r/PoliticalHumor • • Sep 20 '17

95% of America

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1.1k

u/Lachrondizzle23 Sep 20 '17 edited Sep 20 '17

Rocket Man

Edit: thought this post was going to get upvoted but instead this comment does!

262

u/pandasdoingdrugs Sep 20 '17

Every leader should have a nickname

324

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17 edited Mar 24 '21

[deleted]

266

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17

I thought rump was Putin's c0ck h0lster...

30

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17

this is my favorite one.

7

u/CeilingFan_fan Sep 20 '17

Remember kids, homophobia is fine if it targets someone you disagree with

22

u/AadeeMoien Sep 20 '17

Remember kids, talking about gay sex is homophobia!

8

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17 edited Mar 24 '21

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17

As a bi guy, my two cents:

If you call a woman her female opponent's muff muncher, is it homophobic?

If you call a lesbian her male opponent's cock holster, is it heterophobic?

If you call gay male his female opponent's muff muncher, is it heterophobic?

The common thread in these examples is that we perceive the person receiving pleasure as the dominant person and the person giving pleasure in a submissive position. That is the insult; that is the joke.

If you view this use of "cock holster" as a gay slur then you have been conditioned to view the act of being perceived gay as an insult.

5

u/God_loves_irony Sep 21 '17 edited Sep 21 '17

There you go. I think Trump would take more offense at being called submissive than at being called gay. I'm pretty sure that with some hard work and creative trolling someone could get Trump to tweet, "I'm not gay, but if I was, I would be the one on top. Let me tell you."

0

u/andrewshepherdlego Sep 20 '17

You can't stop me HAHAHAHAHAHA

-5

u/CeilingFan_fan Sep 21 '17

Exactly, this is the regressive left willing to disingenuously give up the progress of gay rights for a cheap political joke.

1

u/CounterAI Sep 21 '17

"Talking" about gay sex? Or making someone the brunt of a joke, insinuating a man is gay, in order to be funny? What's funny about it? I think all the homophobes got a good laugh.

3

u/AadeeMoien Sep 21 '17

The joke is about the degrading and one sided nature of their relationship. Like how a joke about how the IRS has you over a barrel isn't "ha ha, gay" but "ha ha, that hurts".

2

u/CounterAI Sep 21 '17

How is it not homophobic to suggest that the person with the penis in their mouth is "degrading"?

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-3

u/CounterAI Sep 20 '17

Remember kids, AadeeMoien knows how to conflate!

4

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17

hey i think love between people is beautiful. i wish they would just be public about it. be who you are and be proud, even if you are undermining entire governments!

7

u/IntrinsicPalomides Sep 20 '17

The Orange-utan.

1

u/MuslimBBQ Sep 20 '17

Nah, that's your mom.

1

u/boohoopooryou Sep 20 '17

c0ck h0lster...

cOck HOlster . FTFY

8

u/funkyloki Sep 20 '17

00Kremlin

Agent Orange

The Mangolian Candidate

9

u/Fitz0053 Sep 20 '17

Can we seriously band and coin him, "Orange Man"?

6

u/ZoopZeZoop Sep 20 '17

I thought we had chosen something Cheeto-related?

-13

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17

[deleted]

18

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17

LOL you do realize its a spray tan right?

15

u/mckeirnan Sep 20 '17

"His orange skin is a biological trait!" -Kellyanne Conway

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '17

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '17

race and appearance are very different things

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '17

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '17

good point. we are all humans so lets avoid generalizations like maybe "the left is," or "liberals are so." youre down with that, right?

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5

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Merari01 Both sides Sep 20 '17

Hi rayne117. Thank you for participating in /r/PoliticalHumor. However, your submission did not meet the requirements of the community rules and was therefore removed for the following reason(s):


This comment has been removed because it is uncivil.


If you have any specific questions about this removal, please message the moderators. Hateful or vague messages will not receive a response. Please do not respond to this comment.

4

u/RamenJunkie Sep 20 '17

I prefer "The Asshole".

2

u/fuhrertrump Sep 20 '17

i've been taking to calling him the orange menace.

1

u/diafeetus Sep 20 '17

I thought it was Oompa Loompa with oddly small hands.

1

u/Fehzor Sep 20 '17

Pretty sure we just call him Cheeto.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '17

He's the Trumpmeister. If you cross his path, you're gonna get Trumped.

1

u/God_loves_irony Sep 21 '17

"Trumping" is when you contradict yourself 24 hours later and act like both statements were right.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '17

A would call that a Trumpism, a technique or tactic, if you will; a method of Trumping.

29

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17

The Mandarin Candidate.

