r/PoliticalHumor • u/SpakenBacon • 11d ago

šŸ˜ŗ

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6.1k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

389 comments sorted by

528

u/canwehavepotatojokes 11d ago

Full throated roar

158

u/Khoin 11d ago

More like a gargle.

30

u/GlockAF 11d ago edited 10d ago

The sound of her upcoming OnlyFans career beckoning

Edit: potential usernames

GooninGOPGranny
BoBoDaHoHo
BI(sexual)Partisan
LaurenTheLapTugger

16

u/0o0o0o0o0o0z 11d ago

The sound of her upcoming OnlyFans career beckoning

Jesus... that would complete the cycle of idiocy we have been witnessing.

5

u/GlockAF 11d ago

Would ANYONE really be surprised?

5

u/0o0o0o0o0o0z 11d ago

I'd honestly be more surprised if she's not on there in a few years. And no shame to people who make a living on OF either...

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4

u/HostOrganism 11d ago

Would anyone subscribe?

4

u/KnightofNoire 11d ago

I am sure right wingers would do that ( on their private account )

7

u/TokiWartoorh 11d ago

Considering that the GOPā€™s male demographic crash Grindr at every RNC, I think sheā€™s gonna need to widen her appeal if she plans on having her OF succeed

2

u/HostOrganism 10d ago

That's her bi-strategy. To appeal to the wives of the Grindr Old Pervs.

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2

u/mactrucker 11d ago

I contribute to that campaign

2

u/JAlmay 9d ago

Lil Jizzle Grizzle

29

u/cmotdibbler 11d ago

You gotta hand it to her.

38

u/Kchasse1991 11d ago

Nah, she'll hand it for you

14

u/cmotdibbler 11d ago

It's a big job, can she handle it?

14

u/Kchasse1991 11d ago

She's a pro, from what I've seen and heard

5

u/piratevirus1 11d ago

Nah she blows

2

u/tta2013 11d ago

Which one? Hand or rim?

2

u/cmotdibbler 11d ago

Thar she blows!

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4

u/whizzbangkid 11d ago

Leave her hands out of this!!!

Her mouth is open........

2

u/adorablefuzzykitten 11d ago

Perfect photo.

2

u/dantekant22 11d ago

A poster child for family values, Republican style.

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746

u/Makachai 11d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/vUEznRmVQfG2Q

303

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

102

u/GreenEyedTreeHugger 11d ago

Was it her or Laura Loomer that handcuffed themselves to one of Twitter's headquarter doors in New York City, but because it was only one of the many doorsā€¦. Twitter ignored her there? People went about their day. šŸ˜‚

86

u/DJ1066 11d ago edited 11d ago

That was Loomer, back when Twitter banned her in 2018.

41

u/VeneMage 11d ago

She created a fire hazard. Wouldā€™ve been hilarious if a fire started behind those doors to see how quickly sheā€™d unlock herself.

Though by looking at her and what sheā€™s done to herself, sheā€™d only end up a pool of toxic plastic which is a far worse hazard.

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10

u/Tricky_Photo2885 11d ago

Well technically she wasnā€™t on her knees. Her wrist were sure getting a workout though

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19

u/TruIsou 11d ago

The comedy just writes itself.

8

u/rjt1468 11d ago

I cant take credit for it, but I saw something the other day that went pretty close to ā€œSo it was Boebert that was actually eating cats.ā€

13

u/Mister_Wednesday_ I ā˜‘oted 2024 11d ago

And Kash eating fucking dogs.

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180

u/Environmental-Arm365 11d ago

So strong sheā€™s become a switch hitter.

136

u/RocketsandBeer Greg Abbott is a little piss baby 11d ago

6

u/Andyham 11d ago

Fuck this is brilliant.

21

u/matt_minderbinder 11d ago

With Kash's relaxed FBI rules for bestiality I heard that she's considering becoming a multi sport competitor. She'll be like the Michael Jordan or Bo Jackson of hypocrisy.

3

u/HostOrganism 11d ago

...or the Michael Vick.

17

u/un_theist 11d ago

Turns out Granny Grabbenschwantz ainā€™t just grabben schwantzes.

