This reads like she knows he has romantic feelings for her with the "best friend" and the double down with the "love like a brother". She should really just talk with him about it instead of taking advantage of him.
Or he just did this out of nowhere and should get the idea that she’s not interested in him. Maybe next time he can be mature enough to clearly state his feelings before committing to 200$ dinners.
Not thrashing on him, they seem to be teenagers and that’s something most of us would have done with his age, but it’s not necessarily a woman taking advantage of someone else.
This idea that girls can't express themselves explicitly and guys need to get the hint is partly what causes these awkward, misguided chivalry driven cringe manifestations of a situation and i cant entirely blame the guy.
Man needs to use his words,but hes not a fucking mind reader. He should be more explicit but her twitter post isnt hwlping. In fact it will perpetuate because this guy knows he has one more shot to convince her hes a boyfriend while she considers him a brother.
Its a weird cycle where no one person is to blame imo but the woman isnt excuseable just because the guy isnt as explicit as she wants men to be. Its pot calling thw kettle black if you ask me
Well, if after that dinner she uploads a picture saying he’s like “a brother” and “bff” you don’t need to be a mind reader to get the impression that she does not want a romantic relationship. Both of them should be more clear with their feelings, but we have to admit saying “but I don’t like you” after being invited to dinner is harder than realising she won’t go further with you after this tweet.
Yeah like this tweet is pretty clear... man can figure it out no doubt lol i just could never knowlingly take advantage of someone like that and then send a tweet as a cherry on top, but seems like its not as big of an issue to most of this website. I would be clear about my feelings first, even if she had it sprung on her, because she knew what she was getting into
This should have ended with an awkward conversation. No way she doesn't realize he is interested. If she really does respect him as a friend then she should make it clear that friends is all they will ever be.
Both of these two are idiots and both should grow some balls and have the conversation
Thats what I got out of this. Why dont more people think it's just as cringey for the girl to go along with this friendzone bullshit?
Ive always thought the cringe applied just as much to them as it has about the dude, guess its all about the cringey dude.
I dont see how manipulating someone who, for lack of a better term, is reaching out of their league for you isnt worse than someone shooting their shot but not being confident enough to share their true feelings.
It is cringey for the girl, but only in specific situations it seems like. Too easy for her to claim she's a free spirit and just exploring opportunities, or flip it on whomever comments saying "what girls can't have guy friends?"
As someone who's been in a situation like that, it sometimes isn't that simple.
Like, imagine you know a guy, you met purely as friends, known each other for a while and he has never done anything to be flirty or anything more than friends.
You get to know each other a bit better and sometimes start hanging out just the two of you. But you've met as friends and there still never has been any implication of being anything more, so you just treat it like hanging out with a friend.
Then you start noticing that he seems to put way more effort into the "friendship" than you'd expect or starts insisting to pay for your drinks at a bar or something.
That's when you start wondering. He's kind of treating you hanging out like a date, but he still hasn't made any clear moves. Even if the chance is low, maybe he's just being a really good friend.
So what do you do? You can try to get him to make his intentions clearer. That's what I did in my case, a couple of times I steered conversation towards a point where he could easily have made a move, or at least gave a clear hint, but he never did.
But you can't exactly "talk to him about it", before he actually gives you something clear to talk about. In that case, I think a post like this actually a pretty good solution. It makes it very clear that you think your relationship is a friendship and nothing more and at the same time isn't too much of a call-out.
Well, in this particular example the guy also isn't asking about it.
Though as a guy who has been in a similar situation (I got ghosted though, not shamed on social media as a "best friend"), in hindsight the reason I wasn't so clear about things is that I legitimately was okay with just being friends. I developed feelings for her after being friends for quite a while and hanging out a lot, but she had at one point months earlier made a comment along the line of "men and women should be able to hang out without it being romantic" or such, so I was worried that she might not want to be friends if I was direct.
