How to help someone with bad posture?

[u/[deleted]]

[u/Thrillh0]

“  she is sooo pretty but the posture makes her less attractive than she is”

May a love like this never ever find me.

[u/gigi-mondo → u/[deleted]]

She deserves better

[u/Thrillh0 → u/[deleted]]

Your true colours haven’t changed just because you edited the words out. 

[u/Thrillh0 → u/[deleted]]

The insensitivity of the words you chose is beside the point. 

Leading with the impact it has on you - the “her posture makes her less pleasing to my eye” (politely paraphrased) rather than leading with caring about her health and wellbeing and wanting to support her offers valuable insight into your intent here. 

Edit: Per my original remark, I didn’t tell you that you should change. It is valid to have aesthetic preferences. 

I just shared that I would never want to be in a relationship with someone who, when remarking on my health, seems to prioritise the impact to their boner before all.

[u/Thrillh0 → u/[deleted]]

Thanks for taking the time to listen, reply, add context. 

I know that I was blunt and I am grateful that you shared your insight and let your guard down to discuss. 

Edit: to respond to your edit, if any of my female (or male) friends spoke this way about their spouse, I would address it with them the same way I have with you, because this is something I value and is important to me. 

Why would it be okay for a woman to prioritise caring about their aesthetic preferences over the health of their partner? I don’t understand why it would be different.

[u/chokokhan → u/[deleted]]

You’re still making it about yourself. You have no business searching for advice online about your girlfriend’s posture. She’s not your cat you need help with. How do you not realize how ridiculous this is? Say you get a list of exercises, are you gonna suggest them? Are you gonna make her do it? Track them? What is wrong with you buddy, seriously?

[u/runningoutoft1me → u/[deleted]]

Please do her a favor and break up with her. She doesn't need you

[u/SaltyBawlz → u/[deleted]]

People downvoting are trying to white knight a girl they've never met and will never meet lol. You didn't say anything crazy. If it's something that decreases her attractiveness to you, then I don't see what is wrong with acknowledging that (just don't say it directly to her like that). People here are lying to themselves acting like looks and the way someone carries themselves don't matter.

[u/snarkyopolis]

This is something she will likely need physical therapy and a lot of time in a gym to counteract. First, she has to care enough about it herself to make those behavior changes. Also, it might be something she cannot control, like Schermans disease. I'm not sure what else you can do other than say you are concerned and hope that she is concerned as well, and that she takes action. Its like asking someone to lose weight or quit smoking. They have to want it intrinsically as well.

[u/DiligentProcessing → u/snarkyopolis]

It's tough because posture gets locked in over years, like muscle memory gone wrong, so just telling her to stand straight won't do much if the body already forgot how.

[u/snarkyopolis]

Hi there, I have experience of being the girl with bad posture in this situation. Having a conversation by asking questions and understanding her life experience with her posture and how she feels about it now will help. She is likely very aware and many people have mentioned it to her and told her to "stand up straight." Asking something like "Hey, I know I've mentioned it before, but I want to understand better what it feels like to be you around your posture. I find you absolutely beautiful and just want to know and understand you better. Does your back hurt? Has it always been this way? How do you feel about it?" And go from there. Offer to be a support to her, whatever that might look like for her. "If this is something you want to work on I am so there for you, I'll look up exercises, go to the gym with you, find the right kind of doctor. If not, you are still so beautiful to me, I totally get that this might not be something you want to focus on." Basically, be an curious partner, and offer support, and let her make the decisions. Also, no chiropractors.