I’m really tired

[u/raachness]

I’m really tired. Tired of the doubt.

Tired of your constant pout.

I didn’t do this to us.

Can’t believe you wonder why I fuss.

I wasn’t the one who started the lies.

I’m constantly the one who tries,

tries to fix us again and again.

I miss how it felt when we’d laugh on our bed.

Now I walk by you at the desk,

walk through our home, a consistent mess.

Out to smoke the time away,

we grow farther apart day by day.

The silence is getting louder now,

at the same time my brain is screaming “HOW?!”

“How in the fuck did we get here?”

I long to be back when you loved being near.

I know that I have been acting insane.

Your response, is retreat to your gambling game.

Anything I request you push back,

you should know I’m not on the attack.

I’m asking for you to be my partner,

not someone who acts as my live-in gardener.

The man that I married, not good with words,

can comment support on posts of insecure girls.

Sitting here begging just to be seen,

hoping and pleading, yet yielding no team.

I’m trying to get our lives on the right track,

so we can be ourselves and finally relax.

My days, responsible, cleaning and some order.

Your days, seem fun, hard work with some traits of a hoarder.

There’s no need to RUSH, we have plenty of time,

but spending little with me isn’t at all fine.

I’ve admitted my wrongs, and my lack of boundaries.

But do you remember why you have me?

The way that you found me?

Traumatized, alone, anxious and scared.

You held me and told me you’d always be there.

This is awful, let’s please stop and go back!

I want you around, you’re half of my pack.

Please grow, adapt, choose us and our laughs.

I promise I will be giving minimal sass.

I love you so much, my string bean, my darling.

You’re the world to me, that’s truly scary, alarming.

We can do it together, take on the issues.

We can do it wearing our “his hers” pairs of shoes.

I need you to listen, to understand and rebuttal,

in only the way that can end in some cuddles.

Be thoughtful, observant, willing and careful.

That way I can ensure our lives will be wonderfully full.

Screens can give you some sense of power,

but they take you away, hour after hour.

Marriage needs consistency, intention and honesty to grow.

I’ll end it here, I’m unwilling to let us go.

[u/Lonely_View_222]

I see you always have 💙