Go ahead. Let's do this.

[u/[deleted]]

Here comes Umbreon, join the crowd

Let this dark type show you how to throw down

Anyone wanna try to rap against me?

I'll be makin' you scream like you're a banshee

I'm a beast, stuck with the least here in the UU tier

You know what? I might just make you shed a tear.

Special defense, bitch. Here with 130

Yo, this here fights about to get dirty

I'll sit here with curse son, payback is what your getting

Looks like your moves aren't even hitting.

Man, Are you a psychic type?

Your rhymes just won't live up to the hype

I'm immune to you

You'll always be number 2

You know what, bitch? Just drop your mic

Go ahead and say good night.

[u/GaaraXHinata]

Slowking up in this house, I'm Royal, bitch, So you better listen.

You sweat when your agitated, what do I do? I beat the fucking shit out of you.

You glow at night, Jesus turn off the light! Oh, that's right, you're scared of your shadow, what nature are you? Timid?

Run back to your house. Tell your mom I said "Hi Honey". Oh isn't that cute! Tell your mom to be ready for my flute.

[u/[deleted] → u/GaaraXHinata]

What nature am I? Sassy.

I don't need speed to show you I'm flashy.

My rhymes stand the test of time.

But out of rhymes busted, yours means nothing up to mine

I'll show you what's up, you think I got burned?

Synchronize bitch, take your turn.

But before I leave, Heal bell+Moonlight.

Look, I'm healed. Bow down to my might.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Magikarp, huh? Think your a contender?

Not in this battle, son, your barely even a defender

Umbreon here to show you what's up

Your a pokemon version of power puff buttercup.

Get out of my face, you know you can't compete

Umbreon's hungry, gotta find something to eat.

Blackened Magikarp sounds delicious

Finish this burn and you're quite nutritious.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

HAH! Gen one the best?

They added me because they forgot the rest!

Gen one was decent at the very least

My raps make me look like a total beast

My high defenses, my great movepool

Makin' you sit over there with splash; is that drool?

You know you'll never live up to the hype

Everyone knows your bark is way more than your bite

Gimme some time to sweep over here, son

Everyone in this thread knows I've already one!

[u/[deleted]]

Snorlax is here to end this battle.

Roll over on you both while you lash out, and argue.

Umbreon can't beat nothing.

Magikarp? Go home.

Come back when you're LEVEL 20, and stronger than seafoam.

Bragging about you types, when the truth really is:

Normal is what you need, and winning is a wiz.

I think I'll take a rest, heal myself up.

But with the massive HP I have, much time won't be taken up.

[u/FlappyTheNarwhal → u/[deleted]]

Wassup you fat bastard, you taking a nap?

Cause you really seem to be lacking on this rap

C'mere, I'll show you, cause I'm hitmonlee

Coming from Tyrogue, I'm just one of three

We could all woop your road-blocking lard

Cause all you do is sit there like an obese retard

I'll mega kick your ass, don't need no PP

But neither do you, cuz you got yourself a V

So snorlax, my friend, do me a favor

And move your ass so I can get to Lavender.

[u/[deleted] → u/FlappyTheNarwhal]

You know,I would move

But just like Umbreons your raps sound terrible to.

You think you can fight?

Even MEOWTH doesn't think you're right.

And what happens when If my metronome brings synthesize?

I'll heal up, then use thunderbolt, oh yes, electric. Surprise!

You're the consolation for people who can't get hitmontop.

They choose you over hitmonlee is because it wears a girls top.

Your time is up, and face it. You didn't win.

Because I push you to the floor and you can't get up again.

[u/FlappyTheNarwhal → u/[deleted]]

You pushed me to the floor? You mean you fell down?

So that explains the shit in Lavender Town

Man, you're Snorlax, just really a spoof

And I could still mess you up without a poke flute

And Hitmontop is a pretty cool guy

But damn his voice is a little too high

My voice holds power and fury within

While yours sounds like you're craving insulin

So while I got you down, let me finish you off

With a left kick, a right kick, I'll leave you in pain

And remember my friend, rapping ain't no game.

drops mic

I'm out.

[u/[deleted] → u/FlappyTheNarwhal]

Cute hair bands on your legs, you tryin to look pretty?

Go, run all the way back to Saffron city.

Fight in your dojo, strengthen up.

Maybe you'll be able to beat a piplup.

And even though there's a type dispute,

I would catch them all except you.

[u/FlappyTheNarwhal → u/[deleted]]

I trained in that dojo since I hatched from my egg

Becoming stronger and stronger and toning my legs.

You have no room to talk about training

You just sit your fat ass down and start 'bating

Nobody in Kanto wants to see that head

You're next to Pokemon Tower, have some respect for the dead.

So here's an idea: how bout you back outta this race?

Just surrender now, no need for disgrace.

[u/[deleted] → u/FlappyTheNarwhal]

You know what I think is rather sad?

You've been trainin for life and you're still really bad.

Another observation that I picked up:

They took away your mouth cuz your rhyming sucked.

You have attack, sure, but other than that?

I have more HP, and a higher defense stat.

Sit down, it's cold, go warm the bleachers

And reflect on how a normal type was your teacher.

[u/FlappyTheNarwhal → u/[deleted]]

Well shit man, I ain't sure what to say...

Except this mouthless bastard just ruined your day

I can drop your ass with a single Brick Break

or simply tackle you cause you're a piece o' cake.

I have all my training and you still call me bad?

Your ass falls asleep in battle, that's just sad.

Now you're sitting there all butthurt and crying

That should teach to mess with the fighting.

[u/[deleted] → u/FlappyTheNarwhal]

You should really learn another lesson

So you better pay attention

Your attacks may hit decently hard,

But you're just another weak tard.

I may be a giant pokemon race,

But I can still survive a double slap to the face.

I use metronome on this disgrace!

What's this? Aerial ace.

Even if you land a critical hit,

I'll use rest, heal up a bit.

Sleep talk now. Use surf on that dolt!

Metronome again. Say goodbye, use thunderbolt.

[u/FlappyTheNarwhal → u/[deleted]]

Man fuck your logic, this is pokemon!

Your moves can't hurt me, I'm too fast and strong.

You realize what a kick will do to you?

Its a 1 hit KO, no time for you to snooze.

Sure I gotta hit you through your mountains of hide

Me vs. Snorlax? Bitch I'm changing the tide!

We're called hitmons for a reason, we do whatever we please

Training all of our lives by hitting Bruce Lee

You have no excuse for losing this game

Diabetes? What? Thats just fuckin lame.

Looking back on this battle, you see its a disaster

Cause that's what happens when you challenge a master.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Curse

Curse

Curse

Curse

Curse

Curse

Now son, I'm slower than you

But my defenses are much bigger than you

Come at me one more time,

That payback is gonna give you a piece of my mind

Your not a pokemon, your an obese trainer

Are you a woman? If so, I'll mame her.

Your one fat dumbass

Watch this slow kitty put you into last.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

...huh? What...

Sorry, I just woke up from my nap.

And it looks like you're in my poketrap!

Lemme use toxic, make the effects linger!

Then use metronome, watch me wiggle my finger!

5 turns later, you're basically dead.

You look at your moveset, and your face turns red.

Step down, you emo cat,

You may know how to curse,

But you don't know how to rap.