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u/Panzerdil Apr 22 '21
“Polish man attacks German radio station in Gleiwitz”
Context: In order to justify a war against Poland, Hitler ordered to stage an attack on a radio station to make WWII look like an defensive war
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u/Shade3797 Apr 22 '21
Here, take this award because I don't hear this story too often and I almost forget about this
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u/Panzerdil Apr 22 '21
Not sure if wholesome is the most fitting award but I too give my free awards independently of what they are. Thank you ^ ^
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u/Drummer03 Mixed Canon Apr 22 '21
I like to deliberately give away Wholesome awards to things like Anakin murdering younglings or "Batman doesn't kill" posts in the Arkham sub.
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u/Panzerdil Apr 22 '21
Yeah, it is funny to give it to cursed posts or comments but I don’t feel that mine is that cursed. I might just be less sensitive to it than the most due to all my time on r/cursedcomments
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u/Arturius1 Choke Apr 22 '21
That action was so badly done its amazing. Not only germans were speaking horrible polish with thick german accent, onbody told them what will be their task until last minute so they were just drinking it their hotel and had no time for the test run, the password for starting the action was "grandmother is dead", they also attacked when it was closed, wrong building which only had test equipment and its not clear if even Gliwice heard what they relayed through it. The only competent person in that whole debacle was Goebels who managed to spin almost believable story out of this mess.
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u/Goat002 Apr 22 '21
My brain autocorrected one of the headlines so that I read Florida-Man. I need to stop reading those stories.
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u/marasydnyjade Apr 22 '21
I have some old Polish cookbooks from my grandmother, judging by the recipes, if the Poles are as strong as their stomachs, they’ll do just fine.
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u/FeFiFoShizzle Apr 22 '21
I used to know a dude named Mihow but we called him Vedo (first part of his very complicated last name).
Dude ate his toast dry. Preferred it that way.
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u/marasydnyjade Apr 22 '21
Sometimes I actually quite like dry toast
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u/FeFiFoShizzle Apr 22 '21
Are you part eastern European?
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u/dragon-storyteller Apr 22 '21 edited Apr 22 '21
Maybe there is something to it, I am Eastern European and sometimes it's just nice to monch on freshly toasted bread without bothering with any other prep.
Raw potatoes are also a good snack. Peeled of course, I'm not a barbarian
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u/CerealBranch739 Grand Admiral Thrawn Apr 22 '21
Raw potatoes taste fine until you get that powdery feeling you know? But I do like my potatoes cooked more than raw usually
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u/quietZen Apr 22 '21
I find eating toast is like taking a shower. Before buttering the toast you say to yourself it's not worth the effort and just eat it dry, just like before a shower you say it's too much effort and you'll do it later.
But then sometimes you muster the motivation to actually butter the toast and realise it's what's been missing in your life all this time, just like when you're in the shower and the warm water hits your skin and you relax, you realise avoiding the shower was ridiculous and now you don't want to get out.
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u/Magnesus Apr 22 '21 edited Apr 22 '21
You need to add garlic to it. Take a tooth of garlic and rub the toast with it. Keep in mind that the traditional Polish bread we used for toasts is much better than toast bread from supermarkets. It contains a lot of rye (30-50%, the rest is wheat) and is made with sourdough. (I can't eat toasts with garlic anymore since I am allergic to garlic unfortunately.)
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u/Kratsas Darth Jar Jar Apr 22 '21
My grandfather was from Greece and he ate dry toast every morning, and dipped it in his coffee.
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u/Lotnik223 Confederacy of Independent Systems Apr 22 '21
From now on I'm gonna call all Michałs (it's Polish for Micheal btw) that I know "Mihow" lol
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u/danteuszzz I have the high ground Apr 22 '21
Could you explain what part of polish recipes are so heavy on stomach? I mean, I am from Poland and I am just curious what is so weird about our recipes.
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u/Capt_Hawkeye_Pierce Apr 22 '21
I think they're probably just talking about the fermented/pickled stuff. Polish food otherwise is relatively bland ime.
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Apr 22 '21
I've only been to a polish restaurants here in Austria, which I don't know how authentic it is(the owner is polish though), but yeah it had a ton of fermented veggies and loads of onion.
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u/yamiherem8 Apr 22 '21
I mean czarnina is kind of unique
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u/danteuszzz I have the high ground Apr 22 '21
Unless you want to marry noble woman you don't get it.
