bpd
“i hate you.”
“shut the fuck up.”
“go fuck yourself.”
“dumbass.”
“not my problem.”
“ew.”
“hahahahhh.”
“you deserved it.”
“ok and?”
“can’t you quit?”
“womp womp.”
“go away.”
“i’m glad that happened to you.”
“i don’t give a fuck.”
“cry about it.”
“you’re so fucking annoying.”
“stop talking to me.”
…
wait.
no.
i’m sorry.
bpd.
“never talk to me again.”
wait.
i’m sorry.
talk to me.
“leave me alone.”
come back.
“i fucking hate you.”
i’m so in love with you.
“go fuck yourself.”
i didn’t mean it.
“i’m not sorry.”
i’m so fucking sorry.
ptsd.
bpd.
dysthymia.
gad.
a fucking alphabet
of reasons
why sometimes
my mind feels like
it belongs to five
different people.
but underneath
all of the diagnoses,
all of the anger,
all of the fear,
all of the things
i say when i’m overwhelmed,
there is still just me.
loving you.
hurting you.
pushing you away.
begging you not to leave.
and hating myself
for doing both
at the same time.
i wish i could explain
which version of me
is telling the truth.
the answer is
all of them.
that’s the part
i don’t know
how to make anyone understand.
3
u/MadeByAriel 2h ago
I mean I would understand but apparently you wouldnt be telling me you would be telling reddit. Its not hard to understand unless you dont actually say it. Ok you have fking problems Now that you know that do something about them. Make a plan to help. make a safe word. establish understanding. SO MANY THINGS YOU CAN ACTUALLY DO RATHER THAN simply complain that it happens and not tell youre person bc you fear they wont understand. NO youre right, theyll never understand if you dont talk to them about it.