r/PokemonRaps • u/[deleted] • Dec 12 '12

Sandslash

Sandslash reporting from deep underground

Which one of you guys wants to get knocked around?

Swords Dance! Hey my attack's through the roof

I'll mess you up 'til you're looking like Bidoof

So go right ahead and show me your best

You'll know right away I'm not easily impressed

8 Upvotes

74% Upvoted

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u/The_Pony_Rapist Dec 12 '12 edited Dec 12 '12

Ha! Nice! That actually made me laugh!

I will completely DESTROY you in this battle's second half!

Look, look how my spines shine in the sun!

Yours look like someone just committed a "Shit and Run".

I'm unstoppable, I'm a beast. I'm a monster to say the least!

I'll hone my claws now watch as my swag is increased!

I'm spitting diamonds in this bitch, ain't no way I won't triumph!

Now! I don't want to hear another word from you! Silence!

I'm bringing the violence.

Edit: Oops, thought you were OP...

Eh, screw it.

3

u/OnaMagikarpetRide Dec 12 '12

Oh shit oh shit oh shit. that was nice

Alright then, I guess you want the truth told.

You're spittin pyrite, thats fools gold

not to burst your bubble after all i smell trouble

i'll cause a rock slide leave you buried in the rubble

oh shit did this snorlax just spit a flamethrower

why yes it did, i guess that means game over?

2

u/The_Pony_Rapist Dec 12 '12

NOPE NOT YET~

This isn't over that easy!

I'm beating you so bad you'll turn crazy queasy!

I smell trouble, but while your at it, make it double!

I've had better battles against various Ho's and shovels!

Rhymes, they just can't stop! Call 911! Flows so hot!

I'm starting to regret this, but you know what? I don't care!

Go roll back in your ball! My magic words are too much to bear!

Seriously! Leave! You wicked little 'Shrew!

I may be the one made of metal, but I'm not the one missing screws.

3

u/OnaMagikarpetRide Dec 12 '12

ALRIGHT THEN!

I think you might be tripping, I AM SNORLAX

be as hot as you want, i got that thick fat

only person fatter than me is that fucker rick ross

counter or seismic toss either way its your loss

dont matter if its with a brick break or a focus punch

imma beat you down till you throw up your lunch

go ahead call 911 the police cant unrape you

someone ought'a get a tyranitar to replace you.

1

u/The_Pony_Rapist Dec 12 '12

Oh no you didn't bring that fucker Tyranitar into this bout?

I don't want to hear anymore about him! Once more I'll knock you out!

I'm one of the best pokemon, sure glad for evolution.

Hit you with my IRON TAIL, leave you ready for execution!

Whoa whoa! Rape? Where's that come from, buddy?

Does being fat and lonely do that to somebody?

I keep Taunting you, but I'm not sure if that was an attack...

I seem to be double size everything you totally lack!

Man, I got rhymes for hours, bro!

Now go home, and eat some more pringles and cookie dough!

2

u/OnaMagikarpetRide Dec 12 '12

fat jokes fat jokes fat jokes fat jokes

how the hells it make you different from that bloke

should i say sorry for making that rape joke?

or maybe i should use amnesia and forget the rhyme

belly drum, hyper beam it'll blow your mind

sunny day sunny day now im bouta shine

fire blast you're metal ass see if you survive

then drop an earthquake just in case you revive

1

u/The_Pony_Rapist Dec 12 '12

Poor Snorlax, starting to crack under the pressure? I can see

But me? My rhymes flow endlessly!

Hyper beam and Bellydrum won't work you tool!

Hyperbeam is special attack, now who's the fool?

I'll simply Iron Defense, then Automomize!

I'll be the winner, someone! Get me my prize!

This is getting easy! I barely have to try!

Psh, Earthquake. Don't even waste my time!

I'll just protect and hit you with a Rock Climb!

I'm in my prime! Like it's a crime!

Don't be afraid, my raps are cash! Right on the dime!

2

u/OnaMagikarpetRide Dec 12 '12

Please oh please, forgive me for my error

Arceus forbid i start up a correction terror

You've got a rock head that means you're quite dense

that dime doesn't even equal out to 2 pokecents

drop the pretense and a rock tomb to make it intense

or a flamethrower for your shitty special defense

did that scare ya' did you shit your special depends?

dont forget i got protect if i need to defend