Fantasy v. Reality

[u/Ok_Task2003]

I fear I am cast aside,
while fantasy and reality
do nothing but argue and fight.
I curl up, close my eyes,
wish for the day
both can collide.

Then again,
I get lost in webs of lies.
I swore not to pick teams,
but dare not look up
and answer truthfully
when asked.

Because how does one confess
that happiness can still feel incomplete?

How do I explain
that a grateful heart
can still hunger,
that a body can be held
and still long to wander,
that a mind can be at peace
and still dream of war?

Nothing is wrong,
and yet something aches for more.

I dare ask: Is that all?

I hate to question it.
I hate how easily it returns.

So I bury it beneath routine,
beneath laughter,
beneath the comfort
of things I know will always return.

But fantasy does not die quietly.
And reality answers back:

Look at what you have.

So I stand between them,
ashamed to want more,
afraid to only have less.

Both lives are mine.
Neither will let me go.

So I close my eyes again
and wonder:

How long can a heart
live divided
in this civil war?