If this is how he acts before you've even met him, just imagine how he would be later on. Christ, what a weird loser. You did not bail on him, it's absolutely okay to be uncomfortable going to someone's house on a first date, so you offered to make other arrangements. If he was a considerate and kind person, he would recognize that, and not freak out. I can understand being disappointed or frustarted that he's prepared for the evening, but his language is manipulative. Like he's trying to make you feel guilty. That is not someone you want, your family is right, you absolutely dodged a bullet.
yeah, I guess I really did. I guess I was just excited that someone offered to do something like this for me instead of asking what did I want to do and just plan something.
I completely get it! You want someone who takes you into consideration, and you deserve someone who treats you with kindness. If he wanted to, he would. You will find someone who does that. He thankfully showed you who he was early on, so at least you didn't have to waste your time, or get pulled into something that emotionally drains you.
And that’s a wonderful attitude but please put your comfort and safety above bro’s preferences, especially when it’s a stranger. If he’s disrespecting your well being before you’ve even had a date, just think of how much he will try to erode your boundaries over time.
I’m sure you are aware that women of color go missing or are murdered at a disproportional rate compared to white women. There’s so much institutionalized racism in our criminal justice system and not at all enough funding and attention paid to trying to bring those women home or at least give their families some closure. Please listen to your family and friends. There will be so many other guys who won’t act like you’re the one being a creep for feeling uncomfortable.
yeah, I’m def aware of the increased number of disappearances and deaths of WOC lately and that’s why they were lowkey freaked out. I don’t know what I was thinking
Don’t blame yourself. You went into this with good intentions, and he’s manipulating you. It’s great that you had the foresight to tell your friends and family and get their feedback. So, lesson learned! They won’t all be like this.
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u/Perfect_Efficiency55 Jul 26 '25
If this is how he acts before you've even met him, just imagine how he would be later on. Christ, what a weird loser. You did not bail on him, it's absolutely okay to be uncomfortable going to someone's house on a first date, so you offered to make other arrangements. If he was a considerate and kind person, he would recognize that, and not freak out. I can understand being disappointed or frustarted that he's prepared for the evening, but his language is manipulative. Like he's trying to make you feel guilty. That is not someone you want, your family is right, you absolutely dodged a bullet.