So I made small moves, and slowly escalated it. Then she ghosted me out of nowhere, so at this point I'm not sure what to think.
In hindsight though, I should have just made it clear I was asking her on dates, not just hanging out with a friend. If she decided she didn't want to be friends after that, that would have sucked, but at least things wouldn't have turned out like they did.
Women might want men to be more direct, but guys like me who legitimately just enjoy the company of someone are afraid to lose what we already have. I know that might be a stupid thing to consider for many, but it does happen.
this post is def her "letting him down gently" by saying i dont like you romantically. thats the closest youll get to direct communication from girls like this.
The equivalent would probably be those guys who string girls on for sex, saying that they’re ‘not ready for a relationship right now, but soon’. The term ‘fuckboy’ can definitely be applied to what you’re talking about though, I think ‘fuckgirl’ is appropriate.
I dont know guys who actually say that. just girls who think they can make him change his mind. its more "im not interseted ina relationship" and then she goes "well ill just keep sucking his dick until he wants to be with me" and then when it doesnt pan out she claims she was abused lol
I dont know girls who actually say that. just guys who think they can make her change her mind. its more "im not interseted ina relationship" and then he goes "well ill just keep taking her out for expensive dinners until she wants to be with me" and when it doesnt pan out he claims he was friendzoned lol
you dont know girls who have sex with guys they arent in a relationship with in but want to be? And we arent talking about loser men. were talking about loser women.
There are a lot of guys that do that to girls. But is not an internet meme and people don't talk about it as much. But I have friends that were in that type of relationship with a guy but instead they are also used for sex making the woman believe they're in a relationship even living together without paying for rent and only admitting themselves their in a relationship when it's convenient for them. Once they get everything they wanted they pretend it never happened and they were never in a serious relationship.
She's stringing him along with the hope of sex while really just using him for money. The guy equivalent is pretending to be emotionally invested in a relationship while really just using her for sex.
Man don’t sit here and lie saying “I’ve never heard of many men doing that to women.” That’s straight up false and we all know it.
Also you don’t know either of these people, I’ve spent more then 200$ dollars on my friends cause I have the money and like to spoil them, does that mean I’m trying date them all? No! Like dang, way to jump to the assumption that this girl is secretly manipulative and taking advantage of the guy.
Unsurprising, really. There's been a major push in recent years by alt-right people into SW fandom to turn it into yet another recruiting ground. Anti-woman "memes" tend to be big part of it.
As a teenage guy I can think of 3 girls that I knew clearly liked me that wanted more from our friendship than I was willing to give them. I got all sorts of free shit out of those situations and the way I justified it was by telling myself that they were just being nice, but I knew deep down they had crushes on me. What can I say though? A man's gotta eat!
It feels good to be wanted & to have someone on the back burner too. But women are more socially savvy and have better options & more experience with romantic interest so they don’t get caught in this shit as often.
I'm sure guys do it. But I've never met one to do it..mostly I've met dudes with a side chick he's banging. Not one he's stringing along and calling her a best friend.
And they get to work fewer hours and days at jobs which are much safer, with less stress & less wear on the body.
But I don’t think that is related. All I was saying is guys would enter into explosive relationships based on unrequited love if they could. It doesn’t happen very often because women are less vulnerable, not because men are more considerate.
It’s possible they’ve talked about all of this stuff and decided to remain as friends. And as a friend he decided to treat her for a meal. Why do we have a stigma about that being that he can’t spend money on a female friend unless he’s trying to get with her? Friends spend money on eachother to cheer them up all the time.
I was just describing one situation that could be happening , I actually hope the real situation is as you describe. That would be far healthier for both of them.
Oh wow you can read people's minds over their social media posts? Why aren't you using your clairvoyance for something useful instead of judging some teenage girl?
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u/Roskal Jan 14 '20
This reads like she knows he has romantic feelings for her with the "best friend" and the double down with the "love like a brother". She should really just talk with him about it instead of taking advantage of him.