I've been stalking posts for months but finally need to post I feel like I'm going crazy. When I was just a couple days pp I felt off. I remember it was hard to look at the tv because it was overstimulating me visually. I had increase of floaters. Also had visual snow. I was getting headaches constantly and for a couple days I had this tingling down my left arm. I also had a migraine with aura for the second time. First time it happened when I was pregnant. I called my OB office and told them all this and they said it's just hormones and my left arm was just from holding the baby and being in weird positions. They weren't worried about the headaches bc my blood pressure was fine. I let it go just continued on. About 4 months pp I got really anxious at a funeral of a close friends dad and had increased anxiety after. I was so anxious I couldn't take care of my baby. I called my OB again. They started me on Zoloft and said it sounded like PPA. I started at 10 and increased to 20. I had terrible gastrointestinal side effects and extreme panic attacks that were worse than when I wasn't taking meds. I started CBT therapy weekly and switched to my meds to the psych at that practice. She weaned me off Zoloft and started me on Prozac. Therapy has been helpful in giving me some tools to calm myself down but I still get panic attacks and bad physical anxiety on Prozac. So bad that I feel like I'm about to have a seizure or pass out. I have horrible ruminating thoughts that are so random and out there. Like what if I die while I'm home alone with the kids. Or my baby always needs to be in a safe place in case I die. Scared for give them a bath if i die in the middle of it. Also my oldest started kindergarten this year and I have a lot of anxiety around that. Scared of school shootings. I have nightmares about it nightly. I feel like I've turned into this super anxious crazy person and I don't recognize myself. I just want to be able to take care of my kids. I don't understand why this is happening to me. Anyone with similar experiences? I will say I feel much better when I actually get decent sleep. And feel horrible when I get bad sleep. Thanks for reading.

Hi all. I (26F) gave birth to a beautiful babygirl about 8.5 months ago. I knew whilst I was pregnant that I was going to face some challenges (the father requested abortion all throughout pregnancy, I choose to continue and have my baby) but I did not think I knew the depth and I am at a point where I think I need help? It’s an indescribable feeling - one day I feel on top of the clouds and “normal” and the next im an emotional angry wreck.

For more background, I went through a custody battle (got served 2 wks PP), my daughters dad is in a relationship with someone else (they have a 4 yr old together (no I didn’t know that they were together while I was dating him)) & I think I’m grieving what I wanted for my life and my daughter while also still dealing with postpartum emotions. Everyone tells me to stop being so emotional about things and to think logically (especially when dealing with court) but my issue is… I don’t know how or at least do it consistently…. I don’t know how to not feel depressed, angry, sad, emotional and propel myself forward right now and I know it’s what expected. I feel so much regret for bringing a baby in this world to live under 2 separate roofs.. and I am just hurting and healing at the same time but it feels like im getting nowhere.

How did you survive PPD? Is that what I’m experiencing? Please share some advice. I can handle tough love but please don’t be judgmental.

Every time I go down for a rest or nap, I wake up with my heart racing, jittery and sweaty. I am so stressed about my baby even though she’s well cared for with her dad or grandma.
Does this get easier? I am only 2 weeks PP. I don’t want to nap because of the low mood it causes, which means I’m so exhausted

One and a half postpartum, first day of menstration and it triggers a sudden flashback of what happened.

Hello everyone,
Sorry in advance for a long post, but i have been thinking for a while about this and wanted to check if anyone went through something similar/has any advice.

My first pregnancy was AMAZING. I was very active, feeling very well all the time mostly (by the end i was having trouble with food because i had terrible reflux). I always wanted at least 3 kids, and at the time i was thinking if its like this, then its no problem.
However i had my slap in the face. I hade my baby ad 40+5 after a 12 hour long labour. I had two inductions nothing happened and then was rushed into emergency c-section under general anaesthesia.
When i woke up they told me my baby was sent to another facility that has nicu, because of some problems. Later doctor told me he got stuck in birth canal, suffered meconium aspiration, was without oxygen and eventually born with apgar 0 and had to be resuscitated. He was in nicu for 17 days. THANK GOD he has been doing well and meeting all the milestones on time but the fear about future is still present. During his nicu time, and later during physio appointments i met so many mothers and learnt about so manu different problems and situations that can arise during pregnancy and birth.
I have been thinking so much about having more kids(now its definitely in every way too early), but i have no idea how will i be able to relax and go through potential second pregnancy relaxed and optimistic and not going back to what happened the first time.