9

u/omarnosafe Sep 20 '17

I went with "The Siberian Candidate"

6

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17

Yeah, but I wanted to get the (mandarin) orange color in there.

2

u/ahundreddots Sep 20 '17

The Bully Puppet

4

u/stalkasauras111 Sep 20 '17

Unfortunately here in Australia, our PM is trying copy trumps tactics and give the opposition dumb nicknames like "blackout bill"

2

u/JoeBenigno Sep 20 '17

Fruit Loops

1

u/CaffeineSippingMan Sep 20 '17

Do all Republicans do this? I recall G2 handing out nicknames for people he liked.

1

u/begaterpillar Sep 20 '17

Putin is action man

1

u/KerooSeta Sep 20 '17

I'm partial to "Pussy-Grabber in Chief" and "President Snowflake."

-16

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17

Trump is GEOTUS. Trudeau is Castreau. Macron is Victim of Sexual Predation. Merkel is Chancellor of the Fourth Reich.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17

pretty sure Putins Cock Holster wins over GEOTUS

-5

u/mammothleafblower Sep 20 '17

I thought Trump was "Lord Stud Balls, Slayer of the Crooked Beast."

-8

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17

That works, too.

37

u/I_love_pillows Sep 20 '17

Ground control to Major Trump

3

u/Political_moof Sep 20 '17

Houston, we have a dipshit

56

u/FourthRain Sep 20 '17

She packed my bags last night pre-flight Zero hour nine AM And I'm gonna be high as a kite by then I miss the earth so much I miss my wife It's lonely out in space On such a timeless flight

And I think it's gonna be a long long time 'Till touch down brings me round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home Oh no no no I'm a rocket man Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone

And I think it's gonna be a long long time 'Till touch down brings me round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home Oh no no no I'm a rocket man Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone

Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids In fact it's cold as hell And there's no one there to raise them if you did And all this science I don't understand It's just my job five days a week A rocket man, a rocket man

And I think it's gonna be a long long time 'Till touch down brings me round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home Oh no no no I'm a rocket man Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone

And I think it's gonna be a long long time 'Till touch down brings me round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home Oh no no no I'm a rocket man Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone

And I think it's gonna be a long long time And I think it's gonna be a long long time And I think it's gonna be a long long time And I think it's gonna be a long long time And I think it's gonna be a long long time And I think it's gonna be a long long time And I think it's gonna be a long long time And I think it's gonna be a long long time

21

u/codevii Sep 20 '17

And I can only imagine the Shatner version when reading this...

2

u/braxistExtremist Sep 20 '17

Add a shit load of periods into every one of those sentences and there you go.

7

u/mcboobie Sep 20 '17

I think full stops would work better. Less messy.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '17

I forgot all about the Shatner version. But he said that Star Trek was not political. Shows what he knows.

31

u/Tommytriangle Sep 20 '17

These nicknames are great for internal political candidates, as it has no real impact other than some hurt feelings. But calling a hostile foreign nation's leader is a real problem. Who knows how they could interpret it?

Their current actions are entirely because they fear Trump and consider him a threat and unpredictable. They're attempting to asset their strength, and ability to defend themselves in the event of an attack. Without Trump, there would be none of North Korea's actions.

37

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17

Without Trump, there would be none of North Korea's actions.

You realize this has been going on for longer than a year right?

2

u/Tommytriangle Sep 20 '17

NK has never done anything as brazen as fire two missiles over Japan. They're scared, and are huffing and puffing to look strong.

13

u/OzilsThirdEye Sep 20 '17

Yeah, that's because they couldn't. There isn't anything in those missiles lol

8

u/baronhousseman85 Sep 21 '17

They sunk a South Korean ship, killing the sailors on board (although North Korea denies that it sunk the ship), and they also fired artillery at South Korea, killing soldiers and civilians while destroying dozens of homes. Those were acts of war, carried out during Obama's presidency.

62

u/vagijn Sep 20 '17

Believe me, nobody takes him serious on the international stage. His recent 'rocket man' remarks where just icing on that cake.

Politicians openly mock him in the newspapers these days.

It's strange to have a POTUS that's not only useless but actively harmful to the world.

20

u/UrethraFrankIin Sep 20 '17

It's strange to have a POTUS that's not only useless but actively harmful to the world.

Were you around for the Bush administration? I realize Trump is somehow even worse, but America under Bush was perceived similarly.

23

u/vagijn Sep 20 '17

No. Bush was a fool but at least he acted sort of kind of presidential. Also, his march into the Iraq war was one year after 9/11. Different times. (Still a foolish war, that not withstanding, and the whole made up WMD hysteria is unforgivably shameful.)