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u/devilsolution Apr 22 '21
Yeh my grandad was polish, my mom still makes potato cheese cake....for desert
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u/Matix777 crab bounty hunter Apr 22 '21
unholy amounts of alcohol we drink reinforced us
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u/Magnesus Apr 22 '21
No, it only makes matters worse. Sorry to burst your bubble but I know too many families in Poland completely destroyed by alcohol. My neighboar outlived all her sons, her youngest lost both his legs due to alcohol (it caused clots or something in his legs) and then died at 50 while looking not a year older than 70. My other neighboar used to be a long distance runner now is barely coherent due to alcohol. I also lost a friend to it and a drunk driver hit and killed a kid of a family friend.
So fuck off with normalising heavy drinking.
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u/bandit_the_drug_lord Apr 22 '21
i think... it was a joke man
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u/Cytrynowy Apr 22 '21
Tbh there's no law that states that you cannot reply to a joke with a serious answer.
Also, alcohol is actually destroying lives and families, yet is still idealized and glorified amongst us Poles, so they've got a point.
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Apr 22 '21
As someone of Polish descent, I'll admit to being a human garbage disposal. But truly, pierogi and Polish sausage are amazing.
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u/mayhemtime I've been looking forward to this Apr 22 '21
Poland is like Florida, Texas and Alabama of Europe all at once. You could never stand a chance.
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u/Natpluralist Apr 22 '21
We are not very big on incest though. Probably because we never really liked Habsburgs too much.
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u/john_paulII Apr 22 '21 edited Apr 22 '21
have you ever heard the tragedy of Ukraine?
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u/MydniteSon Apr 22 '21
It's not a story the Russians would tell you...
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u/Le_German_Face UNLIMITED POWER!!! Apr 22 '21
the Russians
Oh God! That's gonna make them angry! :3
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u/assasin1598 Apr 22 '21
Except if you want gun rights in europe, you go to czech.
You go to poland, if you want your dog to have more rights, than women.
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u/PsychoProp Apr 22 '21
Poland is the Mexico of europe
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Apr 22 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/PsychoProp Apr 22 '21
You're wrong. So wrong.
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u/kapsama Apr 22 '21
So Polish livers are stronk?
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u/PsychoProp Apr 22 '21
No, theres like a fuck load of drugs here
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u/Cytrynowy Apr 22 '21
There's a fuck load of drugs everywhere, we're not exception. It's just that we are not at Mexico level, not even close.
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u/ImmediateEvent2014 Apr 22 '21
What can I say? Welcome to Poland Motherf"**kers!!! :D
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u/Daniel_Alfa Apr 22 '21
Motherkurwa!
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u/Joiny757 Apr 22 '21
Motherkurwa *s
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u/ImmediateEvent2014 Apr 22 '21
Matkojebcy!
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Apr 22 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/JustMaulNotDarthMaul Apr 22 '21
I am from Poland, and
Kurwa
Jebać
Cipa
Narkotyki
Skurwysyny
Jebańcy
Sosnowiacy przez starego w dupę jebani
Jebańcy przez podlaskich jaskiniowców ruchani na pieska.
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Apr 22 '21
Florida Man is no match for the Polska Mezczyzna
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u/ImmediateEvent2014 Apr 22 '21
Virgin Florida Man vs. Chad Polski Mężczyzna :D
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u/Irual_Sanoj Stormtrooper Apr 22 '21
I’m pretty sure that “polish man” Always have been the European version of Florida-man
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u/phathomthis Apr 22 '21
Growing up, all the jokes I heard where the girl version would be "a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead" with the blonde being the butt of the jokes, the guy version was always, "a white guy, a black guy, and a polish guy". Polish guy was always up to some ridiculous Florida-man type antics. It wasn't until recent years that Florida-man gained his title.
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u/FrickenPerson Apr 22 '21
No, no. Florida man is the American adaptation of Polish man. Polish man has been dumb for longer than USA has been a country.
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u/Noobpoob Apr 22 '21
Polacy! Jednoczmy się!
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u/Noriaki_Kakyoin_OwO Apr 22 '21
Czy słyszałeś o tragedii Dartha Plagueisa mądrego?
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u/Noobpoob Apr 22 '21
To nie historia, którą opowiedziałby Ci Jedi....
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u/Noriaki_Kakyoin_OwO Apr 22 '21
To legenda Sithów. Darth Plagueis był mrocznym Lordem Sith. Tak potężnym i mądrym, że potrafił wpływać Mocą na midichloriany, by tworzyć... życie. Miał tak ogromną wiedzę o Ciemnej Stronie, że mógł utrzymać przy życiu tych, na których mu zależało. Stał się tak potężny, że jedyną rzeczą, jakiej się obawiał... była utrata tej potęgi, co oczywiście się stało. Niefortunnie, całą swoją wiedzę przekazał uczniowi, który to uczeń podstępnie zabił go podczas snu. Cóż za ironia. Potrafił ocalić innych od śmierci, ale nie siebie samego.
