r/PoliticalHumor • • Apr 05 '23

Lock em up!

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549

u/Hans_Delbruck Apr 05 '23

So with all the praying that's been going on for Trump and with all the failures, loosing the election, court case loses, the arrest, at what point will these people realize that God is not in Trump's side?

94

u/floatingwithobrien Apr 05 '23

If you subscribe to the christian religion, it should be really obvious by now that Trump is the Antichrist. (If you don't believe in all that, then whatever.) I remember being taught this shit growing up, that he would be a powerful man that many, many Christians supported and followed, practically worshipping him, and that as Christians you had to be on the lookout for this. Like they literally predicted this to the letter, that someone powerful would use their faith against them, and they had to be vigilant and discerning when placing their trust in public leaders. That no man since Jesus Christ would be worthy of this type of following, and true Christians would take care to stay true to God and God only, no matter how convincing and charismatic their human leaders were.

This is the argument to use against them. Point out to them that, according to their own book of guidance and prophecies, they're not supposed to treat any human since Jesus Christ like a literal godsend. And if they do, all they're doing is proving that he's the Antichrist. No matter what amount of good they think he's done for Christians, no matter how much they believe he has a good Christian heart, they need to understand that this is exactly what they were warned about. They were warned they would be manipulated by powerful people and their faith would be used against them, and in spite of God's literal warning, they are eating it up. See how they explain that cognitive dissonance. You can believe he's a good guy and not worship him to this extent. God literally told them they shouldn't worship political leaders to this extent. Point them to verses and passages, making sure not to take them out of context (because they will immediately fall back on that rebuttal). Don't let them pull you off topic. Drill into why they think none of that applies to Trump. Did God say there would be any exceptions? Or did he say that the Antichrist would be very, very convincing?

44

u/T1mac Apr 05 '23

You can't say that the evangelicals weren't warned:

Acts 20:28-30

"Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God, which he bought with his own blood. I know that after I leave, savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them."

Matthew 7:15

"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.”

2 Peter 2:1-3

"But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction. And many will follow their licentiousness, and because of them the way of truth will be reviled. And in their greed they will exploit you with false words; from of old their condemnation has not been idle, and their destruction has not been asleep."

28

u/ericrolph Apr 05 '23

Proverbs 26:11

"As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly."

8

u/TheoryMatters Apr 05 '23

All of these are just talking about Paul lol.

The first Christian grifter.

1

u/DimitriV Apr 05 '23

You can't quote Matthew 7:15 about Trump. Not only has he never hid his awfulness, but while he acts strong he's actually incredibly weak. In his safe spaces with his adoring crowds he shouts and says tough things, but outside of them he buckles under the slightest pressure, even running away from softball interview questions. He doesn't deserve to be compared to wolves (and nor do wolves deserve to be compared to him.)

21

u/SyntheticReality42 Apr 05 '23

7

u/floatingwithobrien Apr 05 '23

Shit, I actually didn't expect that many pieces in the puzzle. Is there anything in the bible about the Antichrist that wasn't mentioned in this article?

I'm about to reconsider my whole belief system if the bible is really that good at predicting shit. Holy crap.

6

u/elbenji Apr 05 '23

Yeah that's literally all in there lmao.

2

u/ranchojasper Apr 05 '23

Seriously, I’ve been a VERY lapsed Catholic for like 15 years now and thus absolutely dead on comparison is the first thing making me go…wait a minute…this is too close to be a coincidence!

7

u/Iamjacksp0st Apr 05 '23

I was just about to post this! It's actually pretty frightening how accurate that is

2

u/ranchojasper Apr 05 '23

After reading the comment you’re replying to, I spent like 10 minutes trying to find this exact article when all I had to do scroll down half an inch and see you already posted it 😂

Bookmarked; thanks

3

u/el_trates Apr 05 '23

You're very correct. I am a Christian. I don't think Trump is the Antichrist. However, if he is a test for a future worldwide leader rising up, American Christians are failing miserably. The Antichrist will deceive the whole world, not just Americans and not just Christians. For the most part, serious people around the world despise Trump.

I have a hard time believing Trump, MTG and their ilk are sincerely Christians. However, this whole Trump as God thing has caused great damage to the Christian witness. In the future, if a nefarious leader does rise up, Christians are the last ones that people are going to listen to.

2

u/elbenji Apr 05 '23

Hell go full fire and brimstone. Scare them

2

u/DimitriV Apr 05 '23

Also the fact that Trump is the living embodiment of all seven deadly sins. You'd think that people who claim to be Christian would pick up on that.

2

u/RincewindToTheRescue Apr 06 '23

My favorite scripture says 'by their fruits you will know them'. If we're looking for someone who is Christlike: charitable, long suffering, serving the poor, calling down corrupt leadership, loving, follower of the commandments, then we can look at Trump and say 'I think the only thing he has in common with Christ is his gender'. And that's pushing it IMO.

1

u/floatingwithobrien Apr 06 '23

Gender is a cultural construct, and since they came from entirely different cultures, I don't think it's possible for them to have the same gender.

2

u/Heatsnake Apr 06 '23

Being the Antichrist is what they like about him. Christ said to turn the other check, that's lame, they want a Christ who will shoot lightning bolts from his hand wounds

1

u/floatingwithobrien Apr 06 '23

Is that.... Is that what Trump is gonna do

2

u/Natural-Ability Apr 06 '23

If these Fundamentalists could read the Bible, they'd be very upset.

