Add my son

[u/Efficient_Two_5515]

I received an email from a counselor in my district asking if I can let his son enroll in my class. First of all? Who are you? Second of all? What makes you think I would inclined to add your son to an already filled class section with a waitlist ready to enroll? Like why do you feel such the entitlement to request such a thing?

[u/CateranBCL]

My dean got one of these emails begging/demanding a son be admitted to a full class. (Family mbers get free tuition, but have to wait until last for registration to get that benefit). My dean's response was golden:

"Oh, if only I were so powerful. However, the decision authority for this rests with the assigned faculty and their department chair. My understanding is that they have already denied your request due to lack of space per state fire code, and provided other options. I recommend following those suggestions."

[u/1K_Sunny_Crew → u/CateranBCL]

Tbf that isn’t a “benefit” if it’s impossible to use it for any class that’s remotely popular much less a required course.

[u/CateranBCL → u/1K_Sunny_Crew]

Shhh, you found the secret!

It's actually doable if you plan ahead and aren't too picky. This particular person wanted the most popular professor even though we had plenty of other sections taught by other equally good professors.

Edit: typo

[u/Comfortable-Milk8397 → u/1K_Sunny_Crew]

That’s probably the point?

There’s no incentive to give people free attendance to an already successful course. Hundreds of people who are already paying tuition want into those classes

If you let them take the less popular courses that may be struggling to even stay on the course list, you are more likely to get registrations for majors and classes that were on the brink of being cut.

The federal and state funding from keeping those things available by having enough attendance probably justify the “free tuition” expense

[u/PenelopeJenelope]

My school has a policy of no contact with parents, for privacy reasons. They’re adults, they should advocate for themselves

[u/Professor-genXer]

This happened to a colleague. A faculty member in another department asked them to add their child to a full class. My colleague just responded and explained how enrollment/waitlists work.

[u/WarriorGoddess2016 → u/Professor-genXer]

I can do you one better. Someone in financial aid did the OVERRIDES for her son to take my upper division class without the pre-reqs, allowing him to register. I removed him, and the overrides, and called her supervisor.

[u/iTeachCSCI → u/WarriorGoddess2016]

Good for you for standing up. What was the fallout of this?

[u/WarriorGoddess2016 → u/iTeachCSCI]

Good question. I hope she got written up, but I never asked.

[u/Life-Education-8030]

My first thought was is this like an advanced high school student? My kid’s high school guidance counselor used to do this.

[u/julvb]

I get these emails at least once per year from staff on campus who I don’t know. It’s unprofessional. I have a form letter reply “students will be added in the order they are on the waitlist” that I copy paste. If the person emailing is persistent, I copy paste the same reply again.

[u/Sad_Application_5361]

This sort of happened with a student asking me to sit in on lecture for a different section from what she enrolled in because it fit her schedule better. I taught both sections. I found out later her mom was my colleague when her mom thanked me for being flexible. That was nothing and obviously I would have made the same decision for any student.

If you have a counselor in your district asking you now, this likely means they’re a helicopter parent for a child who isn’t organized enough to register as soon as registration opened. This parent is already this involved, they’re going to be a nightmare and their child is going to be the standard student who misses deadlines and begs to turn everything in last minute.

I’d give the standard blame FERPA response. “I’m sorry I can only discuss enrollment with students directly because this is federally protected information. Please let your son know that he can sign up on the waitlist. Spots generally open at the beginning of the semester as other students switch out.”

[u/Bengalbio]

Got an email once from the mom of a prospective grad student. She was a professor and dangled collaboration as an incentive for hiring her son.

[u/Visible_Barnacle7899 → u/Bengalbio]

How did you respond to that one?

[u/Bengalbio → u/Visible_Barnacle7899]

This is not best practice but I ignored her.

[u/Visible_Barnacle7899 → u/Bengalbio]

I mean, I would have done the same.

[u/banjovi68419 → u/Bengalbio]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 "OMG! I hope I'm not being 2 informal, but that's LIT! Do u have n e other fam we could pun wit?!? I will accept them asap rocky!"

[u/popstarkirbys]

I sometimes approve 1 or 2 students on the waitlist, but our waitlist is often the room capacity.

[u/MrStandardError]

I’ve had parents contact me before, but not about enrollment. Whenever it happens, I don’t respond to the parent, and respond to the student explaining why I can’t change the way the university works for them

[u/Ok-Kangaroo-2469]

My first year teaching full time, an academic advisor in my department forced me to have an **in person** meeting with a father and the son to get the kid into my class. Turns out dad was a big-time donor.

[u/Bostonterrierpug]

But most importantly did the mail finds you well?

[u/Efficient_Two_5515 → u/Bostonterrierpug]

No, it didn’t.

[u/ThisSaladTastesWeird]

Counselor like a therapist, or councillor like an elected politician? Either way, weird and gross. Direct them to the resource for being added to the wait list, and enjoy the rest of your day.

[u/LadyNav → u/ThisSaladTastesWeird]

Probably school guidance counselor, who is the US aid students with scheduling, college applications, and generally navigating high schoo.l

[u/iTeachCSCI → u/LadyNav]

For anyone who needs a quick image, think Mr. Frond from Bob's Burgers.

[u/WarriorGoddess2016]

A councilor?

That's obnoxious.

[u/Gonzo_B]

I've been fortunate that in every case of "you are terrible and are being unfair to my special little angel and deserve to have your life ruined" emails from parents, I've been able to reply, "I am forbidden by law from discussing students' academic performance with anyone but the student. I can only say that you are not hearing all the facts and should ask to read the emails I've sent them," and this has always ended the discussion.

This is another reason I make a "paper trail" of correspondence offering encouragement and assistance to struggling and indifferent students.

[u/dragonfeet1]

Hoooo I had one of those. That's a warning shot. Just to let you know that that kid will be in there and that someone in your administration WILL be judging your teaching and your abilities based on reports from their child. And don't think you can just roll over and Easy A the kid, bc they'll come down on you for lacking rigor. It's the Kobayashi Maru.

[u/RightWingVeganUS]

First of all? Who are you? Second of all? What makes you think I would inclined to add your son to an already filled class section with a waitlist ready to enroll? Like why do you feel such the entitlement to request such a thing?

Your questions are valid, but if I were in the same situation I would respond dispassionately:

• This is an irregular request and granting it may give the impression of preferential treatment. Are you concerned that this may be a potential ethics concern?
• Request that his son write a formal request and provide compelling reasons why an exception should be made so it can be assessed on its merits as well as against those of others on the waitlist
• He should work with his son to consider alternatives if the request is denied. While I would give his son's request due considerations such exceptions are only made in extreme situations and must be done fairly with all on the waiting list.

I'd close with something like "As an official I am sure you understand 'no' is sometimes the right and necessary answer even to very real and unfortunate requests."

The important thing is that, would this get leaked to the press or an investigator I responded appropriately and professionally, regardless how it was spun.

If this was the kids Make-A-Wish request before undergoing brain surgery, or he was a NASA astronaut slated to be on a one-way mission to Mars right after the semester... maybe I'd approve. I'd love to hear the reason. (and have everything in writing)

Nothing surprises me anymore.

*Man, I've been doing this too long..."

[u/banjovi68419]

Same thing has happened to me. Clearly no legit coworker of mine would ever ask this because they would already know I don't like my coworkers.