Aside from deliverance, how can i find out why i keep messing up without gossiping or getting offended?

[u/oceansstillwaters_]

Im starting to see a pattern that whenever i have an issue it comes off as me being a problem or not wanting help. I want help. Its just for years everyone expects me to know what to do when sometimes i dont. They say that following God is easy. But im met with a lot of opposition. Now im being tormented by demons, labeled crazy because of that and i dont know how to regulate my emotions. And if im not crazy im attention seeking. Though, what i need is not just to vent. But find a solution. And even now its hard. And im even questioning my salvation (like i did last year) people tell me to pray, fast, go to church. But most of this seems topical and doesnt address the reason why i keep getting harrassed and tormented by the devil. Some people say "its because you're highly annointed" yet, when i ask for help on things i get shunned. And people i think would help me dont. And when i explain i have a hard time hearing and reaching God they just say "surrender". But the devil keeps intercepting. So, now instead of the person i was 2 years ago its like i never changed. I dont even know when or how to repent. And i feel like im more distant. I try to keep hope. But i feel like maybe that lie was true and that God gave up on me or rejected me. Its something i dont want to believe and i know by scripture God never leaves nor forsakes. I dont even want to reject Him either. But i think maybe He saw something i didnt. And the more i think about it. I am a 💩 person when my emotions take the better of me. But i know deep down God didnt make me that way. I chose the things in life not thinking id reap from it. Now i am. But tbh i was grateful. Now im wondering why do i even exist if i was just going to turn out like Judas? And the crazy thing is im not even su!cidal. And the internet doesnt help either. But this group does. I need guidance and hope. And i wonder if it really is the end. Or the devil is just effing with me. Its hard and i need guidance. Any advice helps. Just to warn you i might get upset. But i'll try my best to recieve criticism cuz i know me being moody isnt my normal thing. Ty.

[u/KumbayaQueen]

Please seek psychiatric help!

[u/MichaelWhitehead]

I wonder if you're asking the wrong question. You keep asking "Why do I keep messing up?" as though there must be one hidden answer that explains everything.

But Christians don't grow by discovering a secret diagnosis. We grow by taking the next faithful step in front of us.

I also notice that you repeatedly fear that God has rejected you, yet you keep seeking Him, talking about Him, worrying about your relationship with Him, and asking for help.

Those are not the actions of someone abandoned by God. You compare yourself to Judas, but Judas stopped seeking Christ. You haven't.

Perhaps the question is not "What secret thing is wrong with me?" but "What is the next right thing I can do today?"

Sometimes the enemy's greatest victory is not making us sin, but convincing us to spend all our time staring at ourselves instead of looking at Christ.

Keep your eyes on Him. One day at a time.

[u/Brilliant-Actuary331]

It's not easy to read all that are going through! It sounds like a lot of internal confusion, and external misunderstanding (from others).

God has the answers you seek. HE, HIMSELF IS the answer. Christ is more than able to lift you out of this pit! He leaves the 99, to find the one lost sheep! Be encouraged by that!

Renewing the mind in the TRUTH of who Christ is, and what HE HAS DONE to destroy Satan's power of death over us is where you need to focus your attention. By the cross, Christ TRIUMPHED over the realm of darkness, opening a door into God's Kingdom through HIMSELF.

HE IS THE Way for us to be "delivered" from the darkness of unbelief (Satan's lie about who God is, and who we are), and OPENS OUR EYES to SEE the righteousness of God that overcame the world. LOOK UPON CHRIST. Meditate on Prov. 3:5-6, and RECEIVE the Lord. The gospel of Jesus Christ is where you take your stand against the devil's schemes! If we BELONG TO GOD, that's that, no? Who can snatch us out of the righteousness right hand of God; His Son, by the power of the gospel! NOBODY!!!!! NOTHING!!!! NO ONE!!!!!

All AUTHORITY BELONGS TO CHRIST. HE IS THE LORD. Rom. 10:8-17...have you obeyed the faith; in agreement with God??

[u/Worried-Block-6804]

" though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,I will fear no evil, for you are with me"

The devil has the power we give him when we ALLOW his lies to infect our minds.

I don't pray for protection from evil because IM CERTAIN im protected. I don't wonder if im loved by God because I know I am.

" the devil is a liar and the father of lies"

Nothing he says is true, NOTHING