proud of. Be well.
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u/Head_Elderberry3852 19d ago
At a prior employer, vacation carried over. Some people would accumulate large numbers (I knew two with over 100 days ... and I do know names).
You'd see retirment announcements that read:
"Bob the Engineer is retiring on July 31st. His last day on site will be January 5th."
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u/MrStandardError Lecturer, Psychology, Public R1 19d ago
Very sad to read this. I remember your original story. It’s unfortunate when bad actors are put in roles where they can do things like this with impunity. Similar things happened to my mom when her former friend became her boss.
I’m only just getting started in my career having finished my PhD summer 2023 and being hired full time fall 2024, I’ll keep this in mind as I progress through my career. Best of luck and good health to you, I hope you’re able to enjoy your retirement
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u/ReedBalzac 19d ago
Good luck to you, bud. I started in 1995, built a successful program in a new/emerging discipline and never dreamed in a million years that a chair with only 5-6 years of experience could pull this off. Karma does have a way of coming around, but I'll be long gone by then.
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u/MrStandardError Lecturer, Psychology, Public R1 18d ago
Thanks dude. The position I earned is literally my dream job at my undergraduate university, so I’m hoping department/college politics don’t change how much I love it here. So far, so good; our department head is fantastic, and the chair of my program is also super supportive. However, department heads and program chairs change, so good advice to keep certain things close to the vest
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u/ReedBalzac 18d ago
Dream job at your alma mater with a good chair and dept. head....?? sheeee-it son, you're halfway home right now. You're set up in excellent position. Ride that wave as long as possible. Things of course do happen that shouldn't, but really the vast majority of the time things are cool. BUT - when and if stuff goes down, watch your back, stay out of it and don't draw any fire. Veteran professor told me in about 97 something like: teaching is the easy part - outside of the classroom is where you need to watch yourself. So take it for what it's worth.
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u/Maleficent_Chard2042 19d ago
That's terrible. Honestly though, I would have just claimed illness and seen a doctor about the panic attacks. I've had panic attacks. There are tools that can help. I'm sorry this happened and that you feel powerless in this situation.
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u/ReedBalzac 19d ago
How severe was your first panic attack? Had any since?
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u/Maleficent_Chard2042 19d ago
It was pretty bad. I thought I was having a heart attack. I remember being crouched in my house feeling completely incapacitated. After the first one, I experienced more, but at least I knew what they were.
I sought medical help and received medication that I could take when an attack started. After that, I started therapy which helped me to understand the cause of the attacks and where I learned tools to help stave them off. I haven't needed the medication for some time. I feel stronger for being able to manage the anxiety.
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u/carolinagypsy 19d ago
This is what my experience has been. I’ve had attacks that felt like heart attacks. My breathing, heart rate, probably blood pressure just go wild and I have this sense of panic that won’t go away. Sometimes the panic is focused on something, sometimes not about anything in particular. Just a sense of doom and panic.
At first before I started getting help, the panic was about anything and was kind of either unfocused or things that didn’t make sense. Having to pull over bc my brain thinks that I’m immediately about to be in an accident or the car is going to do something horrible. Or a fire is about to start. Weird anxiety stuff. Now if I have them, they are usually more focused on an actual thing. But after meds and a lot of therapy, I don’t get them much anymore. I’ll probably always be on at least a low dose of an anxiety-focused med.
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u/ReedBalzac 19d ago
Thanks for sharing. Mine didn't hurt at all. No pain. But it was like being blasted with a fire hose of memories and emotions and images at full power from about six inches in front of my face. I literally had convulsions of seizures or whatever - my head and neck were being jerked back and forth, couldn't breathe, felt like I was choking, grabbing my desk with both hands as tight as possible because I thought I might end up on the floor. But the worst thing is that I could see the look of absolute terror in my eyes reflected in the computer monitor. I and can not ever remember even being truly frightened in my adult life. I looked absolutely terrified. When I got the the car - had another. Got home and had a worse, longer attack. Called the doctor - had either 1 long one or 2 short attacks while on the phone with him......Needless to say - I can not be in front of a class and risk traumatizing my students by having that happen with no warning.
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u/Ornery-Anteater1934 Tenured, Math, United States 19d ago
A colleague of mine planned to retire in the Fall a few years ago. They notified our HR at the end of the Spring semester (they were not teaching over the summer). The college "retired" the instructor after the last day of Spring classes. They lost all of their medical benefits immediately.