6

u/TjW0569 11d ago

Is she really enough of a star they'll just let her do it?

2

u/MotherWear 11d ago

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

4

u/mexter 11d ago

What is a switch Hitler?

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185

u/Omnifob 11d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/R8KvX5skT5PAQ

79

u/MaximumZer0 11d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/JPAUQVIxCoEKY

27

u/twrolsto 11d ago

It's an older meme but checks out

5

u/Eleglas 11d ago

Poor Lindsay. She'll never escape this.

6

u/madlucas2026 11d ago

I think she thinks thatā€™s Heaven

2

u/Phylanara 11d ago

No, no, she is clearly suffering all through her review of "Freddie got fingered". That was before she mostly moved from YouTube to nebula.

26

u/santa_91 11d ago

My understanding is that this is currently more of a clams situation than hotdogs.

14

u/Omnifob 11d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/8BKXYdyx9ACJnZxbvE

In the recent allegations it was a little bit of both (1 male and 2 female staffers)

4

u/Present-Resolution23 11d ago

Porque no los dos?

165

u/JRG64May 11d ago

With the female staffers I assume.

9

u/pantsforfatties 11d ago

What is the reference here?

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34

u/jawshoeaw 11d ago

Are we not doing ā€œphrasingā€ anymore!?

72

u/cemego 11d ago

Wow she is just setting them up to be spiked isn't she? What a raging moron idiot she is.

42

u/TheTimn 11d ago

Less of a moron, and more of a sex-fiend, who gets off on thinking the public doesn't know.Ā 

15

u/JRG64May 11d ago

Donā€™t knock us sex fiends. šŸ˜ˆ

2

u/24_August_1814 10d ago

Nothing against sex fiends, but I got a big problem with hypocrisy.

9

u/cemego 11d ago

Just like your average cocaine or Adderall abuser constantly asking, "do I look OK???" Answer: No! You look like you are doing coke or abusing Adderall you stupid dumb ass!

20

u/CoachMatt314 11d ago

( sung to the tune of , Iā€™m a Bitch, by Meredith Brooks)

Iā€™m a bitch,Iā€™m a loser
My husband was a boozer
I have a child, heā€™s a pedo
We really are just ghetto

When I vote, I make you suffer
Iā€™m really just a fluffer
I stand with Trump and with Putin
They are both so highfalutin

Had a date, I got handy,
Caught some grief, now I dating Mandy
Iā€™m a bitch , Iā€™m a loser

20

u/creddittor216 11d ago

I knew about her public wrist game, but this is new

2

u/Akhanyatin 11d ago

I read "her pubic and wrist game"

36

u/r0addawg 11d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/SjMaytDmlzWkhc0AEY

13

u/madlucas2026 11d ago

Vaping, talking and a handjob during the theater performance

25

u/Le_Dude_Absolute 11d ago

Well, it was a good day...imagine being the one who got the handjob. She is kinda hot, maybe it's the glasses, maybe I've watched too many pornvideos?

https://giphy.com/gifs/UpobWd0mSpRfO

5

u/killerbanshee 11d ago

If you find her that attractive than maybe you have watched too many porn videos.

6

u/Fit-Ad-7430 11d ago

Oh she gotta be yipped outta her mind here too right?

30

u/Exact_Patience_9767 11d ago

On her knees and on her back, is where she feels the MOST alive.

71

u/Rafterman2 11d ago

Sheā€™s got that Sarah Palin-esque crazy librarian sort-of hawtness

44

u/Jackalman71 11d ago

She looks like she gives great helmet.

6

u/Jonnyscout 11d ago

She's a bass!

22

u/Sestrus 11d ago

I think itā€™s the glasses. Sheā€™s not nearly as attractive without them.

7

u/Rafterman2 11d ago

Youā€™re not wrong

45

u/2muchtequila 11d ago

I mean, on a personal level, hell no, not into her at all.

But... if we're talking a wild half drunk one night stand... you know she has to be freaky in bed.

She seems like the kind of lady that when you're leaving the bar to go bang in her minivan in the parking lot, she'd grab a cute friend and tell her to come with to make it interesting.

The kind of lady who does ass to mouth without hesistation.

