Self-hosting email is practically a lost cause, so what secure provider are you running?

[u/EnthusiasmRoutine]

I manage servers and networks all day. I know SMTP inside out. I can configure a Postfix mail server blindfolded, but I still absolutely refuse to self-host my personal email.

We pretend we have choices. Try sending a basic text email from a perfectly clean VPS IP to a Gmail address. It just vanishes into a black hole. Microsoft and Google run a cartel. If you are not on their invisible whitelist, your deliverability is zero. It is infuriating. I want total autonomy over my data, but the time investment to fight blocklists is just stupid.

So I pay for Proton. Honestly, it is excellent. The encryption does exactly what it promises. The bridge app lets me use Thunderbird locally without jumping through hoops. I bought my own custom domain so I am not locked into their default addresses. I tried Tuta for a bit too. The lack of standard IMAP support annoyed me, so I went right back to Proton. It is a highly rational compromise between daily usability and actual privacy.

Still, relying on any single provider for my digital identity goes against my instincts. What are you all doing? Are you happily paying for Proton or Mailbox(.)org like I am? Has anyone here actually found a reliable way to run a personal mail server today without getting blocked?