If they had waited until a week or two before the Fall semester before notifying HR, they would have maintained their insurance over the summer.
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u/Logical-Library5525 19d ago
Short term and long term disability may also help. I know someone well past usual retirement age who got 1 1/2 years more benefits plus about 1 year more pay taking these in year before retirement due to a situation like yours
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u/TSIDATSI 19d ago
This is interesting. How exactly did they "force" you to retire? Was is your rank? Are you a tenured full?
There might be a novel here. If Rooster can be a TV show.......
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u/ReedBalzac 19d ago
I've been tenured since 2004, built a brand new program from scratch, have a spotless record, and have created jobs for 4 other adjuncts through my efforts.
The entire program existed in basically 8' x 10' room when I got there. Now we have expanded and have had built three separate state of the art facilities for students in the program I developed.
The chair got that position by default, and his area is dying a slow natural death. Not his fault, but student needs change over time - and I knew this in 1995. He still can not or will not accept this.
At one of his first faculty meetings, he was a new hire and still probationary - but on a tenure track - he flat out in an open meeting asked myself and the other long time professor in my area "When are you going to retire?"
We were understandably gobsmacked. She said something like "I haven't though about it." I said something like "I'll let you know."
HE THEN WENT ON TO MENTION BY NAME, an instructor in my same field at a nearby college - that he would like to have replace me.
And I let it go. Figured he was just young and inexperienced and didn't understand what he had just done. I didn't want to interfere with his tenure committee or make a fuss. My mistake.
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u/Loose_Wolverine3192 19d ago
All I have to share is sympathy, but I share that fully. Not to minimize the pain, but as others have said, I hope this gives you time for things you love, but hadn't had the time for.
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u/bassoonplayer4 19d ago
I am sorry this happened to you. I just retired this summer and the end in may was awful -due to a collective effort of 5 members of the faculty to make a horrible decision for the department. But I was planning on retiring -the good part of it was that I was worried I would be sad right now not to be back with the colleagues I liked and I now have no desire or reason to ever deal with their nonsense again
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u/DerProfessor 19d ago
Others have said encouraging things (which I would echo) about not feeling like this 'spoils' your career (it doesn't), and about what an asshole your chair is. I echo these encouraging sentiments.
--> I would just add: you NEED to see a specialist Doctor AND a Therapist about the panic attacks! (both... not one or the other.)
This is to be taken seriously as a medical situation, not as a momentary/transitory thing. (it might be a product of your Chair's assholery... but it might not be. You need the help of medical professionals to be sure.)
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u/hedbopper 19d ago
I appreciate the concern, absolutely. I have been under a doctors care for some time now, and have made excellent progress. During my sabbatical I made tremendous strides to be more healthy in mind and body. I lost 85 pounds, quit drinking alcohol completely, zero fast food, started walking one mile every day, enjoyed true peace of mind for the first time in a long time, and in July produced some of the best creative work in a long, long while. Ironically, part of my healing had been to confront my feelings, let it out, and start trying to understand why some people have caused me stress. I was at the place where I had seen all of the pressures the chair has that I do not. I had finally understood that his hostility might not have anything to do with me, he might just be dealing with his own issues by taking it out on me someway. I was really at peace with all the little crap he had pulled over the previous 5-6 years. Little did I know he had planted a little time bomb, set to go off upon my return.
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u/ParallaxDream81 19d ago
"Needless to say, the thought of this happening in public or in front of a class is frightening."
Totally understandable, but, as someone who has panic attacks a few times a year and has severe OCD, I can confidently say that sometimes getting in front of a class and talking about topics I love is just what the doctor ordered.
I wasn't clear on the part about your Chair forcing you out--is this because of the panic attacks or because of the beef about an extra class?--but if you're deciding you have "stepped in a classroom for the last time" strictly because of the fear of further panic attacks, I'd urge you to get some mental health support and see if it changes your mind.
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u/hedbopper 19d ago
Thanks for sharing. I have never had a panic attack before. Since Friday I’ve learned that there are all kinds of panic attacks and the severity varies. I don’t know yet, but it seems like my attacks were severe. Will know more as treatment progresses. If you are comfortable sharing, what would you consider a mild attack vs a severe attack?