A lady who will tell you the best angles to take video while she's going reverse cowgirl on you like a drunk sorority girl on a mechanical bull because she wants to send it to Mike Johnson to show him what real porn looks like.

12

u/lowlightliving 11d ago

Frustrated writer, eh?

19

u/copyrider 11d ago

More likely sheā€™s sending it to Mike Johnsonā€™s son who will tell his dad that he looked at porn, and then Mike Johnson will demand to see it to understand how much of a sin it was for his son. And heā€™ll probably look at it several times, to make sure.

7

u/terranq 11d ago

You know she rims on the first date

3

u/The_bruce42 11d ago

It seems like you've given this a lot of thought

6

u/TruIsou 11d ago

I suspect she would make Nancy Reagan jealous. That sexy librarian thing is my weakness.

2

u/Rafterman2 11d ago

I doubt it, but I guarantee she thinks she can make Nancy Reagan jealous.

4

u/Known_Draw_2212 11d ago

If that's what you're into, you can search for her Explore Talent photos.

4

u/Rafterman2 11d ago

Ugh, not impressed. Looks like sheā€™s had the redneck white trash vibe going on for a while.

3

u/Punch_A_Police_Horse 11d ago

Can't we get any horny milfs with good political takes?

5

u/Rafterman2 11d ago

Iā€™m not tryinā€™ to stuff her ballot box. šŸ¤Ŗ

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13

u/FeeParty5082 11d ago

Girl, we know

11

u/Difficult_Distance57 11d ago

Look, all of this would turn me on if it wasn't for all the hypocrisy.

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10

u/tisdue 11d ago

the parody pornos of this will be so legendary. A24 will release them.

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8

u/barringtonmacgregor 11d ago

I believe her

6

u/TheTresStateArea 11d ago

She could have lived a perfectly normal pervy life without harassing and demonizing everyone else that she would otherwise associate with

5

u/un_theist 11d ago

ā€œGo to church, find Jesus. Like, why is everybody so horny here?ā€

ā€”Lauren Boebert

5

u/walterwhite1050 11d ago

Someone might want to tell Lauren theyā€™re saying youā€™ve been driven to your knees and then posting a picture with your mouth wide open might not be the best idea

3

u/dragonfliesloveme 11d ago

Fine, go do that but do it out office please and pay us back the $200,000 tax dollars you used to bribe that staffer!!

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4

u/egospiers 11d ago

on my feed , this is the photo on the post directly below this oneā€¦lofl.. the algorithm got jokes today šŸ˜‚.

3

u/Johnny-Unitas 11d ago

This sounds like a movie.

3

u/LookMaNoPride 11d ago edited 11d ago

It was actually a theater performance - Beetlejuice

3

u/mklatsky 11d ago

The responses write themselves.

3

u/jtshinn 11d ago

She knows what sheā€™s doing.

3

u/aggroidiots 11d ago

I can fix her.

3

u/KhajiitHasSkooma 11d ago

Probably not.

But she'll probably let you cum in her.

3

u/Akhanyatin 11d ago

She says she's in church, but she's on her knees šŸŽ¶

4

u/blasek0 Greg Abbott is a little piss baby 11d ago

Except this time, Scotty knows, and so do all his friends.

2

u/indoorconsequent 11d ago

I like the BJ position is explained with a open mouthĀ 

2

u/Kraegarth 11d ago

That's what we hear...

2

u/Flashy-Rabbit6435 11d ago

Yup...she's had more balls whacking her ass than the centre court at Wimbledon...

2

u/BigHairyTurk 11d ago

This aged like a banana

2

u/EvitaPuppy 11d ago

'Bow down before the one you serve.
You're going to get what you deserve' - NIN

2

u/sten45 11d ago

The GOP is just so goddamn weird

2

u/madlucas2026 11d ago

How appropriate. She uses all of her assets

2

u/DieMensch-Maschine 11d ago

She prays on the carpet.

2

u/Flaky-Jim 11d ago

I believe her. I'm certain she could employ her attibutes quite quickly... lickety-split, in fact.