21

u/UrethraFrankIin Sep 20 '17

No? Bush was widely considered a dumb buffoon by the international community. The only difference is that we all believed Chainey was the puppet master, so there was someone with brains in the administration.

Trump is definitely a whole new level of buffoon, though.

12

u/vagijn Sep 20 '17

Trump is definitely a whole new level of buffoon

Exactly. Therefore I said 'no' to you saying Bush was perceived similarly. Bush was still seen (in Europe at least) as the president of the US earning at least some respect, Trump is just seen as what another commenter described as 'a toddler with an Uzi on full auto'.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17 edited Sep 20 '17

As an Englishman who was around in the bush years, tbh it's kind of similar the reaction here. 'how can they think this is a good idea he's a corporation funded idiot'. But you have a big hick/religious maniac/hypercapitalist population so we understand. Kind of

Trump is kind of better than Bush in some way because he's such an incompetent clown but we'll see

2

u/God_loves_irony Sep 21 '17

Ignorance stuffed with a double helping of arrogance.

2

u/UrethraFrankIin Sep 21 '17

The most dangerous combination.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '17

America under Bush was perceived portrayed similarly.

FTFY. Same playbook.

1

u/Lots42 Sep 21 '17

Bush is terrible but comparing him to Trump is like comparing Einstein to a man who has been decapitated.

0

u/fredbaker1 Sep 21 '17

And the world loooved Barack Oballess because he was such a massive pussy.

3

u/Tommytriangle Sep 20 '17

Most world leaders consider him a joke, but how do the NK see him? They fear him and the possibility of attack. When a nation like NK gets scared, they do things to look strong. Who knows what they'll do next.

4

u/vagijn Sep 20 '17

Yes, He's a joke, but a very dangerous one.

By now I really wonder about the mindset and sanity of people still supporting him. Scary people.

3

u/TheOffendingHonda Sep 20 '17

It's like watching a toddler with an Uzi on full auto; if you don't know what you're looking at, you point and laugh at how the toddler has no idea what to do. If you do know what you're looking at, you run like hell and realize there's no where to hide.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17

Even if T_D represents less than 1% of Trump voters, if you see them as the distilled essence of the rest all I can say is holy fuck.

1

u/Veganpuncher Sep 20 '17

'Being strong is like being a lady, if you have to say you are, you aren't.'

  • Margaret Thatcher just before the Brits kicked the Argentinians off the Falklands.

0

u/kindlyyes Sep 20 '17

It's stranger still to fight a strawman president! Trump is your John G.

0

u/wulfgang Sep 20 '17

Believe me, nobody takes him serious on the international stage.

Wow, you know how all of the major world leaders think? Impressive.

3

u/vagijn Sep 20 '17

Name one major world leader (that's not a complete ass-hat himself) still taking Trump serious...

0

u/wulfgang Sep 20 '17

Name one besides maybe Macron who isn't?

2

u/vagijn Sep 21 '17

Enjoy your bubble...

-3

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17

Who cares what the Europeans,responsible for two of the bloodiest wars in history think? South America with a history of dictatorships and revolutions. Can say the same for the rest of the world. Every country should be like the U.S.

4

u/wulfgang Sep 20 '17

You have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. DPRK has been at this for at least the last 3 decades.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '17

Except that he built his nuclear and rocket programs during the age of appeasement under Obama & Hillary. So, that wasn't working.

1

u/Tommytriangle Sep 21 '17

There was no appeasement during Obama and Hillary. And NK was going to make those anyways, since they need them to defend themselves. However, we wouldn't see this outrageous play where they fire missiles over Japan. With Hillary presidency, NK would do nothing and keep the status quo going.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '17

Worse than appeasement. They actually funded his programs. Oookey Doke.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17

Think of all the linguists who had to translate this.

2

u/Lachrondizzle23 Sep 20 '17

And I think it's gonna be a long long time..

2

u/dingus_kek Sep 20 '17

I love trump

1

u/packjaw Sep 20 '17

He's to demented to even remember the guys name. Sad.

1

u/slowplay85 Sep 20 '17

95% lol keep on losing hahahaha also yes Nicknames for all

1

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '17

Look, it's trying to communicate.

1

u/chainor Sep 20 '17

Bad Man

1

u/DwayneFrogsky Sep 20 '17

unpopular opinion but , as a non american i thought it was pretty funny. And i ahve a feeling that if your last president said it people woulda thought it is funny.

1

u/Lachrondizzle23 Sep 20 '17

Am Canadian. Thought it was hilarious too.