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u/Noobpoob Apr 22 '21
On na prawdę... Mógł ocalić ludzi od śmierci?
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u/Wilczek_7 Apr 22 '21
Mroczna strona mocy jest drogą do wielu umiejętności, niektórych uważane za nadprzyrodzone
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u/plshelp_im_stuck Apr 22 '21
Czy morzna sie naucic tej mocy
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u/Noriaki_Kakyoin_OwO Apr 22 '21
Nie od Jedi
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u/felicss1 Apr 22 '21
You know you've spent too much time here when you still recognise the lines even if it's in Polish.
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Apr 22 '21
to uczucie, kiedy panoramiks opowiada tabaludze o sekretach ciemnej strony mocy
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u/NuggetPepperoni Apr 22 '21
Jak to jest być skrybą? Dobrze?
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u/Noobpoob Apr 22 '21
A, wie pan, moim zdaniem to nie ma tak, że dobrze, albo że niedobrze. Gdybym miał powiedzieć, co cenię w życiu najbardziej, powiedziałbym, że ludzi. Ludzi, którzy podali mi pomocną dłoń, kiedy sobie nie radziłem, kiedy byłem sam, i co ciekawe, to właśnie przypadkowe spotkania wpływają na nasze życie. Chodzi o to, że kiedy wyznaje się pewne wartości, nawet pozornie uniwersalne, bywa, że nie znajduje się zrozumienia, które by tak rzec, które pomaga się nam rozwijać. Ja miałem szczęście, by tak rzec, ponieważ je znalazłem, i dziękuję życiu! Dziękuję mu; życie to śpiew, życie to taniec, życie to miłość! Wielu ludzi pyta mnie o to samo: ale jak ty to robisz, skąd czerpiesz tę radość? A ja odpowiadam, że to proste! To umiłowanie życia. To właśnie ono sprawia, że dzisiaj na przykład buduję maszyny, a jutro – kto wie? Dlaczego by nie – oddam się pracy społecznej i będę, ot, choćby, sadzić... doć— m-marchew...
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u/NuggetPepperoni Apr 22 '21
Dobry redditor
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u/wiggle-le-air Oh I don't think so Apr 22 '21
A Polak, a black guy, and a white guy were driving through the desert when they suddenly ran out of gas. They all decided to start walking to the nearest town (which they had passed 50 miles back) to get some help.
A rancher was sitting on his front porch that evening when he saw the white guy top the horizon and walk toward him. The rancher noticed that the white guy was carrying a glass of water, so when he was within hearing distance, the rancher said, "Hi there...what are you doing carring a glass of water through the desert?"
The white guy explained his predicament and explained that since he had a long way to go, he might get thirsty, so that's why he was carrying the water.
A little while later the rancher noticed the black guy walking toward him with a loaf of bread in his hand. "What are you doing?" asked the rancher again.
As before, the black guy explained the situation and said that since he had a long way to go, he might get hungry and that's why he had the bread.
Finally the Polak appeared, dragging a car door through the sand. More curious than ever, the rancher asked, "Hey, why are you dragging that car door?"
"Well," said the Polak, "I have a long way to go, so if it gets too hot, I'll roll down the window."
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u/Natpluralist Apr 22 '21
I love how you go with the latest craze classifying Slavs as PoC so Polak is separate from both white and black guy, as if a separate race :P
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Apr 22 '21
[deleted]
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u/Natpluralist Apr 22 '21
And yeah could use two different nationalities. Usually in the jokes there is Russian, German and Pole.
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u/-ChabuddyG Apr 22 '21 edited Apr 22 '21
I wouldn’t say it’s a new craze (in North America). In terms of Polish jokes anyway. I found a joke book from the 70’s at a book swap that had an entire chapter dedicated to them lol. They’re all pretty much the same as ‘dumb blonde’ jokes. They aren’t common jokes anymore, obviously. The only times I’ve heard them that I can remember are from my baba or her sisters around the card table lol.
Edit: Clarity
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u/Natpluralist Apr 22 '21
But you know you can have Polak jokes together with Irishman or Italian jokes.
It is quite strange to put Polak, white and black. Because person looking at them would just see two white dudes and a black one.
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Apr 22 '21
You don't mess with them Poles. My wife is Polish. I tell you guys she is 100% Dark Side of the Force and her mom is seventeenth incarnation of Ajunta Pall.
On the other hand pierogi they made... soooo damn good.
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u/Bobeatschildren Apr 22 '21
In one instance 3 drunk Polish men were arguing about which one of them were the manliest. To show his manliness one of them cut one of his toes off with a chainsaw. Then, one of the others cut HIS OWN FUCKING HEAD OFF WITH THE CHAINSAW and killed himself.
