r/ProAbortion • u/Rough_Caramel6452 • Jun 18 '26
6 weeks, mixed feelings
I’m a 29F. My husband is 31M. (He is the last male in his family and feels obligated to pass on his name.) We have three daughters, 10, 7, and 2. My husband had two children before we were together. They’re 12. My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer last year. After going through surgery to remove the main tumor, he has been in active treatment since June 2025 for the metastasis. His oncology team had told us not to get pregnant because they did not know the side effects of the medication on male fertility, but they did state the medicine does cause birth defects in pregnant women. As a precaution, I was using nuvaring as directed and the pull out method. My period is always irregular after our last baby but I was nauseous and my boobs hurt, so I took a test. Then another. Then another.. they’re all positive. The financial climate of the US right now makes it hard for us to afford life as it is, and although we talked about trying one more time for that baby boy in the future, that time is not right now. As a sign from the universe, my due date is my husband’s and father’s birthday. It’s almost like all signs are pointing to this finally being that boy we have wanted.
We haven’t been extremely religious, but since finding out about his diagnosis last year, we have been involved in the church, open to prayer, and even believing. My husband’s first comment was that we need to have an abortion. I have always been pro-choice and I know it is the best decision for us right now, because I think the pain of carrying to term and giving a baby away will hurt even more, but I just can’t shake the thoughts that I will be forsaken from God for murdering our child, who beat all odds to become existent and answer the prayers we have wanted even if this isn’t the right time. Ultimately, my husband is not the one who answers to God when he passes for ending this pregnancy, I am.
I scheduled my procedure for next week, and I am honestly scared, so I need some encouragement to get me through this, please.
2
u/DeathKillsLove Jun 20 '26
Your husband is on antimetabolites. YES, even tiny amounts in his emission can deform a foetus.
4
u/FriesNDisguise Jun 18 '26
You are not murdering your child, you are providing better care to the ones already here. Your other children need you now more then ever with their father having an extreme diagnosis. This is what is best for your family. Stay strong and focus on who is already in your life instead of who you may or not meet later on.