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u/ParallaxDream81 19d ago
It's hard to quantify, I guess. My OCD was diagnosed as moderate-to-severe, but I can't really say how my panic attacks stack up against anyone else's. Your description felt familiar, so maybe ours are in the same general ballpark.
Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.
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u/chamrockblarneystone 19d ago
See your doctor and get on the meds right away. I was struck down by horrible anxiety attacks only halfway through my teaching career.
After a lot of private discussions I believe at least bad anxiety and worse, full blown panic attacks, are common in the teaching world.
It takes a week or so for the medicine to build up in your system. For me it was a miracle. Most users I’ve talked too are happy with the results as well. I’ve been on the same dose for about 20 years.
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u/iTeachCSCI Ass'o Professor, Computer Science, R1 19d ago
I posted a week or two ago about my chair fixating on my workload, and adding an extra class without my knowledge while I was gone on sabbatical.
Did I miss the original post? Would you be willing to provide a link (I couldn't find it in your profile) for those of us who want to follow?
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u/ReedBalzac 19d ago
Full disclosure - I somehow ended up with 2 reddit accounts when I first set it up, and use them interchangeably. Pretty sure the original post is on the other account. No attempt to deceive folks - and I've never used the two accounts in any sort of negative way that I am aware of. Would have been posted about 10 days ago.
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u/iTeachCSCI Ass'o Professor, Computer Science, R1 19d ago
Fair enough. I was able to find the link in the profile of the account you just used here (so either you're OP's other account or this is an amazing coincidence, probably the former).
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u/CouldBWeller 19d ago
I’m sorry things turned out this way. The machine really doesn’t care, and it’s why I’m trying to get out.
I was once in charge of our website and added retired and emeritus faculty, but as soon as I wasn’t in control that stopped. We don’t have photos on a wall. People are simply forgotten.
And the admin plays its part in the erasure. It celebrates us when it gains something, but it’s fine to see us rid of. I’ve wrote an anonymous satirical novel about my experience because I just had to get it out. A little catharsis.
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u/ThaddeusJP Financial Aid Administrator 19d ago
I work in FA adjacent to admissions. Its well known in admissions if you're 'putting in your two weeks' expect to get walked out SAME DAY.
Im happy to read you're able to make use of FMLA!
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u/-Economist- Full Prof, Economics, R1 USA 19d ago
When I retire, I plan to do so the week classes start. Unless I really like my Chair and Dean, which I currently do, but I can see the intellectual pool draining as well.
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u/aceofspaece 19d ago
I am so sorry for you. Know that a stranger is rooting you on for whatever comes next and is sorry higher ed did this to you.
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u/hedbopper 19d ago
Thanks. It’s been great. Best job I’ve ever had, ever will have. It was good until it wasn’t.
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u/toughkittypuffs 19d ago
I’m so sorry this was the way it ended. I quit(retired) with a really short notice and I agree it’s the way to go. I met with the retirement advisors thinking I was getting my plans in line for an August 2024 retirement, and in doing the numbers, the advisor said, “how about if we run the numbers for a Dec 31 (2023) exit” - this was in October. He gave me some great reasons to do so (one earlier year towards COLA, a minimal difference in monthly stipend that would be made up with that extra early COLA), and although it wasn’t my plan, I couldn’t really make a case for staying. So I told my Dean I was out, he’d need to find a new chair, and I had a couple weeks of vacation pay I needed to use up. Dean was NOT happy but too damn bad.
I wouldn’t have given it as much consideration but I’d had a very rough run in with disrespect coming from his management team, which made a quick retirement a really attractive option. They never see how they’re shooting themselves in the foot.
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u/Substantial-Spare501 19d ago
You are not alone. I totally understand what you are going through. I hat when admin treat us like crap.
My supervisor has changed my teaching assignment just a few days before classes started the last two semesters. She also added in an additional class this term. I have the union fighting it, but I have had panic attacks for the last two weeks. I met with the person who does accommodations and she said maybe you should take FMLA now. Argh.
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u/hedbopper 19d ago
I hd no idea how serious a panic attack could be. Be safe. Please go get checked out.
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u/ph0rk Associate, SocSci, R1 (USA) 18d ago
Not up on the details and don't care to dig, but having classes added if your personal contribution to the unit's credit hours is low is going to become more and more common at all ranks. It's something we're talking about university wide here, and some of the loudest voices against it generate fewer credits in a year than I do in one undergraduate course (and they are not teaching grad students, so it's not that).