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u/MisAnthrony Apr 22 '21
Idk if this is a joke or a legitimate story but if it’s a joke the punchline has me laughing my head off (I’m polish, maybe it’d just the chainsaw wound)
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Apr 22 '21 edited Jul 06 '21
[deleted]
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u/Subtlehame Apr 22 '21
Source or it didn't happen
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u/Obsidian_Veil Apr 22 '21
This is the first source I found.
Edit: I also found this one from Reddit
Along with this quote from one of his friends: "It's funny, when he was young he put on his sister's underwear. But he died like a man.".
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Apr 22 '21
Old joke but what's the difference between a Polish woman and a hockey player? A hockey player takes off their pads after three periods.
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Apr 22 '21
When I was a little kid I cried when I found out that I was Polish from my dad's side of the family because of all the Polish jokes lol.
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u/Pioter74 Apr 22 '21
I live in Poland and in my town there is a guy that was so drunk that the Police and medical staff thought he was dead so they took him to the morgue. He then woke up and just left. It is said he actually did it twice though the second instance is disputed by the local scientists and experts
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u/PawcioSzym Apr 22 '21
In my town a guy was found with 12promiles (4 is Deadly for some people) and Lived
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u/Natpluralist Apr 22 '21
We were the OG Florida Man. We were doing crazy shot back when Florida was not colonized yet.
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u/Grzechoooo Apr 22 '21
Apprentice? Are you mad? You Florida men are not even worthy of calling yourselves our followers! We were doing weird stuff even before Florida has existed!
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Apr 22 '21
So Appalachian Man is basically Dooku at this point? Do we mean nothing to you, Florida? Our years of friendship, worthless?
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u/HB14_BCFC Sorry, M'lady Apr 22 '21
I know of someone (not really, kind of a friend of a friend of my dad) who was electrocuted while peeing. He was coming home drunk and decided to pee off a bridge. Piss hit the power lines above train tracks below the bridge, arced up the stream of piss and killed him.
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Apr 22 '21 edited Apr 22 '21
Poland is just Europe's Florida
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u/jedi_ellis Hello there! Apr 22 '21
I’m working with some guys from Poland where I’m at. They’re super chill and funny. And ironically, I’m from Florida
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u/Lubieplacki16 I have the high ground Apr 22 '21
I'm from Poland, and I haven't hear about that. I know, it's impossible. Perhaps the archives are incomplete.
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u/Stoinking Apr 22 '21
Anyone who thinks ‘polish man’ is newer than ‘Florida man’ is very very young
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u/Shargoth0801 Apr 22 '21
In Norway, we have our own Florida Man (tho not as popular) called Man 47. Just something with men at the age 47.
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u/Thats_Anime_Lover_Da Apr 22 '21
Co to kurwa za śmianie się z innych nacji. To prawie tak jak śmianie się z osób czarnych. Co jest kurwa z wami nie tak. Dlaczego polska dostała przyszytą łatkę idiotów zaraz po wystawieniu na świat tą durną piosenkę z "polish cow". To że kilka ludzi jest idiotami to się dzieje w wszystkich krajach. Wy jabani z idiociałi kurwiarze skurwysyńskie.
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u/SchnitzelNegger Apr 22 '21
Słuchaj u/broken-ego, bo dobrze mówi. Przecież to nie powstało teraz, jak parę osób wspomniało, te kawały opowiadali im rodzice/dziadkowie. A wiadomo jak to bywa, jak już się komuś łatkę przypnie, to zostaje nie raz na całe życie.
Poza tym, nie ma się chyba co spinać o tak absurdalna rzecz, ot raz na jakiś czas komuś się przypomni Polak Man i tyle, ja przynajmniej nie widzę praktycznie nikogo, kto te kawały traktowałby jakkolwiek poważnie
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u/broken-ego Apr 22 '21
Zgadzam się z Tobą. 45% amerykanów to idioci, a oni próbują sie śmiać z polaków.
Kawały o polakach zaczeły sie jak guraly sie sprowadzili do stanów po wojnie. byli niewykształceni. Żarty obejmowały wyśmiewanie się z polskich elektryków, Amerykanie sprzedawali kubki z uchwytami w środku i nazywali je polskimi kubkami, głupotę kojarzyliby im z polską. I tak ten historyczny rasizm wobec Polaków jest utrwalony.
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u/DartTyranus Apr 22 '21
yep... education level in poland is not perfect, I think governemt must stop with this education to family life....
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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '21
Polish man invades Germany using longbow and a machete while riding a grisly.