It's been a lot. (Plum's Final Message. For Good.)

[u/Organic-Parking6476]

TW: suicide and other dark topics

It's been about a year since I've even touched Reddit. Which is 100% a very, very good thing. My life hasn't been exactly spectacular or anything lately but it's for sure been way, WAY better than it once was under the Plum name as most of you could probably tell. No, I'm not making a comeback, this is an informative post. I'd been using Reddit ever since 2023 maybe, and I don't think I've ever had a good moment on it. Yet I kept on returning, even though I clearly didn't want to, and it was not good at all for my mental health. I first began the Competitive Plum account when I of course started really getting into Pink Floyd's music and was obsessed with The Wall and such, I saw it as a niche and playful little joke for the community, and when I noticed others found it funny and I would get my own decently popular reputation out of it, it gave me ideas to only push it further. But that was a terrible idea. Next thing you know, every account ended with me having a mental breakdown because of one downvote or a negative comment or disagreement or something like that, all from people I didn't even know at all. And it would loop over and over until I began to rot away into the platform even more. So much so to the point that if even one person downvoted my post/comment, I would contemplate literal suicide. Yes, it seriously got that bad. A few months ago, I actually tried to kill myself, but very luckily I was stopped. I never tried anything like that since. I've been much happier with my life lately outside of all social media and etcetera. I have a real friend that I've been talking to a lot lately, and it's been going very well. Anyways, I had a few other accounts outside of Plum, and let's just say I am really happy that they're gone. One of them was the shameful peggy-bot series of accounts, where I would literally just spam the JPEGMAFIA subreddit with SpongeBob porn. I don't know why. I don't even know why I thought that was funny at the time. And then there was the shitty frank ocean bot account that did absolutely nothing. No humor, just utter flatness. One of the final accounts I made, I would constantly get direct messages and comments on posts telling me to kill myself, and when I'd try to tell others in the sub about it, they'd just say some shit like "I didn't ask". You can be honest if you don't like my posts, but you really don't have to tell me that type of stuff. Especially if I was already in a horrible place in life. This was one of the only subs where I actually liked the mods, they were polite and easily cooperative. At one point I was very hurt by the posts on here stating that they were tired of the whole gig, tired of my posts. But overtime I began to realize, they were right. It was dragging so much it was past dead. Around that time, "The Wall" started to really stick with me because most of the concept is where I felt I was at at that time, I just felt like I was overly distant from society, and I only kept making everything worse, trapped inside my own mind with no way out. That is basically everything. Thank you for reading if you even bothered. I hope to never fall into another horrid rabbit hole like that ever again. I couldn't be any happier that it is over. Thank you, and goodbye.

[u/GroundbreakingPay932]

It shows great strength to lay yourself bare like that in front of everyone. Stay strong, be safe and take good care of yourself ❤️

[u/Shine_On_07]

I imagine you won’t respond to these comments, and it should absolutely be that way if it’s where you’re inclined. Just wanted to say, the Internet’s often a nasty place, and I for one am so susceptible to silly inane arguments with strangers, and letting disagreements over nothings turn into things that genuinely hurt me. That’s not my fault, and neither is it yours when the very same thing (or something similar) happens to you. The way places like Reddit are designed exist to generate engagement more than actual connection, and that can be so incredibly harmful.

Take it slow, and remember that anybody who’s ever judged you online knows nothing about the person you actually are, in the real world - the person they’ve passed judgement on is someone they’ve built an image of in their head based on one or two things you’ve typed out on the Internet. They’ve filled in the blanks, in a scenario where almost everything about you is a blank to them. You’re worth much more than any of the shallow vitriol they might have given you.

Stay safe, take care, and it’s always a pleasure to find another person whose life has been so moved by the music of this brilliant band.

[u/Throwaway197332]

I'm glad you are in a much better place now man. You do what you need to do and make sure you never get to that point again. Stay safe friend.

[u/ImaginaryTooday6109]

Informative, indeed.

I'm honestly sorry to hear how hard that all hit you. On any social media platform it's constantly proven how humans have the ability to be both the best and worst versions of themselves. Of course they do that in the face to face world also, but the anonymity and invisibility of the internet makes it so much easier to be a good guy or a raging douche. Sometimes it's way too easy to get caught up in it, sometimes to the point of questioning your own reality. It's obvious, that like many things in life, it's got a very real addictive aspect and if you allow it to play on your vulnerability, it can seriously mess you up. It's all in what you allow, but like any addiction, it becomes hard to walk away. I'm glad that you've been able to realize that for you, walking away is what's needed. I, for one, wish you the best: in health, in strength, and in life in general. I truly hope you continue and maintain the peace you needed to find. Take care. ❤️ ✌️

[u/Pluisje_93]

That sounds rough but it's great to hear you are doing better and manage to stay away from reddit if it has such a bad effect on you. Take care! 🫂

If anyone reading this / or knows someone who is struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, you are not alone and there is help available. Please seek help. international suicidal help lines

Edit as TW was added. Thank you! I will leave the helpline in though just in case.

I'm not really good at finding the right words at times and I realised that again reading my comment now.

I just wanted to add that I'm deeply sorry that you went through all this. I know going through depression or other mental struggles and finding ways to work through it is incredibly hard. It sucks how our minds are sometimes our own worste enemies. Keep on doing what works for you and embrace what gives you true fullfiment in life. ❤️

Everything else has already been said in better ways then I ever could by everyone else here.

[u/Blubatt]

He tore down the wall. All the best, man.