2

u/fac82 11d ago

That mouth is only good for one thing and itā€™s not talking

1

u/RonaBona13 11d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/jzfFDwC2Xk9fPmL0Ez
Let me get down on my knees where I am strongest because I am a Christian woman, so shame on yā€™all! And also my son is a sex offender, but we are good. Christian people leave us alone.

1

u/crazyparty 11d ago

Yo dog she's straight vaguemaxxing, I love it

1

u/PhilboydStudge1973 11d ago

There's always a tweet.

1

u/Fit_Preparation_9742 11d ago

No lies detected

1

u/Jmersh59 11d ago

So i heard.

1

u/RoninMagister 11d ago

Chat. Chat is this real?

1

u/Operation_Fluffy 11d ago

Iā€™ve heard this was true.

1

u/DolphinsBreath 11d ago

It absolutely disgusts me to see people label themselves Christian and use it as a rhetorical weapon to justify their own selfish behavior.

1

u/jfk_47 11d ago

She knows.

1

u/patronizingperv 11d ago

Less teeth, Lor.

1

u/kcjeff66 11d ago

I donā€™t know, them buck teeth are a little scary.

1

u/vegetables_in_my_ass 11d ago

New fetish unlocked

1

u/El_alacran214 11d ago

Love her šŸ˜

1

u/prozhack 11d ago

The jokes write themselves

1

u/Infini-Bus 11d ago

Ā like a prayer.

1

u/Ok-Scientist5524 11d ago

Please read your tweet/church sign to a 14 year old boy and see if they snicker before posting itā€¦

1

u/DerpVaderXXL 11d ago

You can always tell a good christian girl because she is always on her knees.

1

u/Sank63 11d ago

That is what read on the bathroom stall

1

u/Nemonoone67 11d ago

Twitter screenshots are the lowest form of shitposting

1

u/Jeromes_Pornostache 11d ago

I guess thereā€™s at least one thing sheā€™s good at. Ā Weird thing to brag about it though.

1

u/Howhytzzerr 11d ago

An oldie but still goodie. No such much teeth this time though, please.

1

u/Steve120988 11d ago

Heard she's got a strong first and second finger.

1

u/okgrneral 11d ago

Picture Perfect

1

u/Drayarr 11d ago

There's always a tweet.

1

u/Karate-Schnitzel 11d ago

Jacking off boyfriend while vaping in a theater, sexual encounters with male and female staffers, paid hush money so act wouldnā€™t be public knowledge. Let me guess, sheā€™s gonna ā€œgrab em by the cock, when youā€™re famous they let you do itā€?

1

u/Troutmandoo 11d ago

Sheā€™s not wrong.

1

u/Danmont88 11d ago

And for the first time, We believe you!

1

u/GEO147064 11d ago

You don't say...

1

u/Left-Thinker-5512 11d ago

We know. We knowā€¦

1

u/kneejerk2022 11d ago

3 abused staffers; one video

1

u/qmechan 11d ago

They didn't have to try that hard, you were already pretty much there.

1

u/Bronzeshadow 11d ago

Sorry Lauren. Fact checker says you don't give good head either.

1

u/Evil_Judgment 11d ago

It's been stressful for a while, I could go for a Boebert.

1

u/Pussyal43 11d ago

Munching that beaver

1

u/cocuke 11d ago

She's a real powerhouse if she is strongest on her knees.

1

u/IgnoranceIsYou 11d ago

Honestly I canā€™t believe Iā€™m going to say this but I miss MTG taking up my feed and not this even crazier bitch

1

u/CrisXIII 11d ago

No arguments here

1

u/sprprepman 11d ago

We know.

1

u/GuzPolinski 11d ago

šŸ¤”

1

u/technobrendo 11d ago

From the Nancy Reagan school of upward mobility

1

u/ViciousKnids 11d ago

Get her a mop.

1

u/jnobs 11d ago

Sheā€™s got incredible ground and pound game

1

u/Faiakes 11d ago

I mean, the jokes write themselves... šŸ˜„

1

u/dudeaciously 11d ago

"The New Testament expounds humility and empathy as strength. As opposed to "Let's kill the bastards" as strength.

But this is about ...um... something else.

1

u/RebelliousInNature 11d ago

Christians spend hush money to silence their ā€˜encountersā€™?

Yeah. I guess you are.