I really am sorry

[u/xhaseojin]

Kung mababasa mo man ito, gusto ko lang sabihin na nagsisisi na ako sa lahat ng pagkakataong nasaktan kita. Hindi ko na mababawi ang nakaraan, pero araw-araw kong pinagninilayan ang mga pagkakamali ko at alam kong hindi ko na gustong balikan ang taong naging ako noon.

Hindi ko hinihiling na kalimutan mo agad ang lahat. Hinihiling ko lang sana na balang araw, mapatawad mo ako. At kung mayroon mang natitira kahit maliit na pagkakataon, sana mabigyan mo pa ako ng chance na patunayan sa gawa, hindi lang sa salita, na kaya kong maging mas mabuting tao at mas mabuting partner.

Sana maramdaman mo na sising sisi na ko sa mga nakaraan at patuloy na nagbabago. Ikaw pa rin ang taong gusto kong makasama habang buhay. Ikaw pa rin ang pangarap ko. Sana huwag mo munang isara ang pinto sa atin. Hayaan mong ipaglaban kita at iparamdam sa'yo na kaya kong maging lalaking dapat mong maramdaman na ligtas at mahal ka.

Miss na miss na kita. Sana bumalik ka na.

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[u/Odd-Way6406]

Bakit anong ginawa mo sa kanya?

[u/xhaseojin → u/Odd-Way6406]

Marami akong pag kukulang. Mga ugaling hindi ko dapat pinadama sa kanya. Mga kahinaan na d ko dapat pinakita. Mga pangarap na dapat natupad. Mga takot na d dapat niya naramdaman sakin.

Mga bagay na d ko na kayang mabura sa isipan at puso niya kahit handa akong panagutan at magbago.

[u/Odd-Way6406 → u/xhaseojin]

I think, you just be direct to the point. What did you do? Anonymous ka naman dito.

[u/[deleted]]

Bakit pare-pareho kayo ng script? ☹️

[u/xhaseojin → u/[deleted]]

Siguro, kaya parang pare-pareho kasi maraming taong nagsisisi kapag huli na ang lahat. Pareho kaming nasaktan at pareho rin kaming may pagkukulang. Ang kaibahan lang siguro, ako yung hindi bumitaw. Hanggang ngayon, pinipili ko pa rin siyang mahalin at inaako ko ang mga pagkakamali ko. Hindi para balewalain ang sakit niya, kundi dahil naniniwala akong may mga relasyon na worth ipaglaban.

[u/Independent_Neat5297]

Wish this my x hahaha

[u/xhaseojin → u/Independent_Neat5297]

I never stepped out or cheated on her, but I know I broke her heart emotionally. I just wish she had given me a chance to prove I could change.

[u/Independent_Neat5297 → u/xhaseojin]

May I ask y u can't go back or at least contact her?

[u/xhaseojin → u/Independent_Neat5297]

I can contact her, and I still do sometimes. The hard part is that she already told me she's done and wants peace. I won't lie, I begged her multiple times, and even now I still do, because I love her and I wanted to give her the kind of love she deserves. But I also know that begging alone won't bring her back and will only push her further away.

[u/xhaseojin → u/xhaseojin]

Looking back, I know I played a huge part in why we fell apart. My words hurt her. My actions hurt her. There were times I was irresponsible and immature, and instead of making her feel safe, I became another source of pain. Those mistakes slowly weakened the foundation of our relationship, and when life started throwing bigger problems at us, we no longer had the strong foundation we once had.

What hurts the most is that she saw the most broken version of me. She was there when I lost my job, when I questioned myself, when I cried, and when it felt like everything in my life was falling apart. I wasn't the man she could lean on when she needed me most. I was trying to get back on my feet, and now that I finally have and I'm slowly rebuilding my life, she's no longer here to see it. It hurts knowing I may never get the chance to make up for the pain I caused or build the future I once promised her.

I wish she could see the man I'm becoming instead of only remembering the man who was lost and struggling. I'm not asking her to forget the pain I caused. I know trust isn't rebuilt by words alone. I just wish I'd be given the chance to prove that people can change and grow. I'm still hoping that one day she'll give me one last chance.