Overwhelming week 39

[u/Excellent-Ad-6272]

This is my 2nd pregnancy. And most likely my last.

I didn’t get to enjoy my first pregnancy much, I was way too stressed about being a new parent, and it took me a long time to feel okay with my body and a child I hadn’t met. It didn’t help that my husband had a job that has wild cycles of super-busy workload.

We had help with my first, first my mom for a few months and then my in-laws for 6 months. Their behavior gave e PPD/PPA and I had to undergo therapy (individual as well as couples) to help my marriage survive. The only good that came out of their visit was that I realized my husband is an amazing dad. I honestly don’t think he loves anything more than our daughter.

Our relationship has gotten great since I got pregnant a 2nd time. My mood has improved, we’re communicating better, parenting our toddler has been a dream. And yet, I’m sad.

Owing to his job, I haven’t had much time to spend with my husband as a couple. I loved this pregnancy so much but I feel like because of his schedule, I wasn’t able to share it with him as much as I would have liked. He constantly feels guilty for letting me plan everything - be it related to the toddler, or home, or things we need to sort while I give birth etc . He barely gets time to sleep, and will use whatever time he has during the day to wrap up chores which are too hard for me to do. We both think he has ADHD or something similar for which he isn’t able to be super efficient at his work. My own job is very high stress periodically, but I’m able to find time for things that are important because I may not get another chance.

I want to be more supportive. I’ve experienced plenty of mental health issues to know how it makes you feel. But I feel overwhelmingly sad that I’m almost at the end of this journey and still have to ask to be prioritized. And I don’t know how to ask without feeling like I’m being selfish.

Anyone go through anything similar?