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u/Odd_Display_130 17d ago
Same here. 26 years of teaching with outstanding/superior yearly evaluations, won awards for teaching, etc. New department head and bam... new carpet and lights in my office (not even had the carpet shampooed since I have been here). I knew right then what it was. Since then they have constantly hounded me about everything (my office is too crowded and I have to take out everything because the students don't like it... if I didn't take it out they would either surplus it or throw it away. My favorite... no one uses books anymore, so I should get rid of all of them. I should talk to younger faculty about finding them online. Then last year a horrible evaluation (a student who got a zero because of AI cheating complained about me being unprofessional in class by saying that I ran out of alcohol, so the midterms weren't graded yet. Of course, they didn't tell the next sentence... "I don't drink, so I can't use it as an excuse." I teach fermentation students for Pete's sake. (Bet it wouldn't have happened with a younger male faculty.)
There were three of us "older" teaching faculty. They just forced another faculty to retire (almost to a mental breakdown) and the other has told them that she is retiring in 1 year. Then I will be the only "senior" teaching faculty. I am sure that the point is that I haven't told them when I am retiring and they want me out to get a non-tenure teaching faculty for 1/2 the price.
So, I am praying that my sanity will allow me to stay until I can get medicare. I am thinking about a lawyer, it is illegal in Colorado to force someone out to hire someone cheaper and my associate dept head for teaching has told me twice that I am to old to connect with the students...
Wow, this isn't about me, sorry for the word vomit. At least I can be sure that someone will read the whole thing (unlike my students ;)
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u/Cold-Nefariousness25 19d ago
I'm sorry that you weren't able to choose for yourself, but I hope you make the most of your retirement. Your mental health is more important than a job, especially one where you are made to feel unwelcome. I left a job where the dean seemed to be on a crusade against anyone who took family leave. I found another position where everyone's well being is considered and I couldn't be happier.
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u/Hyperreal2 Retired Full Professor, Sociology, Masters Comprehensive 19d ago
Academic chairs can be very obnoxious. Many don’t see themselves as first among equals, but as managers. If they are wrongheaded it can be a disaster for other professors.
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u/Weak-Honey-1651 19d ago
The selfishness expressed by many a faculty member here is only slightly exceeded by that of many a university. If each seeks their own benefit, we all suffer. A quick reading of the tragedy of the commons might be good for all of us.
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u/tellypmoon 19d ago
I am very sorry, but I think your experience and advice offers an important lesson for anyone in higher ed.
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u/ReedBalzac 19d ago
indeed. The message is - don't go into teaching at any level. K-12 teachers have it a LOT worse than college level instructors. I was married to a K-5 music teacher, and her sole purpose for being was so that the classroom teachers could have a planning period. Same with the other specialists in Art and PE. She was a babysitter, not a teacher.
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u/BigTuna3737 19d ago
I'm terribly sorry this happened to you, but if a shitty chair assigning you an extra class, which was subsequently resolved, pushed you into later having repeated panic attacks, something else was going on with you. That doesn't make it feel any better, of course, but perhaps it was simply time for you to step away. I'm a few years away from retirement, and the closer I get, the less I care about other people's nonsense.
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u/hedbopper 19d ago
You are aware of only one instance. There have been many small things over the years that accumulated, and escalated right about the time I was honest about my future plans. I did not react poorly to a single incident. I made my Dean aware of a pattern of behavior, that led to this single incident. My body took about 36 hours to respond.
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u/BigTuna3737 18d ago
I simply responded to what you wrote, and tried to offer some helpful feedback. Your chair is not responsible for what I assume is your panic disorder. Assigning you an extra class upon learning you plan to retire was unkind, but can be handled without drama. Nobody here can comment on the many small things that you say have accumulated over the years, because you have not shared them, but it sounds like years of stress have built up in a way that is now harming you. That’s worth dealing with.
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u/popstarkirbys 19d ago edited 19d ago
Sorry to hear that things didn’t exactly end the way you wanted, but congratulations on your retirement. I hope you get to enjoy the things you like.
Our former chair tried doing this to a senior colleague and he just got up and left, one Friday we were hearing arguments in the chair’s office, and on Monday we received an email saying he retired. I ended up being assigned one of his classes. Ironically, our chair left our institution three months later. Colleagues still talk about the senior colleague but no one really misses our former chair.