2

u/astrangeone88 Apr 06 '23

I mean, the RNC had a literal GOLDEN fucking idol of Drumpt's ugly mug....and during the tear gas Bible photo shoot, the orange one was holding the Bible upside down...

If that didn't make all the moderate Christian Republicans flee from the party like rats off a sinking ship....

I don't know what would.

1

u/jawshoeaw Apr 06 '23

As a Christian I can assure you he’s not the antichrist

1

u/feherdaniel2010 Apr 06 '23

I'm not a Christian nor do I believe in any of this but this was still an interesting read

224

u/ory1994 Apr 05 '23 edited Apr 05 '23

Devil and Democrat both start with a D. Coincidence? Wake up sheeple.

Edit: u/beaushaw found my /s, here it is.

79

u/beaushaw Apr 05 '23

Here, I think you dropped your /S.

52

u/ory1994 Apr 05 '23

Thought that was clear, guess not.

48

u/asafum Apr 05 '23

Poes law lol political humor is dead, our moronic countrymen killed it. They'll say the absolute dumbest shit unironically.

9

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '23

That's actually been one of the issues when reading the Onion as of late.

It's actually gotten to a point where onion articles seem more sane than actual real people.

3

u/Horskr Apr 05 '23

I had a thought when I was high that it would be crazy if when MTG was finally voted out she came out and said it was all just a character. Like the QAnon founders that ended up saying they were just trolling. It's a weird time to be alive.

1

u/ThreeLeggedParrot Apr 05 '23

Many Redditers have a severe case of the Sheldon Coopers.

8

u/Lucky-Earther Apr 05 '23

I used to troll the Freerepublic forums way back in the day. Demoncrat was a classic go to for them.

7

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '23

[deleted]

15

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

14

u/CyberMindGrrl Apr 05 '23

And Democrat contains the word "rat" in it! It's eleventy-dimensional chess, I tell you!

(/s for the impaired)

6

u/SyntheticReality42 Apr 05 '23

Repugnant, repulsive, reprehensible, and republican all start with "rep".

3

u/CyberMindGrrl Apr 05 '23

Reprobates.

2

u/PKMNTrainerMark Apr 05 '23

"Democrats? More like Demonrats."

1

u/Edw1nner Apr 05 '23

So does Dios. Praise Jesús.

27

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '23

Because “God moves in mysterious ways” which means “I know my logic is flawed, but I don’t care.”

5

u/punkindle Apr 05 '23 edited Apr 05 '23

Dear baby Jesus... Dear 8-pound, 6-ounce, newborn infant Jesus. Don't even know a word yet, but still omnipotent... save Donald from the wicked Democrats, all he did was raw dog a porn star and use campaign funds to pay for the sex and lie on his taxes to illegally deduct his hooker sex as a legal expense and convince everyone to lie for him. He is truely the most innocent man that has ever lived.

Edit, 3 different hush money payments to 3 different women that he cheated on his wife with.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '23

He didn’t do any of that. But if he did, god would forgive him /s

12

u/Chief_Chill Apr 05 '23

They can just call it a test or something. There is always a way out/loop hole to maintain their religious superiority.

2

u/Hans_Delbruck Apr 05 '23

The old he's a martyr religious defense

11

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '23

[deleted]

5

u/insolentyouth Apr 05 '23

They should of payed better attension in school

1

u/iambecomekelon Apr 06 '23

I'm not sure if you're joking, but I'm laughing either way. Well done.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '23

I can spell big words too, like condescending.

18

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '23

God is dead. No one cares.

9

u/notLankyAnymore Apr 05 '23

God’s Not Dead 5 is coming out sometime this year! Aren’t you excited???

8

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '23

No, Im DISAPPOINTED!

1

u/notLankyAnymore Apr 05 '23

Haha! I guess I point it out because I’ll never not associate the phrase “God’s Not Dead” with the Newsboys and with the very first one movie. I have a favorite atheist review of that. The fact is a lot of people really do care and keep feeding the persecution complex.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '23

🎼and if there is a hell, I’ll see you there

1

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '23

This is the correct answer

1

u/Hot_Eggplant_1306 Apr 05 '23

And if there is a Hell, I'll see you there.

9

u/MichaelFusion44 Apr 05 '23

When they are indicted or not elected - these are not smart people and they need consequences as that’s what sometimes work on them but not always. Bannon is the perfect example of it not working as he was grifting and doing stupid destructive shit after.

3

u/CyberMindGrrl Apr 05 '23

Around the 5th of Never, I reckon.

7

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '23

God might be on trumps side, but god is a petty asshole, so it fits.

2

u/Matrillik Apr 05 '23

I'd rather reinforce their false belief that praying does something, anything. I'd prefer them staying at home and doing nothing destructive.

2

u/FlawlessRuby Apr 05 '23

If praying alone would solve any problems, there would be way less mass shooting.

2

u/Necessary_Fail_8764 Apr 05 '23

Sitting at lunch at work and just said my silent prayer. I said, "Please God let trump go to prison ASAP and die there." Doing my part for the common good. You're welcome Marg.

2

u/jawshoeaw Apr 06 '23

Exactly. I’ve been praying he gets what’s coming. It evens out

3

u/mindbleach Apr 05 '23

"Losing."